2181: Make-A-Wish

[Nettie-poo]

Originally Posted by MrBrit

Regarding the discussion of loving children or loving parents as an analogy to polyamory: I do believe that when you have multiple children that you love each of them a little less. It's not a zero-sum game, though. It's not like one child = 100 love for that one child, and two children = 50 love for each of those children. It's more like one child = 100 love for that child, two children = 85 love for each child. I also think that a parent who has one child and that child dies feels a much larger sense of loss than a parent who has 10 children and one of them dies.

I don't disagree that that'd be how you feel, but I don't think that's true for everyone. We've only got one daughter, and of course we'd be devastated. My husband's mom lost one of her many children as a teenager, and it still affects her the same way I imagine that the loss of our child would affect us.

I lost my dad two years ago and I can't say I'd be happy with the person who dared to say that they are more upset over the loss of their single parent because they only had one parent to start with.

Originally Posted by MrBrit

In most cases, polyamory just seems like a public relations move because it sounds better than "player". I know numerous poly people, by the way. I think they just want some sex available at home all the time, and they also want novelty of sex on the side, but I also think they are either emotionally stunted, don't want intimacy, or are just too thrill-seeking about sex to get into a monogamous relationship.

I can see that being the case in some cases, but I'm not sure how you can say most. Not many people who are poly amorous really go about discussing their sex lives with everyone. Unless you're me, most people also dont go around saying they like to be fucked in the ass or whipped if it's just a general non-potential partner person.

I can also see how what I said can make it seem like that too. Sex does play a part of it, a large part at the moment, but I'm going to have to agree that it can build the base relationship. Mike and I have just been further discussing things since stuff came up on the show and not only have we been going at it like rabbits but I also feel more connected to him because we can be honest, loving, and we don't have doubt of losing the other. I mean, the fact that he can even consider putting that much faith in me for my happiness because he knows he doesnt have to be afraid of losing what we have? That's just...I mean it's amazing.

Love is exponential. You don't go around saying "Oh I hate this guy, but since I hate another guy now too I hate this one less." Hate is exponential too. It's really a matter of which one you want to spread.

Originally Posted by MrBrit

I'm not saying that everyone who's poly is like this, but I think quite a few of them are (and I say that because I know some poly guys and one poly girl who's like that).

I know a black guy, a gay guy, and a slut. I can make assumptions about most black people, gay men, and women because I know a few.

[Junkenstein]

Originally Posted by myq

hey everyone, thanks for listening


well, you're not invited so everyone wins.

Aaaaaaand that is why i love and support Myq like the day i first heard of him. Complete victory in the verbal duel

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by MrBrit

It's more like one child = 100 love for that child, two children = 85 love for each child. I also think that a parent who has one child and that child dies feels a much larger sense of loss than a parent who has 10 children and one of them dies.

the loss of a child is a terrible thing whether you have 1 or 100. is your love finite? that seems really shitty that you love someone less when someone else comes into it. i don't think i'd like to be in any kind of relationship with you if you have to diminish it for someone else.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that poly people are greedy about love, getting as many people to love them at the same time as possible (and the emotional validation that comes with it), and they like the thrill seeking of fucking around with other people.

I think they just want some sex available at home all the time, and they also want novelty of sex on the side, but I also think they are either emotionally stunted, don't want intimacy, or are just too thrill-seeking about sex to get into a monogamous relationship.

monogamous relationships and people who settle for them who don't really want them are soooo high minded and not at all miserable liars. /s

i DO want sex at home and novelty sex on the side. i specifically built that into my current relationship. what of it? greedy about love: fuck off. you keep all your love held tight and divided into portions.

If I were okay with being deceptive, I think I'd absolutely play the "I'm polyamorous" card if I just wanted to sleep around with a bunch of women and didn't want to come-off looking like a sleazy player: "Hey, it's not that I want to sleep around with lots of different women and not commit to any of them, it's that I just love everybody. I have so much love to give." I'm not saying that everyone who's poly is like this, but I think quite a few of them are (and I say that because I know some poly guys and one poly girl who's like that).

i DO want to sleep around without committing to most of them. i'm sure your shit friends are representative of everyone, like you, dickfuck.


i'm living a life that feels honest to my needs. they are not YOUR needs, but get the fuck off your high horse, bro.

[myq]

Originally Posted by Junkenstein

Aaaaaaand that is why i love and support Myq like the day i first heard of him. Complete victory in the verbal duel

thanks, junks!

and while Nettie-poo and Sparrow have basically handled Mr Brit's points, here's my more than two cents on the matter as well...

Originally Posted by MrBrit

Personally, I'm of the opinion that poly people are greedy about love, getting as many people to love them at the same time as possible (and the emotional validation that comes with it)

do you feel the same way about people who have multiple children? if your mathematical formula is true*, then each additional child a couple has receives less love, so that the parents may have more beings that love them. that seems "greedy" in the same way, one could argue.

* love is not an objectively quantifiable substance. TIME is, potentially. that's why i do think people who have an IMMENSE number of children are doing them a disservice, because they are denying the children some measure of time and attention. and if a person has so many relationship partners that a parallel thing happens as well, i would say that is problematic, but relationships between adults are different than the parent-child relationship, as i'm sure we all know. adults can consent to being in whatever quality or quantity of relationships they desire.

In most cases, polyamory just seems like a public relations move because it sounds better than "player".

"player" generally means a one-sided situation, where someone is getting played. functional polyamory is usually mutually beneficial because everyone is playing by agreed-upon rules and no one is being played.

If I were okay with being deceptive, I think I'd absolutely play the "I'm polyamorous" card if I just wanted to sleep around with a bunch of women and didn't want to come-off looking like a sleazy player: "Hey, it's not that I want to sleep around with lots of different women and not commit to any of them, it's that I just love everybody. I have so much love to give." I'm not saying that everyone who's poly is like this, but I think quite a few of them are (and I say that because I know some poly guys and one poly girl who's like that).

and if monogamous people are okay with being deceptive, they just cheat. i know a LOT of monogamous people who are like that. there are monogamous assholes and there are poly assholes, and there are non-assholes of each type as well. it does sound like you just know a lot of assholes? (said with love.)

i love you!

[Nettie-poo]

I like that the naked girls are the ones making the most sense.

Sparrow, babe, you're still my BFF of today too. Don't tell anyone. No one's been doubled up yet and some others have been left out.

[Sparrow]

i win.

[flerchin]

Perhaps polyamory is as immutable as sexual orientation. I can't even fathom being any other way than boring old straight monogamous, but y'all make it sound like what you have works for you, and I'm happy that you're happy. I'm especially happy that this podcast kicks so much ass that I can laugh my balls off while exploring these incredibly deep topics.

Great episode!

[flerchin]

[ImStillToni]

I love how Myq even replies in damned near robotic soundbites never fails to make me laugh when I read his words and hear his voice in my head compLETE with the apPROpriate inFLECTions.

hastag beepboopbeep

I have yet to make it thru this ep, it's so fucking hysterical I always end up stopping sometime during Mike Lawrence and rewinding yet again. I'm not a hater, I will fully admit I am so jealous of whoever can donate for this level of Kickstarter, it's like a fucking dream come true on so many levels. No doubt in my mind if the stars align and I can afford that shit, I'd snag it in a heart beat. I genuinely liked Jeannette and Mike. They seem like good people and they damned sure have great taste in KATG guests. If I ever run in yall at a KATG event, yall definitely got a round on me.

I swear I'm not trying to have sex with either of you

[Sparrow]

anybody notice how fly Myq's hair is lookin' these days?