2033: Get Happy

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by JaymztheKing

I think there is something to Keith's point about not wanting to admit that there are solutions to people's problems.

Kind of a separate issue, but I've seen similar behavior displayed by groups .

I think you're both right and I really like your group behavior analogy.

It is like you don't want to get better, (to some degree). It seems dumb, (and it is) but changing the way your brain operates affects everything in your life. It's not simply going from sad to happy. Your mood affects: friends, dress, music, where you go, and what you do. So leaving depression is leaving a familiarity. A comfort zone.

There's a certain amount of stubborn-ness in depression that needs to be addressed.

I also think that non-depressed people need to understand that when they announce "Get Happy" we go from wanting to kill ourselves; to killing them instead

[Sparrow]

the "just change" stuff was a source of guilt and shame for me. every day i couldn't bring myself to be pleasant was a failure. and i failed a lot. it fed the inner voices that kept me from feeling worthwhile. hearing that stuff out loud from people i respect causes a little involuntary spasm in my heart. i hear: "you're not good enough," "you're not strong enough," "you're lazy," "you should be able to flip the switch," "what's happening to you isn't even real."

[karlee88]

Hi Keith, Chemda, and Lenny,

I appreciate that you are speaking about mental health. I got the feeling that everyone on the show is sensitive to mental health problems/depression but that Chemda's take on it was more "I'm okay talking about it" and the guys, well, it makes them a bit uncomfortable. Like Lenny said, guys have a tendency to want to fix what's wrong and I know from experience it can make them feel useless when they cannot fix a problem. I think that in general women know they cannot fix much of stuff that's happening but with listening and small steps they can make a difference, even if it's not fixing the problem. Just a theory.

I work at a mental health center as a Community Health Worker. I also have dsythmia (low-grade depression) and Seasonal Affective Disorder). Like any health problems--including physical ones--it is invaluable to learn coping skills, what your triggers are, preventative health measures, and to be in healthy and empowering social relationships. Exercise is certainly on this list. But it's a multi-tiered approach that works best and each individual has to expend time and effort to find what works best for them. Problem is that it's difficult to feel motivated when you have depression. My wish is that non-depressed people will understand that it's not a choice to feel "unhappy or depressed". It really is physical and mental, not just mental. And as far as feeling happy? I think most people who are depressed would just like to feel some peace and a little contentment and some would like to feel anything at all, as they feel numb much of the time. I tell non-depressed people to look back to when they were in some thick fog and trying to see the car lights ahead--that's what it's like to be pretty depressed. It's quite an effort to see the lights ahead and can be exhausting.

[Dean from Australia]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

the "just change" stuff was a source of guilt and shame for me. every day i couldn't bring myself to be pleasant was a failure. and i failed a lot. it fed the inner voices that kept me from feeling worthwhile. hearing that stuff out loud from people i respect causes a little involuntary spasm in my heart. i hear: "you're not good enough," "you're not strong enough," "you're lazy," "you should be able to flip the switch," "what's happening to you isn't even real."

I got that a lot after I was assaulted at work a couple of years ago. It seemed to be the case that I was only allowed a finite amount of time to be in the state of mind that I was, then the expectation to just get on with it came down like an iron door. It was as isolating an experience as the assault itself.

I don't do well out of doors much anymore. I can't stand large crowds of people and I've been pretty shaky when it comes to staying away from alcohol recently.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by karlee88

...

fuuuuuuuuuuck you!!! and welcome to the forums.

[OnmyojiOmn]

Jon Koppenhaver (fuck his stupid stage name) bragged on Twitter last year that he raped Christy Mack ("Just raped @ChristyMack She tried to make me wait until "after errands" As if!"), plus a bunch of other crazy stuff. It seems safe to say that he was abusive the whole time they were together. There's this implication in the way the media handles stories like these (Ray Rice, Michael Vick, etc.) that the abuser just took it too far in a particular instance, when the truth is that Joe Dinglehopper took it too far the first moment he ever made her feel unsafe. Nobody seems to care about the victims who live in fear every day of their lives but who never get any attention or help because their abuser never left marks.

Also, don't forget about the time Kuntsburg got trolled so hard by 4chan that he punched himself in the face.

About Robin Williams, there's a video of Conan interrupting his show because they just heard about his death while taping. He, Andy Richter, and Will Arnett do cliched little eulogies. I do believe that they all knew him and liked him, but I found the whole thing to be so fake and weird. Normal people don't make up canned press statements within minutes of hearing that someone they cared about just died.

Oh, and about Chemda killing herself with pills: if you're trying to make it clean, make sure there's no urine or poop in your system because it won't be in your system long.

--Unpronounceable forum guy

[sassyjew]

I was diagnosed with minor low-grade chronic depression (it's called Dysthemia) when I was 12 and have been anti-depressants ever since and I also have been going to therapy pretty regularly since I was 10 (I am 28 now). But I don't have severe depression and I haven't had a bought of depression like one that Sparrow described so maybe my thoughts are not relevant to the conversation.

One of first problems is the idea that there is a 'solution', some people can have depressive epsiodes and maybe that will never happen again, but in my case, it doesn't seem like there is something I can do that will result in me never having depression.

There are ways to manage depression and there are ways to help and there are things to do to make yourself feel better, but there is no solution.

When Keith says, "I wonder if people with severe depression LIKE to feel that there is no cure" I think a more accurate statement would be "People with severe depression feel like or know that there is no cure" and then someone could suggest to a depressed person, 'well go outside, eat better, find activities you like, make friends' and I have thought,
-what if i dont make any friends because no one wants to be my friend, and everyone will just wish i wasn't there?
-just because these things (eating better, exercising, talking to a therapist) have worked for other people, I know they won't work for me.
-i don't deserve to feel better
-i don't know what 'feeling better' feels like
- this is the best i will ever feel.

Lenny's reaction to thinking about depression is also a reason why people with depression may not or choose not to tell other people about it. Lenny is obviously comfortable with the idea that there is no way to 'fix' a persons depression, and that depression can be something that will be with someone for their whole life.

Sometimes, when someone has gotten to know me a fair amount, and they know that i am on antidepressants they ask me if i think i really need them. They say, "you are so cool, your are so strong, you stand up for yourself, you are in such a good place, do you think you still need the drugs?" And I understand why people think that, and I also know that that is a compliment, but it doesnt feel like one. Some people ask me if I still need the drugs because the idea that a person will always need to be on mood-altering drugs makes them uncomfortable, and especially when i was yonger this would make me want to prove to people that I truely was depressed and needed the medication.

So as far as what to if you want to help someone with depression, here are some things that i would appreciate and have appreciated when people have done them
-listen
-accept me with this mental illness that i have, don't try and fix it, be happy that we are friends even if i have this illness
-start small, don't say go outside and get moving that will make you feel better, say I like taking walks around the park, would you like to come with me, I think we could have fun.
-make it known that you want and enjoy that person's presance, if you invite them to something, say i would really like you to come, not a bunch of times, but sometimes I don't want to tell friends or acquantainces that I am also interested in whatever is going on, because i don't want to be invited to something that no one wants me at.
-notice or ask what upsets them is really hard for them, if they are crying or acting a certain way, how you would be able to help them the best?

I am sorry that most of this message has not lived up to Keith's grammer and composition standards.

[Scumhook]

These depressed people certainly talk a lot.

[sassyjew]

The talking a lot part, that's just cause I like attention.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by sassyjew

I am sorry that most of this message has not lived up to Keith's grammer and composition standards.

It's okay. As long as you spell the word 'grammar' right. (IT UNDERLINES IT IN RED! WE PAID EXTRA FOR THAT!)