1498: Since Time Vegan
 

"I'm the best! Fuck you!"


Official Site of Comedian Myq Kaplan

great show
 

thanks for the read today.. you guys are dope!

If we are talking pure batting averages, Chemda is, on average, right more times than Keith. I find that Chemda is usually able to step outside herself and forget her biases and look at and understand a situation from another persons perspective. Sometimes that perspective is still a little skewed, but it seems that the act of stepping outside herself is usually enough to come to a well thought out conclusion. That isn't to say Keith is closed minded, but he seems to have a very binary way of thinking. Which leads to some hilariously off statements. Not to mention a lot of times Keith's actions are totally contradictory to his, for lack of a better word, beliefs. Or at least what I can infer about his beliefs as a listener. For example; based on past shows how would most listeners guess Keith would feel if he heard a story about someone not just skipping out on a tip, but actually skipping out of a bill because their waiter was rude? But yet he doesn't understand why listeners weren't for him skipping out on the taxi driver? But don't worry, I still love you both equally.

Speaking of thinking logically, I think the fact that Myq comes off as such a logical person sort of contradicts the image of what most people have in their minds of what a person who is into open relationships is. I know it does for me. So when he brings up the idea of an open relationship, I'm sure most women don't take it seriously cause what he is suggesting isn't really congruent with how he is acting and with that, problems ensue.

For the record, I've skipped out on full restaurant bills before, blatantly and otherwise. If you're being called stupid or being made fun of repeatedly, it's okay if you leave the establishment you promised to pay at with all your cash. I understand if that mentality seems very rogue. I like to stand up for myself, even if it means sneaking off.

awesome VS awesome
 

It would be impossible to vote for either Chemda OR Keith because it seems Keith is playing a 'character' of himself where he does and says shit that comedians do - ultimately to get a reaction. I mean, he does know that he's being a goof-bag-ball w/ a dash of douche-baggery biscuit sauce, right?
You know what? Fuck it. I'm puttin' down the 'Team Both of 'Em' banner on this one: let's go w/ Chemda. Just to play it safe.

I feel like Keith would make a very convincing lawyer.

i really have an issue with pedophilia being called a "disease".

A disease = something independent of the person's will that can be cured

its a sexual orientation, only its violent, destructive and illegal. Cannot be cured or reversed. Onlòy way is to wipe it out. as long as we keep calling pedophiles "sick", we just give them an excuse.

I laughed out loud when Keith was talking about playing scrabble with the 176 year old scrabble playing woman - "That's not how you spell 'cheese', C-H-E-E-checker piece!"

Always love hearing Myq on the show too. That dude is a sunshine of my life.

I know, I kept picturing her sitting with some scrabble letters, a piece of string, one of her teeth, a penny and some lint.

I voted against Keith running out on the cab simply because the cabbie didn't do anything wrong. I understand that it was the end of a shitty time of being taken advantage of and would have fully supported him taking the bathroom guy's tip jar and running out of the place, but now he has just ruined that cabbie's night and that guy will now go ruin someone else's.

I used to believe that every time you did anything that cost money, you paid it. But I am fully getting behind Keith's idea of payment is closing out a contract. If you have bad food or bad service, why should you HAVE to pay? KATG has definitely helped me become less of a doormat, and I'm in Minnesota where passive aggressive is the lifestyle.

There was a guy talking about foreclosures on NPR in a similar way as well. Letting the bank forclose on your house doens't mean you failed and have ruined society, you are simply breaking a contract and paying the price of that. Both parties walk away. You haven't done a prisonable offense, you have simply made an educated decision to break a contract. There is nothing ethical or unethical about it.

[QUOTE=Junkenstein;716995]i really have an issue with pedophilia being called a "disease".



its a sexual orientation QUOTE]

Agreed. It's a sad reality. They're the equivelant of a human-predator-virus that keeps infecting others.

It's a rough call, (considering many are a part of somebody's family) but until the gene that causes it or whatever is found - Kill. Em. All.

Hey that sounds like a good album...

Greetings!
Logical person here, reporting that some of your statements seem illogical!
(But also, thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts.)
If it's true that most women don't take it seriously (which in my experience has not been the case--I have only really been espousing this ideology for a couple girlfriends' worth of time, and both of them did take me seriously, whether or not they were on the same page--they at least knew what book I was reading), I'm interested in connecting with people who DO. Or are. Or whatever verb I left off on.
I don't need everyone to be on board, just the right ones.
If someone wants to be with me but doesn't want to listen to what I'm saying about what I believe, think, and desire, I don't know if that's a right person for me.
One other item--it's my assessment that some degree of openness is the MOST logical thing, certainly for me, and also for many others (whether they believe or want it or not), so I don't see my thoughts, actions, and presentation as incongruent.
PS In what way is how I'm acting incongruent, in your opinion? I feel as though I'm acting just like what I'm saying. Talking about making out with people, actually making with people, etc.
PPS Want to make out? (Thanks again regardless!)

Just to play devil's advocate, not all diseases are curable.
And some mental diseases make people do things that they wouldn't want to do if they didn't have the diseases, so declaring something independent of one's will seems more challenging to me than you imply, I think.

Not that I think categorizing pedophilia as an undesirable sexual orientation is a negative thing, just that I think it's useful to recognize that there is a component of it that IS out of one's control (namely, the thoughts and urges, as opposed to the controllable actions)... there are people out there who have the urges and do not act (Dan Savage calls them gold-star pedophiles), who don't generally speak up about it (because no one's going to give them a medal probably), but they probably feel like they're suffering with an incurable disease. So I think that's a useful framework to have in mind as well.

Awww.
Thank you! You're a source of sunshine in my life as well. Second only to the sun, let's say. But it's not a competition.

Good work, everyone! Especially gold-star pedophiles out there. You're doing it! (By not doing it.)

Chaos? Keith.

Order? Chemda.

That's how I've always pictured it.

Cabbie kerfuffle
 

If Keith had told the cabbie that he was being an asshole before running, that would have potentially worked. Now the cabbie is likely to be even more of an ass-hat, because he will only remember that a customer did a drive'n'dash, not that he might have caused it himself.

Same with the old lady's phone Keith dumped in a trashcan - had he told her "you are a rude cow and now you'll have to dig in the trash as a consequence. Behave!" that would have been great - now she will likely forget her own role in the matter and only remember the "psycho" who stole her phone.

I've ditched a driver in a similar manner in Chicago, only I was too drunk, and I was let off in front of my hotel (easily found). I like the way Keith did it: well though out escape plan. I admire that. In the future, I'll prolly just skip a tip.

You can't save everybody, some people you can only help keep down.

That's the thing, I don't think you are actually acting in-congruent in anyway. Its just you don't fit into my and I would guess most peoples stereotype of what a person that is into open relationships is. Its totally my own perceptions, not yours that create the seeming in-congruence. I picture open relationship people as more "free-wheeling" or "hippy-dippy". Although you are a professional artist who is also a vegan. So that is about as free-wheeling, hippy-dippy as you can get, I guess... so... uh... carry on.

[QUOTE=Enunciated Piffle;717005]Isn't it also a learned behavior. Like if your dad molests you as a kid you might do the same when you're an adult? I know for some people it is in their DNA, but for others it is a learned compulsion or even a psychosis.

Thanks!
Happy to not be stereotypical, and to help you shift your perceptions.
Whee!

You mean if your sitter molests you.

If your dad's doing it, it's in your DNA.

King Kong Malley would be a great name for a boxer or wrestler.

Hmmmmm
 

"It would be impossible to vote for either Chemda OR Keith because it seems Keith is playing a 'character' of himself where he does and says shit that comedians do - ultimately to get a reaction. I mean, he does know that he's being a goof-bag-ball w/ a dash of douche-baggery biscuit sauce, right?"


But what if Keith isn't "playing a character"??:confused:

Does Chemda win the poll then? Even goof-bag-ball's get things right sometimes, no?

[QUOTE=Enunciated Piffle;717005]Or keep them in institutions? If it is genetic (and I think it probably is) then isn’t it an unfair tragedy? It’s a terrible situation for all involved.

All I know is I love them both.

[QUOTE=albi;717188]Life isn't fair, what's new?

[QUOTE=Enunciated Piffle;717195]Very true.

I tend to take Chemda's side while she's rationalizing crazy, but then Keith throws in something like "Your Honor, there's a pile of shit on my back!" and I'm like, oh shit you're right Keith. Duh.

For this reason I'd argue that Chemda might be a better child rapist's lawyer and Keith would be the better prosecutor.

No offense Chemda, I know you would never defend a child rapist.

BTW people, I decided that since I never heard the first 1400 episodes I would go back and start from the beginning now that I got my VIP. I recently learned about the origins of FUUUUUCCCCK YOoooouuuuuu!!!

I never got my introductory FU and that makes me sad. :(

Fuck you.

Or a butt plug. Either/Or.

Ahhh, now I'm a real member.

:)

I can't believe I didn't think of this at the time, but I was re-listening to this and Myq said that he hasn't seen a cent of Copyright infringement money.

Well... That's obvious. You have to smell a scent.

Copyright Myq Kaplan.

Are you saying that you owe me money now? And if you don't pay, you stink?

Thanks!