213: Friends?

[Nick Postagulous]

Poor Froggie:

http://www.pbase.com/brockman/image/54484323/large

[Goatboy]

Talking is cool by the sink, if I know you. But I have trouble peeing in company even without the idle chitchat. Don't talk to me with your weenus in your hand.

[OSLIN]

I liked the shout-out ads. Hope you do it again sometime.

[bullymike]

Keith and Chemda - I just started listening, found it randomly from a list of Winamp streams, I fucking love your fucking show, new fan for life.

When you were talking about stranger-talking ettiquette yesterday it reminded me of something that happened over the holidays - my wife and I were flying back from vacation, it was about a 2 hour flight. Before boarding, my wife had gotten a phone call that her horse, at a stable at home, was potentially fatally ill. Between spending a week with my folks, hanging around in a shite airport, and then getting this bad news she was in a pretty pissed mood. As it happened, we were able to board first. The aisles had three seats, and in an empty row I took a window seat and she took the middle seat. Later this little old lady walked up to the empty outer seat and asked if the seat was taken. My wife said no. She then asked if she could have the seat. Uhhh? She sat down, and as we got in the air I was mostly paying attention to the view outside.

Several times I swore I heard the old lady talking with my wife, but when I would look over my wife was either reading or looking out the window as well, clearly not in a conversation. I figured I was just hearing things. After we landed and got to our car, my wife told me this old lady had tried to start conversations with her several times, with comments like "have you been married long," or "are you on vacation?" Towards the end of the flight she asked my wife if she had offended her, and finally as she got up to get her bags she told my wife she hoped we had a long and happy life together. My wife had totally ignored her the whole time! Usually when the woman started up with her bullshit, my wife would turn and start talking to me instead. Maybe it was a dick move but I was really proud of her, because strangers always manage to pressure me into long ass boring conversations that they start only to hear themselves talk.

Sometimes when I'm down I imagine how hurt that yakkity old bag's feelings could have been, and it always cheers me up.

[spooky]

nice first post, bullymike, umm...well, if youre gonna be an ass, i suppose ya gotta start somewhere, and old ladies, if they get angry, probably wont kick your ass.

welcome aboard, sounds like you will be right at home here.

[slugymay]

I hate the smell of old people when the sit next to you on airplanes.

[klyster]

Nope, never say goodbye in the toilets.

[MichaelG]

Originally Posted by spooky

welcome aboard, sounds like you will be right at home here.

Not him, his wife would fit in, she was/is the asshole...

This guy would have talked to the old lady

[william]

Hearing about bathroom etiquette reminds me…

Years ago when I landed my first serious job I used to work in an office surrounded by a lot of up-tight assholes. You know, the Connecticut country-club types who at twenty dream of being forty and gray. Anyway one day I’m sitting at my go-nowhere job when one of my fellow losers comes over to me, all excited like, and says “There’s a guy jerking off in the bathroom!”

“What?” I asked. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“No, serious,” he replied. “Go check it out!”

“Get the fuck out of here! I’m not going to go listen to some guy jerking off.”

Well it turns out that every so often someone would be at the urinal when all of a sudden they’d hear a dude start to go at it in one of the stalls. We wound up calling the pervert the “Shhh-Shhh guy” on account of the sound he would make when he flogged himself. And wouldn’t you know it, one day I’m taking a wizz when I start to hear “Shhh-Shhh-Shhh…”

I zipped up as quickly as possible (probably dribbling on myself in the process) and darted right out. “He’s there!” I exclaimed! “The Shhh-Shhh Guy! I heard him!” The rumors where true.

We never did figure out who it was. We theorized that it was either some Fed-Ex guy who was getting off on seeing all the office girls or some guy who had a thing for watching other guys pee at a urinal.

A few years later I’ve moved on and I’m working at another office when this buddy of mine comes over and asks, “You know BlahBlah?”

“BlahBlah? The head of XXXX?”

“Yea - that guy.”

“What about him?” I asked.

“Well, I standing next to him, taking a piss, when all of a sudden he drops his pants and he’s standing ass naked next to me!”

“What?!!,” I couldn’t believe it - we were talking about a pretty senior guy. “What did he do?”

“He undid his belt, dropped trau, and started taking a piss right next to me!”

“Get the fuck out of here!” I exclaimed.

So began the legend of “Dropped trau.” And though others reported the same odd behavior, I never believed it until one day I’m in the bathroom alone when who walks in but Mr. BlahBlah. He takes the urinal right next to mine and as I’m watching out of the corner of my eye, you know - all non-homo like - he undoes his belt, unzips his pants and in one smooth motion he yanks his pants and underwear down to his ankles.

I have never cut off a stream so quickly in my life. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on and I didn’t want to find out.

Fast forward a few more years and I’m in a different position in a different location when who do you know walks in as the manager of a corresponding area? “Dropped trau!”

Nothing levels the playing field more than knowing another dude’s weird bathroom habits.

----

By the way, when there are three empty urinals, etiquette requires that you take one at either end. The next guy in should take the one on the opposite side, leaving the one in the middle empty. As for saying goodbye, I’d pass. A word here and there is ok, but for the most part a dude should act like everyone else is invisible in the bathroom. Do your business, maybe nod your head in greeting to someone you know, and then get the fuck out.

Oh, and even if you don’t do it when you’re alone, wash your hands.

[teerts]

Originally Posted by william

Hearing about bathroom etiquette reminds me
...
Oh, and even if you dont do it when youre alone, wash your hands.

http://flasharcade.com/urinal_game.html

Also, I agree.