1417: Missed Connections

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

This statement is gross. The whole PUA thing is gross. The "PUA community" deserves every jot of its bad reputation. It's actually more disturbing to learn that there's a "more mathematical" PUA rating system for women, as if it's any less objectifying and dehumanizing to assign women numerical values like they're livestock if one has to open Excel or whatever the fuck and run a few equations to determine a woman's worth. (NOTE: please don't take this as an invitation to further explain the rating system - just knowing it exists is plenty creepy as is, thank you)

This. People are not vending machines (men or women). You can't put your quarters into every one, push a particular button, and get the same thing every time. If your aim is to get your dick wet and you play the odds by hitting up a hundred women, then yeah, your chances of getting laid are high. But you aren't learning a damned thing about how to treat other people and if your aim is to find someone long term, this isn't the way to do it.

[Jonny Face]

I dont see the problem with it really.If women can use make-up,heels,push-up bra's etc to boost their attractiveness,why can't men do the same thing with their personalities and the things they say.

[punk'n]

Loved Nikki! For a first time guest, she was relaxed, funny and interesting. A+

[invader]

How many virgins are awesome in bed? I can probably guarantee the first few times I had sex I sucked at it just like everyone else. Or lets assume I still suck, I’m still doing a lot better than I did and now I have a partner that can work with me sexually. Just assuming that because I got a woman into bed, that she jumped out the window wanting nothing to do with me, is being just as reductive as you are blaming the PUA community of being. Just opening up and being yourself, quite honestly doesn’t really work all that well. They even address that in the community; “If being yourself doesn’t work, become a better version of yourself.” Its all about self improvement. They just give guidelines to follow to become better at personal interaction and after a while it does become very natural.

How does someone with low self-esteem and no self-confidence build some? “Just go out and talk to women.” Is shitty advice for someone who doesn’t know how to talk to women. Why doesn’t Nikki Glaser just stop being afraid of centipedes, seems to me that would solve her problem. PUA’s stress “just going out and talking” they are just a little more in depth.

I understand no one wants to be reduced to a set of ones and zeros, but it freaking works. On men and women. There is a book called Magic Bullets just skim through that, I can bet a lot of the things past, present and future partners have done while getting to know you are not only in the book but also broken down why you found it so charming.

Finally the idea that women are objectified and mystified, is a total misnomer. That impression can only be garnered from taking a passing glance and going off satire of the community rather than the actual community. Don't get me wrong, they aren't a bunch of altruistic saints. But they are a fount of useful information.

[scottperezfox]

Everyone should check out the Missed Connections Illustrated Blog, where posts from NYC Craig's List are illustrated, often in a pleasantly surrealistic style.

Missed Connections

There's also a book

Missed Connections: Main Description: $13.95: Workman Publishing

[Junkenstein]

Originally Posted by invader

How many virgins are awesome in bed? I can probably guarantee the first few times I had sex I sucked at it just like everyone else. Or lets assume I still suck, I’m still doing a lot better than I did and now I have a partner that can work with me sexually. Just assuming that because I got a woman into bed, that she jumped out the window wanting nothing to do with me, is being just as reductive as you are blaming the PUA community of being. Just opening up and being yourself, quite honestly doesn’t really work all that well.

Are we talking about virgins? i thought those guys were teaching how to get women to anyone.

i'll shut up about virgins. i dont understand those beings.

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by Jonny Face

I dont see the problem with it really.If women can use make-up,heels,push-up bra's etc to boost their attractiveness,why can't men do the same thing with their personalities and the things they say.

No one's saying you can't do it. Just pointing out that you shouldn't be surprised if the mind-fucking technique only goes so far. It cuts both ways. Extremely fake women like you're describing only appeal to some men. And other men will be turned off when they find out that almost everything you're presenting to the world is artificial.

[incognegro13x]

Has anyone really seen a real pick up artist? Pick up artists in my mind are the same as the slang versions of gangstas and pimps. Everyone wants to be one, some people think they are, but most are not.

[invader]

Originally Posted by Junkenstein

Are we talking about virgins? i thought those guys were teaching how to get women to anyone.

i'll shut up about virgins. i dont understand those beings.

I was specifically talking about my situation. And how good I was in bed even after reading up on PUAs and still being a virgin.

Also, these aren't magic tricks that only work on shallow women. It's also not a password for 100% success. But I'll shut up about it now. I just figured I'd give the other side and it shouldn't be totally written off.

[EatTheWeak]

Originally Posted by invader

How does someone with low self-esteem and no self-confidence build some? “Just go out and talk to women.” Is shitty advice for someone who doesn’t know how to talk to women.

On my personal journey out of awkwardness, the trick was to stop thinking of the act as "talking to women ZOMG THEY'RE SO STRANGE" and more as "talking to people," which was way less scary and way more fun.