That's a three-parter for me. 1 like dicks and I think everything they do can be fun. 2) There's a kind of power dynamic that turns me on when doing it with another person and when I'm just watching it I like the.. release? Someone being so uninhibited to like just start peeing while in their bed/in the hallway/outdoors.

Yeah it's a convo kinda like that. Personally I let the other guy bring it up. I've found when dudes call themselves "kinky" or "freaky" it usually boils down to them wanting to bareback; and when I bring up anything they go "OH! oh....really?" So I ask them to tell me first and take it from there

I had a super long post about depression and then my phone died and I lost it. Long story short:
I started having suicidal thoughts when I was single digit age. It sucks, I've learned to get a handle on it since and rarely get full on months long depression bouts. Exercise helps loads.

I cannot recommend enough, having someone beat the living shit out of the person who assaulted/raped you. I personally feel it completely cured me of any neuroses I may have picked up from it. That's fucking closure.