1840: Baby Talk

[Keith]

with Calise Hawkins

www.twitter.com/CaliseHawkins


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[Edward's Screen Name]

Since I'm choosing between just these three flavors, I'm going with vanilla because it's a superb vessel for even more, better flavors, like hot fudge, whipped cream, and cherries!

[Dean from Australia]

Good show all around.

This girl seemed really guarded to begin with but I felt she relaxed into the questioning and offered herself up more.

My daughter is a fiend for sticking things into power sockets, so much so that I reinvented a childhood monster my Dad used for me called "Shocko". I tell my daughter that Shocko lives in the power sockets, and if you piss him off, he will jump out of said socket and kill you.

I was given a golden opportunity to demonstrate this recently when our front loader decided to shit itself and, in an effort to avoid having to buy a new machine, my serioso and I tried to patch it up ourselves.

While frigging around with the electrical cable, neither of us realized that it was still plugged into the power and my serioso touched the exposed end of the cord.

There was blue sparks, both from the wall socket and the end where she touched it and there was smoke and burnt flesh.

All witnessed by my daughter.

A night in the hospital, serial ECGs and some tense clock watching later, we convinced Lucy that we were telling the truth and she declared that "Shocko is a cunt".

On another point, what is the thing I worry most about as a parent and, specifically, a father?

I have a daughter...

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by Dean from Australia

Good show all around.

This girl seemed really guarded to begin with but I felt she relaxed into the questioning and offered herself up more.

My feels exactly

Originally Posted by Dean from Australia

she declared that "Shocko is a cunt".

LMFAO

Definitely an Aussie girl




I also started out hating this nasally, defensive bitch of a guest.

I ended up really liking her, and respecting her as a mother. That last bit very rarely, and I mean rarely, happens.

She made me think about being a parent, and I am now even more glad I have decided not to have kids. I don't want the sort of bond she has with her kid, and it sounds like that's what you need to do the job properly.

The show climaxed with Keith's crack about Superman shitting his pants after he used his X-Ray vision. I took me about 5 mins to stop laughing at this one.

Great fucking show.

[lalalemon]

I really liked Calise. She was a little stiff at the top of the show, but by then end I was really enjoying her vibe. I hope we hear from her again!

I was really interested in the way she described her relationship with her daughter and being a parent. As someone who is very unsure about this whole having kids thing that people do, she made it seem not so horrible/scary and actually fun and rewarding. Like, I think she's doing it right because I'm pretty sure her kid isn't going to grow up into an asshole. Go Calise!

[Dean from Australia]

Originally Posted by Lord of the Cock Rings

Just for future reference, that's the FIRST thing we do when fucking with electrical appliances. Kill the circuit breaker too, just to be sure. Especially when ur dealing with 220V. That shit WILL kill you, not like our pussy American power.

Indeed - but what can I say. I'm a great nurse. Shithouse electrician.

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by Lord of the Cock Rings

Just for future reference, that's the FIRST thing we do when fucking with electrical appliances. Kill the circuit breaker too, just to be sure. Especially when ur dealing with 220V. That shit WILL kill you, not like our pussy American power.

I've heard that it's not the volts, it's the Hertz that hurt (yes, lolz).

We run 60Hz here and I think you yanks run 50Hz. Deano may be able to help here, but I believe that our heart runs around 50Hz, so the pissweak yank current is more likely to stop the old ticker than the Oz current. I could look this up, but I prefer to rely on conjecture and guesswork than research.

I've had a few shocks at 220, and while painful and stunning, it's never been a big issue.

[Dean from Australia]

I thought it was the amps (is that the hertz??)

By the by I just watched the after show video...

Was Keith giving Calise sexy doe eyes at about minute 2 ?? I think she totally got his measure and he liked it!

[Scumhook]

Could be the amps, which are different to the Hz. Amps are power, Hz is frequency, volts are something else again. Electricity does my fucking head in.

Haven't seen the after show vid yet... I'll keep my eyes open for any lewdness...

[bw81]

There was a news story a few weeks ago where a little girl stuck one of those round button batteries in her mouth thinking it was a candy and it ended up eroding in her stomach which got to her vitals and killed her.

A week later I had to pick my daughter up from kindy as the school said she had been feeling sick. It was the first time I'd had to pick her up sick from school before and I was holding her as we were walking to my car and she said, "I ate a sparkle."... my mind jumped straight to that news story above and I was trying to get her to tell me what she meant. Did she eat a button battery or some glitter or what? It ended up that she had just stuck a bit of glitter in her mouth and thought that it was never going to get out of her tummy but before she finally told me that, I was fearing the worst. I ended up telling her the story of the little girl who ate a battery and how important it is to not put anything in her mouth that isn't food FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE INCLUDING MEN.

I said to my wife not long ago that if I was able to comprehend and feel the worry that being a parent brings before we had had our first child, I'm not sure if I could have gone through with it. You get used to having mini-heart attacks daily being a parent. We've had baby monitors in both our kids rooms from the get go and still have one for our 4 year old, though I think we should get rid of it now. I wasn't sure if we needed them to start with (the monitors) but now thinking of not having them at all is not even an option. Sure, we would sleep better and maybe would calm down more but WHAT IF...