1434: Fix It!
 

"I did research with my body!"

It would be interesting to see the poll if it had been setup:

Keith

Mathew from NZ

Hitler

I'm guessing Hitler might get more votes than Mathew.

How much would the child rapist lawyer's client have to pay if he ended up going to prison.

Don't be ridiculous. Hitler would have never let an outstanding debt reach $9 million, or whatever the equivalent would be in German Reichsmarks. And do you really think someone would be allowed to stay in a hospital after they owed $9 million under Hitler's reign? I'm pretty sure ol' Adolf had the means to put an end to a debtor far before a $9 million debt was reached.

I think we just said that Nazi Germany had better health care than America. I think that would be a ridiculous statement except if a Nazi saw what that hospital is charging that poor girls family they'd say "hey, that's crossing a line guys. Jesus Christ... Oh, her family was Jewish? Carry on".

Hitler made the trains run on time, too. But, I think I'll choose overinflated health care costs and tardy public transit over genocide.

I agree the 9mil may have been an inflated figure for a defensive move. But let me explain my point:

Suppose we get a system where doctors only get paid for illnesses they cure. That won't decrease the operating costs, so whatever the expenses are will remain. They'll have to cover these expenses by increasing the prices, so people who are cured will have to pay more money than they're paying now, to cover the expenses of treating all the patients who the doctors didn't help.

Very soon, the hospitals will realize that some illnesss are not worth curing. For example, if Demyelinating Neuropathy has a very low success rate, and say only 10% of the people who have it survive, then if the cost is 9mil per patient, the survivors will have to pay 90 million. Obviously nobody'll pay, and so it won't make sense for the hospital to have the necessary equipment and staff. So they'll refer these patients to another hospital, until that hospital also catches on that it's an unprofitable illness to attempt to cure, and very soon nobody will attempt to treat that condition.

Certain cancers have 50% survival rates, that means the costs to survivors will double. Again, since less people will be able to pay this huge rate increase, hospitals will either have to increase the fees further (to pay for collections agencies costs, legal fees, and uncollected claims) or just not treat those cancers altogether.

And now since each patient carries an uncertainty about whether or not the hospital will be paid for attempting treatment, the hospital will require a certain percent increase to cover the cost of this risk (maybe an extra 1-5%). Add in scumbags who'll sue to try to get out of paying ("I got a hip replacement surgery, but I can't run like I used to and I have a scar, that's not successful treatment") which will further increase legal costs.

What about if in between treatment sessions, the patient gets hit by a car and dies. What if they treat one condition, but the patient contracts another while at the hospital that the hospital can't cure?

Plus HMOs will find some way to fuck you on this, so you can expect even further cost increases.

In conclusion, what will happen is a tradeoff between increased service quality at the expense of increased costs and more hospitals refusing treatment. If you want better service at a higher price, you can already go to a better hospital.

- Matthew from NZ

Oh Hitler.

The $9million is definitely legal maneuvering. This becomes apparent when you first consider this is pretty much the largest sum anyone has ever heard of (and in true douche fashion the author contacted Guiness to see if it broke a world record, but Guiness doesn't have a category for largest medical bill, which is unfortunate because Keith would easily be on his way to breaking his first record, as the cost to treat his ear will soon eclipse the $9million mark) and secondly you see the mom has accused the hospital of not doing the little things in the treatment of her daughter...like, say, feeding her. I'm guessing about 30 seconds after the mom first made this accusation, the legal papers were drawn up.The hospital knows this sum is bullshit as they're only entitled to what the insurance wouldn't cover, which I highly doubt is $9million... or maybe the sum is legit and it's just some Obamacare thing. I don't know.

What makes this story even worse is the mom. Why would any mom keep her kid at a place she thought wasn't feeding her, to the extent of refusing to move her to other facilities that would take her (which probably proves she had insurance), deny the hosptial's attempts to discharge her (repeated attempts), and firing any doctors that tried since she was her daughters medical proxy (which the court removed her from eventually for unspecified reasons)? Basically, the more you look at it, the more it seems to be a pissing match between the hospital and the mother over who would dictate care and who got what money, as the daughter slowly died. This isn't the case of a hospital just trying to recoup lost monies to survive, it's the case of them trying to stick it to the mom (they never billed her, they only filed suit) who may or may not be an asshole (I wonder her reason for rejecting the hospitals plans for treatment) in such a grand way that they may as well have written under dollar amount sought "Fuck You".

That's kind of the thing I took from all this, doctors and hospitals being condescending dickheada who could really give a fuck about a given person. The loser in this is the daughter, as the people who should have been focused on helping her bickered over who had the bigger dick.

Is the white fuzz cheese Brie? Because that's a delicious cheese and the white mold is eaten. Though it's common enough that I'd expect all NYCers to have tasted it.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/218/5...5baa161a58.jpg

That reminds me, I gotta pick up some brie next time I'm food shopping.

Clown Monday
 

Only 2 minutes in and having flashbacks to old Clown Monday episodes. Only difference is that Keith doesn't sound hammered now.