2675: Made in the Shade
 

with Martin Morrow – Family addiction; show business scams; chuuch; camping and the Crips

Guest:
Martin Morrow
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Poll
 

DAMN IT

I just discovered Instagram

...Can I spit/ not swallow..?

You can spit, you just need to make sure that they come to completion.

So assume a drop gets on your lips or you have to start over. But again; disease free. You can even assume that they're circumcised.

Oh. I'm assuming. Believe it.

I saw Martin at Second City in Chicago earlier this year. He was great.

I love the "no tricks" nature of the poll option. No gotcha journalism here!

I've seen donkey dicks. Sure smaller than a 1/4 horse but still don't think I could open my mouth wide enough. Maybe a shetland pony. This equine fellatio talk is kinda making me uncomfortable.

Obviously licking it to completion counts, silly goose.

And now we take a peek at your house...

Haha!

waaaaaah I voted incorrectly. Definitely sign me up for the donkey dick


but then I'd have to be trampled to death by a heard of gay donkeys for fucking animal. So maybe I chose right.

In other news. Fuck Uhaul and Thank you two, Keith and Chemda, for teaching us how to deal with customer service. I went to Jersey on Friday and the PATH is supposed to accept Metrocards as payment. Well none of the turnstiles I went to let me in, it just continually read my card and spat it out. Cut to 12 hours of drinking later when I'm on my way back and whatever the PATH machines did fucked up my card so much it won't read at our subways here in NYC. I go to the booth troll at West 4th and tell her that PATH card readers messed up my card and I need another one. She starts on some bullshit about "I don't know where you got that card" and "Technically it's YOUR fault for using it at a PATH machine cuz now it only works there" (none of that is true. The card never started working on the PATH either and the system was BUILT to take metrocards).

But I just stand there, with a line of other sweaty drunks forming behind saying over and over "So what do we do now? I want to get home and there's $30 on this card that I would like to use."

"Well you used it in Jersey."
"OK. But we're here now. So now what?"

After pretending to take a phone call, thinking it would make me leave she finally opened the gate and let me through, saying she better not see me with that card again.

Fuck off