Latest Episode
Play

Go Back   Keith and The Girl Forums Keith and The Girl Forums Show Talk

Show Talk Talk about the show

View Poll Results: Are you or were you bullied?
Yes 143 76.88%
No 43 23.12%
Voters: 186. You may not vote on this poll

Like Tree7Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-07-2012, 10:38 AM   #21 (permalink)
Senior Member
54-hour Marathon 2013 Kickstarter Backer
 
sklXbns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 166
Yes, this is a very long post, but I promise the content is very useful. If nothing else, just soak in the "Field Sobriety Test" bit. The information there could save you from being made to fail the test.


It was about 1:30 AM this January 28 when I was driving back home and I passed by two police cars parked parallel to the road I was driving on. Both cars were facing the road with their headlights on. As I passed them, I looked in my mirrors and saw them start to follow me. It was at that very second I decided that I would not be bullied.

I was sober, I wasn't speeding or breaking any other laws, and all my car's paperwork was up to date. I had the upper hand. This was my chance to stand up for myself.

As they continued to follow me, I made a couple of lane-changes to split up these top cops so that one was behind me and the other was beside me. (Admittedly, I did that just to be annoying.) Once that happened, I pulled into a parking lot and backed in so that the building was behind me. I wasn't going to let them pull in behind me and have any advantage of doing things where I couldn't see them. For 15-20 minutes, I watched as three black-and-whites circled behind buildings, drove by, and surveyed the area where I was parked. During that time, I devised my plan of action and gathered all the documents the cops were going to ask for.

As I'm typing this, I can feel my heart racing and my palms are as clammy as when I first asked a girl on a date. Also, I can feel slight tremors throughout by body. While all of this was happening, what I'm experiencing now was multiplied by 100.

When the three cop cars surrounded me, I waited for an officer to approach. When one did, I rolled down the window about 2 inches and slid my documents through the narrow opening. He asked me if I could lower the window further, and I asked him if he could hear me. He replied that he could, so I said the window is down far enough. His follow up question was to find out if there was a reason why I didn't roll the window down more. I asked him if I actually had to lower it more and, of course, he said I wasn't required to do so. All of this happened on the passenger's side of the car. Another cop came to the driver's side window and I lowered the window the same amount as the other side and went through the same line of questioning as I did with the first window. Now, it may seem like I'm being an asshole or deliberately difficult, but that wasn't the case. I kept the windows raised because when the officers try to shine their flashlights into my car or my eyes, the light just reflects off the window glass. I didn't have anything to hide, but I don't like having a blinding light aimed at my eyes.

When I was questioned as to what I was doing, I replied that I was sitting in my car. They wanted to know why I was there and I asked if I was allowed to be in this parking lot. Sure, I wasn't being cooperative. The protocol is to have the person in question talk as much as possible so the officer can gauge if the individual is under the influence as well as to have the individual offer up incriminating information. Because of lowering my windows a few inches and also for all of my answers being very short, I was asked to step out of my car. I did and the questioning continued. One officer commented that it was odd that I was in a parking lot at 2:00 AM. A few minutes later, I yawned and he perked up and asked why I was yawning. I reminded him that he just told me it was 2 in the morning. He then explained that people under the influence yadda, yadda, yadda. When asked if I had any drugs or weapons in the car, I said that I didn't. When asked if they could search the car, I said they were not allowed. One officer's reply was, "If you don't have any weapons or drugs in your car, why won't you let us search it?"

He said he was going to get a K-9 unit if I didn't consent to the search. He said that it would take a while and it would be much faster for me to allow a search. I said, "If you're going to waste my time, I'm going to waste yours."

No dog came even after he said something into his radio. To be honest, I doubt he actually radioed for a K-9 unit.

THE FIELD SOBRIETY TEST

Before taking the field sobriety test, I asked to take a breathalyzer exam due to it being 25º and windy. None of the officers had a breathalyzer unit but I was given the option to have my car towed and impounded and I could take a blood-alchohol content test at the county jail. I expressed that option was not the most favorable in my opinion.

The first test was the eye movement exam. With the temperature being as cold as it was as well as it being windy, I verbally announced each time that either my eyes were either hurting or watering and I was going to blink. I said all of this loudly and clearly just in case all of this was being recorded. It was during this exam that I realized something that everyone should know about this test: sober people will fail this exam. In the time it took for this officer to administer this test, I could have performed a full neurological exam on a patient which would determine any eye or brain dysfunction. This cop was trying to fatigue my ocular muscles. Due to how small those muscles are, fatigue happens rapidly. Once I noticed what he was doing, I asked him, "Did you see the saccades?"

"What?", was his reply.

I looked away from his finger and looked him square in his eyes and said, "Did you see my eyes jumping?" and made a jumping forward motion with my hand similar to a karate chop. After a moment of silence, I said, "Then, you're done." And guess what. He was done giving the test. Following that, he spout off in a rapid fire manner the instructions to the "walk the line" test. Had the instructions been simply to walk the yellow line using a heel-to-toe style, that would have been fine. But, the instructions were made much more complicated than that. So, to clarify, I repeated the instruction as I understood them. He explained to me that he wasn't going to repeat them. I also noted that I was very cold and was noticeably shivering and that would have and effect on my performance. (To be honest, I wasn't just shaking due to the cold. I was beyond nervous because I had never stood up for myself to someone with such high authority.) It's worth noting that by now, he knew I was a doctor. He told me that the cold has nothing to do with my performance. I retorted with, "Do you want to talk physiology with me?" Surprisingly, he did not. Furthermore, he questioned me as to if I was refusing do to the test. Of course, I said I wasn't refusing the test, I just wanted to do the test properly. Well, I wound up not having to perform the test and instead was handcuffed and escorted to the back of a police car.

After a discussion amongst themselves, I was told by one officer that he did notice a few times I slurred my speech, but he believes that I hadn't been drinking. Honestly, in my head, I actually heard Keith saying, "A-duh!". After I was let out of the car and the cuffs were removed, the officers were trying to justify why they had questioned me. Their reason for all of this is that it was suspicious that I would just be sitting in a parking lot at 2 in the morning. I had no problems telling them that all of this started when two patrol cars starting following me for no real reason and not because I was in a parking lot.

I'm an adult and I will not be bullied ever again.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 10:45 AM   #22 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
scottperezfox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 384
Joffrey is the ultimate bully-bitch.

(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 10:51 AM   #23 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Black Bart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blitzgal View Post
. . . . tried to friend me on Facebook.
I joined FB for about a year and eventually quit it. It was amazing that "all was forgotten" seemed to be the rule of thumb there. Very strange in some ways.

As for the bullying . . .

In HS I was a jock/gleek. 6' 4" 184 lbs in my senior year cpt of the b-ball team but also sang in the choir. I also liked certain things that made you a target _ D&D

Lucky me, . . . I got "attention" from certain characters due to this. They were called 'the derelicts' in my school.

Late 70's and early 80's were a 'fun' time in Rockland County

Now @ 6' 5" 215 lbs, I would love to have a time machine to go back . . .

in many ways Keith has it dead on to end the bullying . . . but you have to have the ability to back it up.


I also defend my statement about that it starts at home . . . you don't know what goes on behind closed doors at someone's house regardless of what the public image is. trust me, I know.

Last edited by Black Bart; 03-07-2012 at 11:03 AM.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 10:55 AM   #24 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Black Bart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dominic View Post
Does that excuse their behaviour? Or should their targets learn to be social workers so they can empathize with the bully?

Or are you just playing devil's advocate? What is it Keith calls those...?
Neither - just pointing out the reality.

I think if a child is bullied, a parent has every right to go to that child's parent and crack their skull open. I am sure bullying would end pretty quickly in schools if that was legal.

Hope this clears up my comment.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 11:33 AM   #25 (permalink)
Member
 
operababe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 89
In elementry school I was bullied by the boys in my grade (mainly destroying my belongings) and I bottled up my anger and used it to bully girlsl in the grade below me.

I don't think I was too bad, mainly I called this one girl Gorilla Face (she seriously did look like a gorilla). It still bothers me that I harassed her like that though. The guys who used to bug me, are now bouncers at dive bars in my home town.

In high school I too was a gleek and ended up hanging around with mostly older kids from the Musicals and Students Council. Actually, in my grade nine year the senior boys made a list of all the freshmen girls and gave them all demeaning titles (example: fattest grade nine, sluttiest, ugliest). I wasn't even on the list
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 12:41 PM   #26 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Dominic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Bart View Post
I think if a child is bullied, a parent has every right to go to that child's parent and crack their skull open. I am sure bullying would end pretty quickly in schools if that was legal.

Hope this clears up my comment.
Sort of...
But I'm not sure that this would solve anything either. That just spreads the aggression. In Aikido, they'd teach you that aggression needs to be either redirected or directed back on itself.
Fortunately, mature people have better methods than physical violence to deal with problems, but kids can't operate on that level, generally. Non-violent response is always preferable, but when words won't work, a person needs to be able to return aggression to the point where it prevents further attacks. Smacking some kid's parent is not going to help anybody and if, as you say, the bully is having problems at home, it's likely only going to make the situation worse. Better, I think, to teach the bully that their intended target is not going to accept the role of victim.
__________________
www.paladinfreelance.com
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 01:08 PM   #27 (permalink)
Official KATG Fucktard Club
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 477
I got some criticism at one point for replying to an "it gets better" type thread on the forums. I said that for some people, it doesn't get better, and I'm sticking to that point. Sure, the world may back off a bit when you grow up, but people find new ways to shit on you, and some people are already so damaged from childhood that their adult lives are just as bad.

Part of the reason bullying needs to be curbed is that it's leading to broken adults. It can only get better if you aren't so fucked up in the first place.

EDIT: And Keith is right. Kids need to stop being taught that hitting is wrong. I'd be a healthier person today if I'd learned to fight as a kid.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 01:30 PM   #28 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Blitzgal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 3,294
Schools should also take bullying far more seriously than they do -- and not with some stupid, one size fits all "zero tolerance" bullshit. Kids are like any other people. They can be amazingly generous and kind, but they can also be malicious little shits. It's not just "boys being boys" when kids get systematically harassed and abused by their peers.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 01:35 PM   #29 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
HeyAnne's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Western CT
Posts: 182
I almost had to skip the whole section of the show about that movie and the following discussion - hits to close to home.

My oldest son, who is now 15 has been bullyed by the same kid since 2nd grade. This all happened on the school bus. The bully is the same age and and grade as my son so they are forever (until graduation or until someone moves) going to be on the same bus.

We have gone to the schools and complained - it did nothing. Then to stop it they reserved a seat on the bus for my son, right behind the driver to keep them separated. Way to make my kid stick out even more. We took him off the bus and have been driving him to school ever since middle school.

I know this kid, MATT, and I know his dad is a real zipper head. I know that his behavior starts at home but it still pisses me off so much that I want to punch the kid myself. Every time I run into his mother, I want to punch her too.


I have told my son so many times that he should just punch the kid and would stand up for him to the school. I have basically told him the same thing that Keith suggests and that it will never stop unless you stick up for yourself.

The school system here has a big anti bully program and just yesterday I noticed "are you a bully?" posters in the elementary school. The posters have a huge photo of a kid grabbing a smaller kid by the collar. How the kindergartners are going to get an anti bullying message from that with not being able to read the poster I dont know. I guess the school thinks it is going to help.


One more thing -- the school buses here all have cameras on them -- is it possible that the footage for that movie came from one of the bus cameras? I did see the trailer for the movie but looked away real quick and tried to get the images out of my head ever since, so I am not going to look at it again to figure that out.
__________________
www.CarefreeGlimmer.Etsy.Com
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2012, 03:54 PM   #30 (permalink)
Senior Member
54-hour Marathon 2013 Kickstarter Backer
 
Junkenstein's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern Italy (No Guidos Here)
Posts: 6,784
yes i got bullied but the real shitty part is when parents or teachers tell you "its part of growing up".

PS: not to spoil but the bully movie is about a kid who kills himself. that kid commited suicide. so no, ity didnt help shit.

PS: also the really horrifying thing about the school days was how the teachers, at least some, were on the buylly's side. there was one that actually incited bullying, gym guy. it was a form pof disciplien in his head.

Last edited by Junkenstein; 03-07-2012 at 04:00 PM.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:00 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
Keith and The GirlAd Management plugin by RedTyger