149: Want Some Candy?

[Frosty]

There's a wrestler on the indy scene that goes by the name of Jimmy Jacobs and his entrance music is the theme song to the transformers movie.

"You have the touch! You have the power!"

He also yells out during his match "I have the POWER!!"

[Darrell]

Lets post a new thread about the break up voicemails. Let's hear these crazy bitches...

[mcd007]

Preach it, Brother Keith and Sister Chemda. Sarah Jessica Parker not using the word "fat" is mental. Go to the CDC website and check out the leading causes of death. Top of the list? Heart disease. How do you weaken your heart by putting un-natural stress on it and thus causing heart disease? By being a fat fuck.

I'll admit it... I'm fat. But not nearly as fat as I used to be and the pounds are still dropping. And it's saving my life.

If cigarettes kill and we can run TV commercials about it, why not "fat kills" commercials? More people die from being fat than from smoking. But no, we can't run "fat kills" commercials because people are too sensitive about being fat. It's retarded. Sorry to offend you, but you are FAT and it's KILLING YOU. Stop pretending that it's ok to be fat. KatG are exactly right. It's not ok.

[lat]

Originally Posted by Fluffy

I must not buy it. I would take the Matrix to work and when some assholes come up to me and try speaking like intelligent beings, I'd pull it out of my pocket and try to open it screaming 'Light our darkest hour, Damnit!'

And there'd be this narly Guitar Solo soundtrack in the background...

[cognitiveg]

Originally Posted by lat

I got an Optimus Prime for Christmas when I was 8. It was like the greatest day of my life! Look at Keith's Optimus http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgur...icial%26sa%3DN
How bad do you fuckin want that thing!?

Oh man did that bring back memmories, I forgot that I ever had that when I was a kid untill I saw the picture and then it all came flooding back to me!

ahhh yes the memories

[rellek]

Originally Posted by mcd007

If cigarettes kill and we can run TV commercials about it, why not "fat kills" commercials?

Why not fat kills commercials? Because the fatties have convinced everyone that being fat is an unfortunate affliction and not a self-control issue.

What really grinds my gears is the fact that fat people are often rewarded for their ample proportions. If your a fat fucker because you eat too much you don't deserve the same handicapped status as someone who can't walk or shits themselves. When I see some wide load parking a car in a handicap space curbside I have to fight back many negative instincts. Let me get this straight, your fat so you get to walk the shortest distance? Fuck that! I say if your fat you get mandatory parking farthest from where your going so your forced to walk some weight off. In my neighborhood these handicap parking signs are spreading faster than herpes, and do you see any wheelchairs or twisted limbs...nope, just round people not wanting to sweat a little.
Another thing that gets me is when fat people complain about having to purchase more than one ticket to be seated on a plain or movie because their asses cant fit into a human-sized seat. Not only should these people pay for the extra seats, they should also pay for spacer seats, nobody wants to sit next to these sweaty monsters and nobody should have to.
Does this sound cruel, I dont care. When you no longer resemble a human, you cant expect to be treated like one.

[mcd007]

Keith, go rent Deer Hunter right now. Fucking amazing movie. Amazing.

[teerts]

Originally Posted by lat

I got an Optimus Prime for Christmas when I was 8. It was like the greatest day of my life! Look at Keith's Optimus http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgur...icial%26sa%3DN
How bad do you fuckin want that thing!?

that is pretty fuckin cool. mine was much less shiny and much more scuffed
when i was small. my parents made me give away all my toys before moving
to pennsylvania. what a rude thing to do to a 9~10 year old...

[Mike C]

Originally Posted by rossnicoll

How come in the all the pictures keith is naked but Chemda isnt? i wanna see some titties!

OK, you asked for it. But we had to be fair to both genders...http://www.keithandthegirl.com/forum...mentid=9&stc=1

[LD]

That picture of Keith's penis reminds of what mine looked like back in the masturbation thread story.

But anyway, I would like to see The Keith and the Girl Roadshow.

Instead of flying to the Podcast Expo, they drive and do a new show every day from a different location on the way there. Bars, comedy clubs, jail cells etc. maybe invite audiences along. They could either stay at hotels or in the guest rooms of loyal listeners along the way.

Ignoring all the factors like money, time off, duration of journey, too much effort etc.

All I'm saying is, if that fat guy can walk across America to lose weight this should be a piece of cheescake.