2542: Just Asking

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

I listen to the code switch podcast, two dope Queens and another round, slate' s represent.

I learned a lot by listening to this.

Question for you:

Are you interested in a white woman like me as a whole person?

Or do you assume by knowing I'm white you know enough?

I am interested in people I like as whole people.

Honestly, you seem like you would be a lot of emotional work and frustration to be real friends with. Don't take that as a knock tho. Take it as me putting my mental health first.


So I would be friendly and have conversations when I had the emotional space. But probably "unfollow" your posts on facebook.

[Los]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

Her disconnection from the subject makes it even more of just a thought exercise...

We're talking though. All of this is just an exercise. You're telling her that she should just read about it online. Isn't it better to actually talk to people and get some perspective?

I just think you can relax and take emotion out of it when you don't know, and will never meet the people you're talking to. It makes it easier to get your point across, or get some answers. It's up to you.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

I listen to the code switch podcast, two dope Queens and another round, slate' s represent.

I learned a lot by listening to this.

Question for you:

Are you interested in a white woman like me as a whole person?

Or do you assume by knowing I'm white you know enough?

If you listen to these podcasts then my tone shouldn't be new or seem aggressive to you.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Los

We're talking though. All of this is just an exercise. You're telling her that she should just read about it online. Isn't it better to actually talk to people and get some perspective?

I just think you can relax and take emotion out of it when you don't know, and will never meet the people you're talking to. It makes it easier to get your point across, or get some answers. It's up to you.

You don't understand.

Would you tell someone from an abusive home or a sexual assault victim to take the emotion out of a conversation so that it's easier for you?

Do you think they would be able to turn that emotion on and off like a switch?

Would you tell them to relax?

This conversation is only a thought exercise for yall. This subject (tone policing, white people deciding how black people should feel/react to xyz)has real consequences for my life. Think: work relationships, school, police relations, friends, etc.

[Los]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

What are you trying to say here? Because something isn't as offensive as it could have been then I shouldn't say anything? Or that I should just take it?

I just think the environment here is for talking about anything. I don't agree with shutting anyone down (including you), especially if they seem open to really talking about something. Just my opinion.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

What do you think I post on Facebook? ( honest question)

I mean what kind of stuff?

The kind of stuff that good meaning white people who just don't quite get it post.

The kind of thing where a friend would come and try to steer them right but then they list all the black people they've every come in contact with in order to prove they aren't one of the "bad" ones.

For example:

I had a white socialist friend, the day after Trump got elected, post about how this was the fault of people of color and other minorities not standing up for themselves. (He was a Stein voter) And now its time to stop sitting on our butts and do real work!

This was the day after the election. A day a lot of POC and LGBT people spent crying and feeling hopeless. Calling into work. Suicide hotlines backed up. This was not the time to blame minorities for anything. This was overall just an insensitive Facebook post. Had to unfollow.

Well meaning, but he just doesn't quite get it.

[Los]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

You don't understand.

This shouldn't matter, but I'm black. It's a sensitive subject for me. I can take emotion out of it because this is just a forum for a comedy podcast. We're just talking.

Anyone who reads this could learn something though if the conversation is calm and thought out. You can give people a whole new way of looking at the issue based on your own personal opinion. If they don't get what you're trying to say, it doesn't change what you know.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Apia

Well they do not address me, or tell me to shut up and Google stuff.
Actually, there was a debate about this topic on code switch and some of the contestants had the opinion you shouldn't make it easy for white people to understand the context.
The culture is mostly white and they should try harder to understand for example who some black musicians are.

The problem with this is, you can Google stuff when you are missing some parts of a story. When you don't understand the story at all because of missing context then you will turn it off.
And then everyone just stays in his bubble, because he understands it.

I'm an immigrant in Germany and I'm used to give context about my life all the time. It's work, but I see no alternative.

I never told you to "shut up". I told you "this is where you should have stopped" and then later explained why.

I didn't shut down the conversation - we are obviously still talking- I continued it in a direction that you didn't intend.

I feel strongly about *who* is included in conversations. If you are going to discuss how black people should feel about the n-word, then I feel strongly that black people should be present.(and probably more than one type of black person: age, location, political affiliations, etc.) Because no one else will have the depth of experience.

But you have to understand why me as a black woman would not be here for white people gathering to discuss "so why don't blacks just stop being offended by it then"

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Los

This shouldn't matter, but I'm black. It's a sensitive subject for me. I can take emotion out of it because this is just a forum for a comedy podcast. We're just talking.

Anyone who reads this could learn something though if the conversation is calm and thought out. You can give people a whole new way of looking at the issue based on your own personal opinion. If they don't get what you're trying to say, it doesn't change what you know.

It doesn't matter.

There are people who can remove emotion but a majority don't.

My sexual assault example stands. Some women need trigger warnings and some don't. You shouldn't expect all to react a certain way because some do.

[Mermaid]

I also feel strongly that black people shouldn't be made to "have to" push down our emotions all the time.

That is not healthy and it literally kills us. (stress cortisol levels much higher)

We are not robots. Racism is not just an abstract subject that should be discussed like scientific theories on space. People need to keep that in mind when interacting.

People are sensitive. Black people are sensitive. And we are allowed to show emotion. (same for other marginalized groups)