1964: Our Father

[notthatoften]

Keith, I know it will be your anniversary and all, but if you come to Alaska can I buy you and your sweetness a drink!? I know all the places to go where we won't run into Sarah Palin, so just think about it is all I'm saying.

[indianprincess]

The therapist Chemda saw sounds like he comes from a positivist medical model who jumps to conclusions way too quickly. I'm so glad to hear that Chemda's not seeing him again. A therapist who utilizes an anti-oppressive, LGBT-positive approach, maybe using family-systems theory or interpersonal psychotherapy, and has this social thing called "tact" might be a more suitable fit.

In the initial interview with a therapist over e-mail or the phone, its best to be clear about how one wants to be supported so that you don't waste your money. Unfortunately, therapist training when it comes to gender issues is still behind, and is largely a matter of them making the individual choice to keep up to date with um, life. You deserve to have an initial phone interview/e-mail , it's your hard-earned money, after all.

[Dean from Australia]

Keith! One word - cholecystitis.

Get that shit checked out!

[Keith]

It'd be funny if weed was the only cure.

[Dean from Australia]

Originally Posted by Keith

It'd be funny if weed was the only cure.

Smart arse.

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by indianprincess

The therapist Chemda saw sounds like he comes from a positivist medical model who jumps to conclusions way too quickly. I'm so glad to hear that Chemda's not seeing him again. A therapist who utilizes an anti-oppressive, LGBT-positive approach, maybe using family-systems theory or interpersonal psychotherapy, and has this social thing called "tact" might be a more suitable fit.

In the initial interview with a therapist over e-mail or the phone, its best to be clear about how one wants to be supported so that you don't waste your money. Unfortunately, therapist training when it comes to gender issues is still behind, and is largely a matter of them making the individual choice to keep up to date with um, life. You deserve to have an initial phone interview/e-mail , it's your hard-earned money, after all.

The therapist sounds like he comes from a fortuneteller medical model where you name some shit and pursue what sticks.

And having lots of comics for clients doesn't sound like a selling point because it's obviously not working for the comics.

Disclaimer: the views stated herein are uninformed and judgmental.

[Sakugenken]

One thing that people often leave out in the alcohol vs pot debate (I am a proponent of both) is that pot is only used to get high, rarely for taste. I have often thought something like "a cold Bass Ale would go great with this burger" but never "I could use a bowl with this sandwich."




PS: Congratulations on your anniversary Keith! My 20th is on Monday and we are still happy, so it is possible!

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by Sakugenken

My 20th is on Monday and we are still happy, so it is possible!

Congratulations to you and your husband.

[Jenni]

I never post but I felt like I had to say what a brilliant guest Sean was. It sounds like he's had a really interesting life and seemed like a really intelligent and thoughtful guy. Great show!

Looking forward to the documentary!

[swiggy]

Chemda,

*Standing Ovation*

I want to give you the biggest applause and standing ovation to have the strength to walk, nay, RUN from that so called "therapist". I can't count how many "therapist rules" this guy broke by just the small description you gave on the show. He absolutely stepped over the line to say that bluntly in your first session you hate men, and acted complete unprofessional with rescheduling with you. My suggestion is to stay the fuck away from him.

The reason for the standing ovation is that most people are too afraid to leave with their first therapist, thinking they're stuck with an asshole, no options, and end up re-traumatized by the person they're seeing. So, again, GOOD JOB.

Being in the mental health system for 5 years now, I've learned that therapists and patients have to fit like a glove. Don't be surprised if it takes you a few tries to find the proper person for you.

I wish to leave you with a few tips, please take them as you'd like, it's what I've learned over the 5 years.

*Unfortunately, "therapist" is a blanket word for many different people, and it's worse in the USA for accreditation, it's too easy to do. It's really easy to get so called degrees in "therapy", some from accredited schools, some online. Those who choose school, a lot of people don't continue after the BA level (Bachelors of Arts with a minor or major in Psychology), then continue in social worker level to get a license. They aren't trained to deal with people ethically (aka no bedside manner, let their emotions get in the way to help you). Try to find a psychologist with a PhD, particularly someone who specializes in the issue you are having, and someone who's aware and accepting of LGBT* issues. This means they are dedicated, not just another 9 - 5.

*STAY AWAY FROM PSYCHIATRISTS. One, you don't need one. Two, the difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist is psychiatrist have an MD, meaning drugs (which means the drug companies usually have them in their back pocket). They try to keep the appointments as short as possible, diagnose you with something you definitely don't have, and throw pills down your throat.
I use this analogy: you cut yourself pretty bad. Psychiatrists put on a bandage (pill) and expect you to come back in two weeks to replace the bandage. Psychologists, on the other hand, want to help you stitch up your wound, teach you how to take care of it and re-bandage it, and have the hope you don't have to come back because it's fully healed.

*You didn't mention this on the show, so I'm adding this one. Drill the person you see next with as many question as you want in your first appointment. Tell them that strait up the first visit, tell them you have questions for them to make sure you're a good fit. Not your issues, questions about them and their practice. What kind of clients do you see, where were you educated, what is your major focus/specialty (i.e. addictions, ED, anxiety disorders, anger management etc), what technique(s) do you use (ACT, CBT, EMDR, mindfulness, DBT etc), what are your contact rules outside of office hours, is your therapist hour 50 minutes or an actual hour, are you anti-pharma or pro-pharma, etc, etc. They should, if they're good, clarify everything to you if you don't understand something, ask.
You can find more questions like this online and I'm sure you have your own personal questions (such as the case of you and Lauren). I can say that in my own experience, Psychologists expect this from the first visit because they, as well, want to know if both of you are going to be a good fit. It will cut into your time, but if you find they're avoiding or not answering the way you want, you can just get up and leave before the hour's up, not wasting either of your time.

*The first few sessions are going to be awkward, because you have to build trust. If they pass the above test with the questions, take it slow. There should be no real blunt statements (at first), it should be similar to "I noticed you mentioned something regarding X that made you a bit angry. Tell me more about that". They should always be turning it around on you, and making you feel safe in that room, helping you figure it out, not them figuring out for you. You should never feel judged. Ever.

Stick with it, it may take a few tries. You got this girl!