2542: Just Asking

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

I knew this would be the response. Shut up. It's not my job to teach you.
Isn't this he Internet? It's not a black forum. And I came here not ecpecting some special treatment.
I don't go to random black people and ask them questions .
You make it very easy for you if you want to see me this way.
I have a lot to do with black people, I help the refugees who came to Germany learn the language and find a job. . Now you can say " fuck you you white women who wants to be helpful to others . You help others in your free time because you want to feel superior you white opressor go and kill yourself"

This is your tone towards me.

And I don't ask them insensitive race questions.
But they are not American black people and have a complete other experience anyway.

Your constant microaggresions throughout the thread make it very easy to see you this way.

Interacting with black people or going to a BLM march or helping refugees does not stop you from being racially insensitive.

I live in suburban Alabama I know and interact with plenty of "nice" white women. They may have even protested or volunteer at the boys and girls club. Shoot, they probably even have black grandchildren.

None think they are racist. None think they can ever make an insensitive racial remark. It's not true. Racial microaggresions are a constant even around the most well meaning of white people. But when they are corrected or confronted about a microaggresion or insensitive remark, they get indignant like you.

I suggest you look up the term "tone policing". It's along the same subject as "not telling oppressed people how to respond to oppression or feel about it"

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Los

Nothing wrong with talking about it.

I disagree.

People unaffected by the word see it as a thought exercise. An interesting conversation. It's not real for them.

The conversation does not carry the same weight or consequences.

Hence, the aversion to emotional responses.

It's like discussing how sexual assault victims should feel about their assault, with no actual survivors in the room.

Sure "nothing wrong with just chatting" but you have to understand how frustrating that would be to sexual assault survivors.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Los

The thing is, if whites could all just agree to stop using it as an offensive slur, they could say it too.

It's hard to deal with a word that's a good or bad thing depending on who's saying it.

1) no.

2) is it?

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

(idk if profanity is allowed on the forum)

oh, sweet summer child. you do you. there's no content filter.

[Los]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

idk if profanity is allowed on the forum

It is. I don't know when you started listening, but one of the most popular guests on this show was a black woman who was racist against black people, and made a lot of offensive jokes about it. That's what this show used to be. Even the old promos for the show were more offensive than anything said here. I don't listen much anymore, but it's a lot different now.

Originally Posted by Mermaid

People unaffected by the word see it as a thought exercise. An interesting conversation. It's not real for them..

I don't think that's where Apia is coming from. She's in another country. The black people she knows are nothing like African-Americans. I'm speaking for her, but there's nothing behind what she's saying.

I think it's a good idea to just be relaxed when talking about this stuff. If someone's brave enough to possibly be insensitive, they could be willing to have their mind changed and learn something. That's a good thing.

[Los]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

2) is it?

If it was easy, we wouldn't be having this conversation. There would be nothing to talk about.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Los

It is. I don't know when you started listening, but one of the most popular guests on this show was a black woman who was racist against black people, and made a lot of offensive jokes about it. That's what this show used to be. Even the old promos for the show were more offensive than anything said here. I don't listen much anymore, but it's a lot different now.



I don't think that's where Apia is coming from. She's in another country. The black people she knows are nothing like African-Americans. I'm speaking for her, but there's nothing behind what she's saying.

I think it's a good idea to just be relaxed when talking about this stuff. If someone's brave enough to possibly be insensitive, they could be willing to have their mind changed and learn something. That's a good thing.

Her disconnection from the subject makes it even more of just a thought exercise.

When you are disconnected it's easy to say "calm down, relax". The conversation has no bearing on your life.

I haven't spoken to her any more harshly than I speak to my male friends who have a misogyny blind spot. I haven't called her racist or attacked her character. I pointed out how what she said is insensitive and why she shouldn't say it. She replied by trying to prove how good of a white person she is and playing victim to mean black people who refuse to talk to her nicely.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

Of course it can be that I am offensive without wanting to be. I'm not even sure if would describe myself as a nice white lady.
But how can using Google help? it's not like there is only one opinion out there. And it's very different America and Europe.
This is a book by a German comedian.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....4,203,200_.jpg

And when I say I don't like to be talked to so aggressiv

ely then I'm policing someone's tone and have microaggressions.
Is there anything I can do besides feeling bad for not knowing everything ?

Please point to the aggressive post. I have not threatened you. I have not called you any names. I haven't even really said anything about you that I couldn't say about literally everyone depending on the oppressed group. Everyone has blind spots. And no one likes theirs pointed out.

But its time people get use to it. You can't want growth and change without being ready to grow and change yourself.

Also...the whole "aggressive" thing is cliche to me at this point. (Again, black woman in Alabama)

About the Google thing:
What aspect of racism would you like to learn about? Asking about book/movie/documentary/youtube recommendations is loved and encouraged even in the most militant black spaces.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

USA is a big and important country but it's not the center of the universe.
Black people here did not have a past as slaves but are traumatized by war and oppression.
This is what I know. This is my reality.

The condescension is cute. I'm quite aware the world is bigger than the USA. Thanks.

- A person whose parents got married and had a child in Germany

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Los

It is. I don't know when you started listening, but one of the most popular guests on this show was a black woman who was racist against black people, and made a lot of offensive jokes about it. That's what this show used to be. Even the old promos for the show were more offensive than anything said here. I don't listen much anymore, but it's a lot different now.

What are you trying to say here? Because something isn't as offensive as it could have been then I shouldn't say anything? Or that I should just take it?

That is what it sounds like you are suggesting.


A racist podcasts is what caused me to stop listening to them back in 2004 when they were first getting started. I wanted to like it so bad because it was mostly funny but every show there was a moment that was like a kick to the chest (aka racist joke). I was 13 at the time so I kept trying to give it a chance. Then gave up. You can only take so many figurative kicks to the chest.