2087: Sweeps Week

[Sparrow]

this daddy fighting is hot. if we're gonna do this, i think we'll need oily topless photos from the both of yous. for reasons. science.

[Keith]

Pat, you pushed it so I started remembering and hearing more about all the inappropriate sexual offenses.

You know that's where this has gone, so don't play stupid and think we can ignore that now.

But meanwhile I'll address the above stupidity.

You said to me that it was a tough summer with you and your ex? I ask because I instead remember how you said you don’t miss your ex because Crissy was a cunt and a crazy bitch, and you've seen it for some time now. Does any of that sound familiar, Mr. Respectful?

And why would you even try to throw in Chemda and Lauren's relationship, and how mature you are about it as though I wasn't in regards to ‘he’ and ‘she?’ You weren't an asshole at the bar about it or I would have left, but you certainly aren't going to make anyone think you're Open-Minded Pat who always supported what they have going. "Keith it's simple, you just use HE. What's the big deal?" Can you imagine EVER saying that, you goofy fuck, ESPECIALLY when it's just the two of us?

“From the time Keith comes in, he’s louder than the piano. He is, as he generally is, the loudest thing happening in the room and immediately the center of attention and of course he’s directing all his attention at me, trying to get me to change what I’m doing, being funny for his friends and just generally being a nuisance, but granted it's funny to his cohorts.”

For what it's worth, you weren't playing anything when we came in.

Then you paint myself and Danny, Xerxes, and Scott - three of the shyest and nicest people I know – as bullies that somehow had no problem changing their entire personalities?

This never happened, Pat. This so-called conversation that you typed never took place. And these witnesses wouldn't lie about it for me.

Can anyone imagine me pleading, “I just want to play with you!”

Me, Danny, Xerxes, and Scott. We're some group of punks.

Now, you'll bring up weird minutia and not address certain things, Pat, so just so you know now I probably won't address your stupidity regarding the above story. I know how you talk and type. You think you’re very clever. But now we're onto bigger things, so now you can address all the sexual harassment that we've been talking about. That’s probably a little more important anyway.

See? I knew you'd find a place to tell your side of things.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by PatDixonNYC

I showed up at The Creek and the Cave, kind of late. I go there about 4-5 times a week to play the piano.

Let me get this straight.

Pat, (who regularly enjoys going to the bar sober to play piano) and Keith, (who also regularly goes to the bar to do what EVERYONE ELSE DOES - which is to get drunky face and enjoy themselves) both met one fateful night, and their routines/ expectations were upset..?

What a dumb fuck thing to end a friendship over.

[Sparrow]

do you not even listen, bro? there's some alleged weird sexual vibing also happening from unnamed sources. keep up.

[BrianAlt]

This is to the both of you, perception is everything. It's typical he said, she said.

Kiss and make up. Or don't. It doesn't matter.

P.S. This doesn't address the other weird misogynistic crap.

[Keith]

So maybe we won't kiss and make up then, Einstein?

[The Girl]

Pat,

You really think I would be this angry with you because you called kick an asshole at a bar?!
Way to address the smallest issue.

First, this is not the first time your shitty temper came out on one of us because you were uncomfortable. You laid into me one time before the show. I'll spare everyone the details because for some fucking reason I'm still trying to not fully blast you. However, you were so crazy inappropriate that I had to collect myself before the show so that I do what I'm in the studio to do. I kept that story to myself thinking that it was a mistake and that's not really you. But you've been fake and shitty for a while.

In all fairness, you apologized for that and I thought that was the end if it. But it wasn't.

A couple times after you came on the show again, I emailed you about feeling weird about when you're in the studio and you acted like I was making things up. I sent you details and you still said it must have been in my head.

You don't like us. You haven't for a while. (Even that story you typed out shows now much you hate when Keith is even in the same room with you.)
You've been keeping in touch because we have a show that you don't want to break ties with. And we've been keeping in touch for the same reason.

But your shit fucking distain for us is palpable and your behavior towards women is intolerable.

What you wrote out is text noise. Stop acting like a victim. Like we don't know you. You're playing up that we're assholes who dismiss our friends?! You haven't acted like a friend for a long time now. The boiling point has come. Stop yourself. It's old.

[rodimusprime]

I don't get how Pat finds the misunderstanding at the bar something that needs to be cleared up with that much detail but can't even address the creeping on female comics and rampant misogyny.

[Rufio]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Let me get this straight.

Pat, (who regularly enjoys going to the bar sober to play piano) and Keith, (who also regularly goes to the bar to do what EVERYONE ELSE DOES - which is to get drunky face and enjoy themselves) both met one fateful night, and their routines/ expectations were upset..?

What a dumb fuck thing to end a friendship over.

Either you're a troll or a barely functioning retard

[WittyReference]

Someone's got to tm MQ this - goodbye forever, Patty.

I noticed the change in studio vibe and the drop in appearances and assumed something. Bummer to hear. He should be thankful the woman don't want to talk and scurry away for help.

Can Jesse be on the show soon, please? Not for rivalries, for old pal reassuring pleasantries.