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02-07-2006, 11:35 AM | #11 (permalink) |
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I saw Harrison Ford on Leno recently, and that was the first time I had seen him in years. He seriously looked retarded. And not just old-age, mental degeneration kind of retarded... it was more like that "he had a stroke and now shits himself daily" kind of retarded. I felt bad for the guy, but I thought the same thing Keith said in this show about the Indiana Jones movie. How the hell is this guy going to play that cool, suave, adventerous treasure hunter? Unless this is going to be called "Indiana Jones and the Colostomy Bag", I just don't see it happening.
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02-07-2006, 11:35 AM | #12 (permalink) | |
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02-07-2006, 11:42 AM | #13 (permalink) | ||
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yeah, perdido key, you spelled it right. tell us your drowning story! it doesnt have to be the coolest, everyone loves near death experiences no matter how lame they are!
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02-07-2006, 11:56 AM | #14 (permalink) | |
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Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
Check out the recent shows
Click here to get Keith and The Girl free on iTunes.
Click here to get the podcast RSS feed. Click here to watch all the videos on our YouTube channel. |
02-07-2006, 12:01 PM | #15 (permalink) |
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it was gulf breeze high school. i dont think there were any queers or lezzies there when i went. i would have liked some lezzies. tell us your story, danClass!
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02-07-2006, 12:22 PM | #16 (permalink) | |
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See, Mexicans are nice, this Gulf of Mexican Spared the good doctor |
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02-07-2006, 12:52 PM | #17 (permalink) |
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that map brings back memories
i went to school in GB for middle school (junior high keith) and i stayed in touch with a few of those friends over the years they graduated in 92 ok my story: instead of doing something cool like surfing i was like 12 laying on a inflatable thing (raft would be the wrong word) - one of those things that were never meant to leave a swimming pool the waves were pretty calm that day and i was asleep before i knew it i wake up and think, damn this thing has a hole in it because i'm all sunk down in the middle into the water ; i slide off the thing thinking i'll just touch the bottom and start walking instead i sink and there's no sand below me; i look up and i can't see the beach over the damn waves ! i think for a second, "maybe i looked the wrong direction" and i look the other way but of course that leads out to sea (duh the wave direction gives you an idea) i'd been sucked out by the rip tide and slept through it i try to kinda stand up on the raft (wtf are those things called?) and i still can't see anything because the thing is half sunk; so i figure i'll just inflate it it's fucking hard to inflate those things in the water; i get a lot of air in it then notice there's sloshing water within the fucking thing now the instrusive thoughts start "remember the movie jaws?" "you can't see the beach, maybe you're way the fuck out in the ocean" "it'll be dark soon" it's like noon but that dont matter suddenly i have the urge to get the fuck in right away AND keep my arms and legs onto the raft and not touch the water so i start paddling this half crippled floating thing in; you feel like you're not getting anywhere but i calm down because i'm not going to sink; i ignore the thoughts of just how far the bottom is from my feet and how nice i look to a shark that's when the hissing starts...... fucking nozzle keeps blowing open because of the pressure from me hugging that floating piece of shit formerly known as a raft ..... damn work where was i oh yes each time the nozzle blows off more water gets in the damn hole as i scramble to close the valve eventually i have the brilliant idea to tread water and empty the thing of sea water; well i end up pushing out practically all the air with the water now i'm trying to blow the thing up and tread water (i couldn't float back then even in salt water i was one boney 12 yo) i end up with the raft looking like a big wad of plastic wrapped around my foot and just swim in towing the POS i finally see the beach at this point and there's my mom waving for me to come in i say outloud "no shit" i eventually catch a wave which carries me like half the distance and i still remember the feeling of sand on my toes when i made it far enough to touch i took a pocket knife to that raft later when we got home |
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02-07-2006, 01:06 PM | #19 (permalink) |
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hehe, see, thats a great story!
i was body surfing once and an actual tiger shark, 7-9 feet, big enough, swam by close enough for me to touch. scared the shit out of me because those fuckers(and bull sharks) like to eat people! clearly, he knew i was there and came to check me out, i was out at the 2nd sand bar, maybe 60-70 yards from shore, no hope for me if he was hungry. it swam away a bit, and i bagan furiously paddling to shore. i could see it hanging out between the 1st and 2nd sandbar, not sure what it was looking for. the water was sooo clear, i could see it cruising around all the way back to shore. ah, memories! i cant imagine what it must be like to see an actual great white cruise by while out in that water. sharks are scary. theres some guy that actually treaded water for like 70 something days out in the ocean, and survived, i bet he has some shark stories. |
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02-07-2006, 01:11 PM | #20 (permalink) | |
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i'm glad my vacation is past i couldnt get in the ocean after these posts /shudder |
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