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View Poll Results: Were you ever a paid member of Ashley Madison?
Yes 0 0%
No 61 100.00%
Voters: 61. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-27-2015, 05:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
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what are some things about profiles that tip you off to them being pros and fake?
Pros either poorly insinuate (think craigslist where they ask for 200 roses, or a man who is financially secure and very generous) or just blatantly ask for money. Fake accounts are just obviously fake from the photo's to what was written, so fake that it was basically insulting.

To me that's the main reason Ashley Madison sucked. It was a cheating site that had no one to really cheat with. All they were selling was anonymity and now they fucked that part up as well. They were basically taking advantage of men who wanted to cheat but didn't know how to and giving them an option that was, literally, too good to be true.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:42 AM   #12 (permalink)
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what are some things about profiles that tip you off to them being pros and fake?
I read a really interesting article on how a guy did some analysis trying to figure out how many "real" profiles there are.
Almost None of the Women in the Ashley Madison Database Ever Used the Site

His methods made sense e.g. user emails ending in @ashleymadison.com --> probably fake, he checked IP adresses, whether the users checked in to read their messages
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Splitting the Check

Weirdness with a joint check is universal, but I think the hassle with separate checks is New York thing. I've lived in Chicago and Phoenix, and it is completely normal and expected for the waiter to give everyone a separate check. There can be two people or 15, and the waiter will ask in the beginning if we want separate checks. It is not awkward to say you want a separate check since we are all so used to it. It is in the waiter's best interest to hand out separate checks, since ending up short means the waiter doesn't get enough tip.

I have run into a few restaurants that oppose separate checks, but that is rare. And yes, on those rare instances we can't get separate checks we always wind up short. At my sister's birthday we were $40 short, and everyone stared at me like a weirdo when I told the table. Guess who had to cover it.
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Even with them asking the table if you want separate checks, are you happily the first person to say 'yes?'

Or is there some awkwardness for a second: "Should we..." "Well if we..." "I don't know if..."
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by laurisssa View Post
Weirdness with a joint check is universal, but I think the hassle with separate checks is New York thing. I've lived in Chicago and Phoenix, and it is completely normal and expected for the waiter to give everyone a separate check. There can be two people or 15, and the waiter will ask in the beginning if we want separate checks. It is not awkward to say you want a separate check since we are all so used to it. It is in the waiter's best interest to hand out separate checks, since ending up short means the waiter doesn't get enough tip.

I have run into a few restaurants that oppose separate checks, but that is rare. And yes, on those rare instances we can't get separate checks we always wind up short. At my sister's birthday we were $40 short, and everyone stared at me like a weirdo when I told the table. Guess who had to cover it.


Fuuuuuck you, welcome to the forums lurker-of-nearly-ten-years!

It's always so interesting seeing the topics that make lurkers finally pipe up.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Never mind remembering a 10-year-old password.

And by the way Lanfear, as a waiter, it's a pain in the ASS to give separate checks to large tables.

You split an appetizer with someone. Now what do I do. Make you feel uncomfortable so I know whose check to put the appetizer on?

You're out to lunch. (No pun.)
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Old 08-28-2015, 09:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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if someone feels like being generous, just say thank you. don't take it as an obligation.
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Old 08-28-2015, 09:57 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Can we talk about something else weird around the check: when a person insists on picking up the whole tab that you're not that close to. Am I suppose to offer, just say thank you, tell you I'll get it the next time and hope that there is a next time and that I do remember?
If I can afford it, I do this semi-often, especially when inviting people out for drinks. (Speaking of Christian, I bought the first round of everyone's drinks at QED after the show and I'm glad no one fought me over it.) I don't want obligation, I want to show people I appreciate their company, even if I don't know them well. They spent time with me, I imagine I had fun or I wouldn't offer, and I'm grateful. I don't do it if I can't afford it.
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Old 08-29-2015, 03:23 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Can we talk about something else weird around the check: when a person insists on picking up the whole tab that you're not that close to. Am I suppose to offer, just say thank you, tell you I'll get it the next time and hope that there is a next time and that I do remember?
No just be upset with yourself that you didn't drink more
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I laughed out loud at several things Keith said and did. Love the dynamic between him and Myq.

(see, Keith, I don't hate you)
Me either! And thank you! Keith also makes me laugh. I love our dynamic as well.

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I unplugged my earbuds in the kitchen and one sentence of Myq played out from the phone before I paused it. I am not joking, my son said "why are you listening to a robot?"
THAT COMPUTES AS HUMOROUS.

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Knowing it's guys like my dad and Josh Duggar using Ashley Madison I can't figure out what kind of empathy Myq thinks we should be feeling for AM users.
Firstly, I'm sorry for the dirtbaggery that exists that has affected you. Sincere condolences to all who experience unnecessary pain. (Which is basically all.)

I would say the short answer to "what kind of empathy" is general for-all-people-always empathy. Also potentially the they-who-are-without-sin-cast-the-first-stone type of empathy. All people make mistakes. Some don't intend to as much. Some are more negligent. But because I know I've made choices that have hurt people and appreciate it when I am forgiven and understood, I do my best to do the same for others.

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Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle View Post
For someone who understands words so clearly and well, I don't get how Myq can't understand 'Have An Affair' or 'Ashley Madison is the most famous name in infidelity...' As being anything other than a dirtbag website. An affair, (by definition) is "a sexual relationship...between two people WITHOUT THE OTHER SPOUSE KNOWING."

To my understanding, Myq and other polyamorous couples agree to an understanding that there will be other partners. Whether you wanna know about it or not, that's just another agreement. It's an afterward to said agreement.

Is Ashley Madison legal? Can ya do it? Sure. But it's a horrible idea and certainly not a website promoting polyamorous ideals. They're similar. THey both promote not being exclusive, but one involves lying and cheating and breaking your agreement, (IE infidelity) and the other supposes all parties are informed.

I also think Ashley Madison is counter-productive to gay rights. How can you announce that same-sex couples can marry. Then also add, "By the way, marriage is meaningless..?" What's the point?

Is marriage a pronoun? Or is it the meaningless noun that changes every time you verb? Ashley's definition doesn't compute. beep bo boop.
Many of these things you're saying are good questions and fair points.

First, I will say that the definitions of words are always shifting and never completely contain the same connotations to every person, or even groups of people. Marriage used to mean a man owning a woman. Now for many people it means whatever the people married want it to.

Yes, the classic version of an affair involves someone not knowing... But some couples might have don't-ask-don't-tell relationships where not knowing IS part of the deal. And those couples might be using the website in an authorized fashion, but now the leak makes it so plenty of people outside of the marriage (who they don't want to know about their private business) might find out.

Also, and I'd need to reference particular Dan Savage columns and podcasts to go into all the details, but there are situations where for various reasons, sometimes cheating is the least of the bad options in a situation where people are financially dependent or other types of situations... cheaters aren't always monsters. Sometimes as Dan says it's better for people to "do what they have to to stay married and stay sane" (paraphrasing a bit).

One other major point that Dan pointed out is that there are countries where adultery is punishable by death. Suicides have occurred as a result of this leak. This is back to the empathy answer again, with this point being that whatever you think about cheaters potentially "getting what they deserve," I don't think most of us agree that they deserve death.

I don't dispute that there are a lot of people doing secret, unauthorized, harmful things with the use of that site. I'm not a fan of people breaking promises and hurting people. I'm just also not a fan of shaming people for breaking promises and hurting people.

(As far as the anti-gay portion of it, I'll reiterate that marriage today, I believe, means whatever the people in it want it to mean. For some people, it's very important. For some people, it's all about having a family. For some people, it's all about health care or taxes. For some people, it's a complicated combination. I don't think that some people who don't take marriage seriously means anything for people who do.)

I might not have addressed everything, but mainly I just want to re-emphasize the position that kindness, forgiveness, and empathy are, in my opinion, always potentially practical and helpful to the person providing them. None of these things are required, and maybe they are more difficult in some times for some people, but for me, they are something that I aim for whenever possible.

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Loved Myq's first set. Sucks the 'losing your kid' joke lost the crowd, but as a fan, was super impressed how he got 'em back with the 'being a kid/ owl' joke.

What a pro. Handled it graciously and perfectly. His material is ballsy in it's cleverness. No doubt his time to shine will come again.
Really appreciate the kind words!

Time is continuous! Shining is plentiful. Gratitude to you and all!

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I wish that yappy beeotch Kasey would STFU for a second and let poor Myq get a fucking word in...

loljk she's fucking great. We need to have them both on again, and talk about fiddling stuff and other Kasey related topics.
very nice of you! thanks friend!

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if someone feels like being generous, just say thank you. don't take it as an obligation.
i like this. thank you!
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