1417: Missed Connections
 

"I stir things with my dick. Maybe you heard a me."


Nikki Glaser Live

I saw Nikki live in DC a few months ago, glad to see her on the show. She was hilarious both times and yes fellas, quite a knockout. She should have the pick of the litter, kinda surprised she doesn't have better luck even with her road schedule.

That interview with Shock G sounds hilarious and sad at the same time. Either way, I'll listen to it.

That makes me feel uncomfortable.

I can't put my finger on it, but something about that is weird.

She wont *literally* knock people out. That'd be a public safety risk, obviously.

If she's over dating guys with charisma, who can make a crowd laugh, carry on a conversation, love to travel and be romantic, I'm available.

In defense of PUA and the community.
 

A lot of the community has been sensationalized and misunderstood. Its not necessarily something sinister, its basically a bunch of nerds that have broken down meeting people into an algorithm, that helps guys who are more awkward get better at meeting women. When I really started looking into the community and all the information that they had and using it for myself I went from being an over 25 virgin to having 5 different sexual partners and one long term girlfriend in the span of six months. That’s pretty good for a guy that use to constantly stutter in front of any women that he found even remotely attractive, I think. In fact a lot of the great advice given by Keith and Chemda on how to get better with social interactions are core tips given to beginner PUAs.

Some of the misunderstandings; Negs for example aren’t suppose to be used on everyone. In fact they stress only using them on 10s (I’ll go into rating if anyone wants, but even the act of rating a woman is actually more mathematical than just how nice her tits are). The idea is if you talk to 100 women you’d probably only use a neg once or twice and only in dire a situation. The point isn't to put a woman down or lower her self-esteem but to at first show disinterest in her. Since extremely beautiful women are approached constantly just sparking a conversation with one is going to put her on high alert; “This guy is going to try to get in my pants, let me shoot him down before he even tries." Showing fake disinterest puts her at ease around you so that she can better get to know you, without her guard being up.

Peacocking is simply standing out from the crowd. Ideally the act of peacocking is ironically subtle. Say for example I go to a club and I’m in a business suit. Most people would just see me and naturally think I’m some sort of business man. But lets say I’m in the same suit and I have on black nail polish. Since most women usually notice a mans hands they would notice the black nail polish which isn’t really congruent with the suit. So instead of just assuming I’m a business man (because what job that requires a suit would allow black nail polish), my profession is now unknown. This doesn’t automatically get her dripping wet and ready to jump into bed with me, but it does make her pause for a second and notice you apart from the crowd. Which makes it all the more easier to start conversation with her.

From body language, to posture, to the tone of your voice… they cover it all and the logic behind is pretty sound and coming from someone who has tried it out, it works.

I will admit that a lot if not all of the examples of pick up lines and techniques aren’t worth shit. But if you understand the thought process behind the lines, you can make up your own stuff and be 100% comfortable using it.

ok, but be honest how many of those first 5 sexual partners were disappointed in the bedroom.

The whole PUA thing never seemed to have enough follow through to me. The objective always seemed to just be getting the girl, how much does that help one of these guys if they have no experience and thusly suck in bed?

still, the idea that something that should be natural as meeting people and flirting, should be turned into a set of rules, is terribly depressing and a bit dehumanizing

And i also agree with Jo. someone who follows a set of mathematical rules to interact with people probably has no idea how chemistry and spontaneity work so he most definitely is a lousy lay.

Whenever Keith talks about things he's done to pick up women, it always seems to me like he uses the 'pua' techniques without realising it.

This statement is gross. The whole PUA thing is gross. The "PUA community" deserves every jot of its bad reputation. It's actually more disturbing to learn that there's a "more mathematical" PUA rating system for women, as if it's any less objectifying and dehumanizing to assign women numerical values like they're livestock if one has to open Excel or whatever the fuck and run a few equations to determine a woman's worth. (NOTE: please don't take this as an invitation to further explain the rating system - just knowing it exists is plenty creepy as is, thank you)

Truth is, the most awkward guy in the word needs not attempt substituting peacock maneuvers for an actual presence and personality. Furthermore, women - tens or otherwise - need not be tricked or negged into believing that a guy who crossed the room to start a conversation with them somehow did this because he was not interested in them. None of this creepy game-playing shit is necessary in the slightest - the secret to talking to women is to just goddamn talk to some women as if they're, I don't know, human beings with thoughts and feelings that a guy shouldn't have to struggle to understand if he listens to them and keeps in mind that, whoa holy shit, he's a human being too. Hot damn, talk about having a lot in common! Awkward guys will find that genuine connections are much easier to make if they are genuine in their conduct and leave off running some weird smoke and mirrors program on the women they meet.

My objections to the whole PUA thing are many, but the worst thing about these notions is how they regard women not as regular people, but as these strange mystery creatures who must be misled with insults and distracted with incongruous nail polish or a big dumb hat or some damn thing. Living, breathing, complex people do not fit into algorithms. That's not how genuine human connections work.

Every time I see the whole PUA deal criticized, without fail an acolyte of the algorithm will come along to claim that the community is misunderstood. I believe that if someone regards the PUA philosophy as weird and sad and skeevy, then they understand it just fine.