1624: Funny and Die

[Keith]

"I hope everybody understands why I said that. Please don't put that online."


Official Site of Comedian Myq Kaplan

[WSEIII]

Maybe Delta airlines should run their food though a metal detector.

Great show guys and girl

[Sashi]

Loved this show. Really funny. Chemda was on fire.

[Daemonik]

*sigh*

Really? Hey, Keith, why don't you put on your big girl pants and just admit that you're a food snob and can't enjoy a meal outside of NY and the ring of pretentious doucheries that cater to your weirdness?

God I am sick of hearing you all cluck about how we're all going to die eating shit food. Guess what! Death called, he confirmed you've all got appointments with him too, assholes. Steve Jobs was a skinny motherfucker, he's still FUCKING DEAD. Will some of us pass from this mortal coil with Big Mac sauce on our chins? Yep, AND A GODDAMN SMILE.

You have to live with our fat asses around you? Well we have to live with judgemental fucks touting their nutritional foodoo (like that? just invented a word \o/) like they're the worst kind of religious fanatics and carbs are the tools of Satan.

Speaking of carbs.. Chemda.. why don't you just say you're jealous of how those Ethiopians can avoid carbs and stay so slim? The fucking mashed potatos are being sold in Singapore, they MIGHT have a different food culture than we do. They MIGHT eat these potatos about as often as we would eat, for instance, Thai food. It's a junkfood splurge, not something they're eating every day.

Those are instant potatos btw, they firm up pretty fast as they get reconstituted. The only thing Maggi did was make a machine to mix them with hot water and pour on some gravy. OMG, those assholes, how dare they.

Also again with the soda rots your teeth bullshit from you "adults".. do you fucking sit around all day with a mouthfull of soda swishing it around your teeth?? Cause us normal people swallow (hehe), it maaaaybe touches our teeth for 3 seconds tops and is no worse than the acid/sugar in Orange Juice. But do you freak out about Orange Juice? Fuck no, cause you didn't grow up with your mom telling you juice would rot your fucking teeth. So congrats on becoming your mothers I guess?

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by Daemonik

put on your big girl pants and just admit that you're a food snob

Ah, the old "only chicks eat healthy" canard. Vegetables make your penis shrivel up, and all that shit.

I Am Man Hear Me Roar! - YouTube

*Also, the guy who made up Bane is a rightwinger. Limbaugh is a fucktard.

[Daemonik]

Originally Posted by Blitzgal

Ah, the old "only chicks eat healthy" canard. Vegetables make your penis shrivel up, and all that shit.

I was saying Keith is a whiny little bitch, not that veggies are for gurls. But whatever, next time I'll send you a detailed and annotated memo so you don't get your panties in a wad.

[JSZilla]

Yay, it's Kaplan!

[myq]

Originally Posted by WSEIII

Great show guys and girl

I'm one of those people! Thanks!

Originally Posted by Sashi

Loved this show. Really funny. Chemda was on fire.

She was! Glad I didn't put out that fire! Thanks for your loving!

Originally Posted by Blitzgal

*Also, the guy who made up Bane is a rightwinger. Limbaugh is a fucktard.

In addition to the fact that the word "bane" already existed in the phrase "bane of my existence," meaning the worst thing in my life, when the company was named.

PS Do people who don't like the use of the word "retarded" have a problem with "fucktard"?

Originally Posted by Daemonik

I was saying Keith is a whiny little bitch, not that veggies are for gurls.

Was he whining? Weren't we all just saying that the food looked gross like a robot bodily function and not at all like mashed potatoes normally appear? And that mashed potatoes aren't that hard to come by in a less gross-appearing form?

Are you a stockholder is Gross Potato Machine, Inc.?

PS Thanks for listening!

Originally Posted by JSZilla

Yay, it's Kaplan!

Yay, it's a nice comment!

Thanks everyone! A fun time as usual!

[Carruthers]

Originally Posted by Daemonik

*sigh* ... I'm still alive.

And still listening.

[Daemonik]

Originally Posted by myq

Was he whining? Weren't we all just saying that the food looked gross like a robot bodily function and not at all like mashed potatoes normally appear? And that mashed potatoes aren't that hard to come by in a less gross-appearing form?

Are you a stockholder is Gross Potato Machine, Inc.?

Yes, he was whining.

Lots of foods look kind of gross when you're preparing them, so what if the end result is delicious?

You do a lot of potato shopping in Singapore? Just because potatoes are a staple food in the US doesn't mean they're everywhere. Even here instant mashed potatoes are pretty common and we have fresh potatoes in most grocery stores.

What this boils down to is you're jealous that you can't get tofu patties and tofuquito's off the 7-11 rotisseries isn't it.

By the way, who do vegetarians always try to make tofu taste like meat, then pretend it tastes that way magically and that the lab that came up with it is morally superior to the lab that created my instant potatoes & gravy machine?