1813: I'll Let You Go

[mcbane89]

I've been enjoying quite a bit the discussion of the fan who ran onto the field during the MLB All Star game, as I am also someone who loves it when an idiot runs on the field and gets crushed by players, umps/refs, or security. I mean, how could you not love this dummy running on the field during a Phillies game and getting tasered by a security guard:

http://http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VqtPUhYdz6M

Hilarious.

I was a little surprised however that Keith couldn't think of any incidents of fans who ran onto the field during a football game and got mistaken for a tackling dummy, instead of just a regular dummy, because it happens quite a bit. One of the most recent ones even involved his Steelers where a drunk Browns fan (which seems redundant) got picked up, dropped on his head, and sat on by James Harrison:

http://http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fC3xNSiRTDc

There are tons of these on YouTube. Generally speaking though the best fan pummeling incidents usually happen in baseball. This is for a variety of reasons; there are more games, the fans have access right to the field with less security, the players and umps generally look less imposing, and the pace of the games tend to be slower (or as I'm sure many people will call it "Bo-ring! Do something you queers"!) causing inebriated morons with ADD to attempt something stupid and "succeed" spectacularly. Like here in what may be my favorite fan incident of all time:

In 2003 during a Chicago White Sox - Kansas City Royals game a lunatic fan hopped the railing in right field and tried to attack the umpire stationed there. So far this is a pretty normal level of stupid, however there were two factors that would make this decision on par with trusting Courtney Love to be your drug mule. Sure things technically went to plan, i mean the drugs still got inside her and the fan managed to get a free shot a the umpire, but it doesnt take any hindsight to reallze what a horrible decision's been made.

The first was that the previous time that season the Royals had come to Chicago a father-son duo of fans, most likely bolstered by family comraderie and methamphetamines, ran out of the stands and attacked the Royals first base coach, beating him badly enough before help arrived that the coach lost hearing in his right ear. It was a scary, horrifying, and senseless incident that shook both teams, with the only bright side being the attackers called it their nicest family reunion to date. Needless to say though the Royals were on edge for their first game back in Chicago, and looking for any excuse to beat someone's ass.

The second reason was that Laz Diaz, the umpire this numbnuts chose to attack, was only 40 years old, which is relatively young for an umpire, in good shape, and, oh yeah, a former United States Marine. This was basically the equivalent of waiting until the random person you've targeted walks into a police station before attempting to sucker punch them, and then finding out the person you're trying to sucker punch is Steven Segal.

As soon as the fan made contact Diaz immediately spun around, hip tossed him to the ground, and was getting ready to rip his throat out his asshole when the Royals players, who had been like a time bomb waiting to go off, noticed the incident and collectively channeled their inner Hulk SMASH! rage and somehow beat Diaz to the punch, rushing out of the dugout and off the field to put on an impromptu production of American History X in the park, with all 25 Royals simultaneously playing the Ed Norton character. No team in pro sports history were ever as in sync as this Kansas City team was while attempting the remarkable feat of successfully curb stomping someone in a place completely devoid of curbs. Somehow this poor bastard escaped with only minor injuries when the security guards finally stopped laughing and broke up the melee. I think this has to do with the players focusing on the least critical part of the fans body, his head, and not doing the smart thing and trying to stomp on his genitals which, unfortunately, I'm sure work perfectly fine.

[DJQuad]

Originally Posted by mcbane89

I've been enjoying quite a bit the discussion of the fan who ran onto the field during the MLB All Star game, as I am also someone who loves it when an idiot runs on the field and gets crushed by players, umps/refs, or security. I mean, how could you not love this dummy running on the field during a Phillies game and getting tasered by a security guard:

http://http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VqtPUhYdz6M

Hilarious.

I was a little surprised however that Keith couldn't think of any incidents of fans who ran onto the field during a football game and got mistaken for a tackling dummy, instead of just a regular dummy, because it happens quite a bit. One of the most recent ones even involved his Steelers where a drunk Browns fan (which seems redundant) got picked up, dropped on his head, and sat on by James Harrison:

http://http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fC3xNSiRTDc

There are tons of these on YouTube. Generally speaking though the best fan pummeling incidents usually happen in baseball. This is for a variety of reasons; there are more games, the fans have access right to the field with less security, the players and umps generally look less imposing, and the pace of the games tend to be slower (or as I'm sure many people will call it "Bo-ring! Do something you queers"!) causing inebriated morons with ADD to attempt something stupid and "succeed" spectacularly. Like here in what may be my favorite fan incident of all time:

In 2003 during a Chicago White Sox - Kansas City Royals game a lunatic fan hopped the railing in right field and tried to attack the umpire stationed there. So far this is a pretty normal level of stupid, however there were two factors that would make this decision on par with trusting Courtney Love to be your drug mule. Sure things technically went to plan, i mean the drugs still got inside her and the fan managed to get a free shot a the umpire, but it doesnt take any hindsight to reallze what a horrible decision's been made.

The first was that the previous time that season the Royals had come to Chicago a father-son duo of fans, most likely bolstered by family comraderie and methamphetamines, ran out of the stands and attacked the Royals first base coach, beating him badly enough before help arrived that the coach lost hearing in his right ear. It was a scary, horrifying, and senseless incident that shook both teams, with the only bright side being the attackers called it their nicest family reunion to date. Needless to say though the Royals were on edge for their first game back in Chicago, and looking for any excuse to beat someone's ass.

The second reason was that Laz Diaz, the umpire this numbnuts chose to attack, was only 40 years old, which is relatively young for an umpire, in good shape, and, oh yeah, a former United States Marine. This was basically the equivalent of waiting until the random person you've targeted walks into a police station before attempting to sucker punch them, and then finding out the person you're trying to sucker punch is Steven Segal.

As soon as the fan made contact Diaz immediately spun around, hip tossed him to the ground, and was getting ready to rip his throat out his asshole when the Royals players, who had been like a time bomb waiting to go off, noticed the incident and collectively channeled their inner Hulk SMASH! rage and somehow beat Diaz to the punch, rushing out of the dugout and off the field to put on an impromptu production of American History X in the park, with all 25 Royals simultaneously playing the Ed Norton character. No team in pro sports history were ever as in sync as this Kansas City team was while attempting the remarkable feat of successfully curb stomping someone in a place completely devoid of curbs. Somehow this poor bastard escaped with only minor injuries when the security guards finally stopped laughing and broke up the melee. I think this has to do with the players focusing on the least critical part of the fans body, his head, and not doing the smart thing and trying to stomp on his genitals which, unfortunately, I'm sure work perfectly fine.

What?