2650: Have a Good Life

[Scorpion]

YES bring a plate of cookies eat almost all of them, place a KATG business card down in front of her then break the plate and leave.

[FingerLakes]

again
only if it's in the studio with the cameras on and only if Keith disguises himself as Chemda and does all the talking.

otherwise mom can gtfo

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by Keith

How many serious tries does someone have to give before they gave it a serious try?

Until they seriously have an ulcer..?

[memecherry]

I fired my dad from my life years ago...

Has helped me get better about pulling the plug on toxic relationships in the last few years...

People show you who they are, it's hard to change, most people don't.

If you feel compelled to "try one more time" I agree you show up fully in your truth:

your husband
your job
your life choices

She either taps into some mother instinct that might live inside her & realize you are an amazing daughter, or she might not, and that would be HER loss.

[FingerLakes]

she's NEVER going to give you what you want Chemda.
Either she doesn't know how or doesn't care.
She isn't even going to give you a proper goodbye with all this "you'll always be my daughter. call me."
She's going to dick you around, guilt you and then ignore your husband and your career and massive success.

Unless the subject of the next email she sends you is "I've been to therapy and i want to apologize" stay the heck away from her.

[flerchin]

Hugs.

Here it is; We love you. Your chosen family loves you, supports you, and believes in you. Your successes are truly awe-inspiring, and your bravery in the face of a 6 pound tumor is unmatchable.

Over empathizing, and allowing others to take advantage of that trait, is your biggest weakness. It's not surprising that your mom is exploiting it.

More hugs.

[Todd]

It will be difficult, but try to become the passive member in this situation, just as you're trying to sometimes let someone else be the outing planner.

You feel terrible when you reach out to your mother and are not met with the same effort. You feel guilty when you actively cut her out of your life as toxic.

Just as it's not fair for you to always have the responsibility of planning activities and destinations and contingencies, it's not fair for you to feel you always have to be the one making the decisions on the course of your relationship with your mother.

Let her know that you are ready and waiting to talk. Make yourself available to her when she wants to meet you on your terms, realizing that it may be never. If she reaches out again but with the same superficiality, let her know "I guess we're not ready to talk, then."

Don't agonize with "how much am I willing to accept to get things rolling again?" I know you probably will, but please try--for your own emotional well-being.