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Old 11-02-2017, 08:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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What do you all think about this situation? I always feel dirty thinking about it.
You should not feel dirty. He manipulated you, he is a scum bag. If you take anything from this it should not be feeling dirty it's knowing now you have to stick to your guns. If you feel like "no" say "no" and let that be the end of it. It's not being nice to say yes to something you don't feel comfortable doing, that's him being a manipulative fuck. I feel like from what I know of you, that you have gotten there already but that's it. Don't feel dirty because some scum bag was able to manipulate you into doing something you didn't want to do. He's a scum bag and that's the end of it.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:47 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I think any guy with a camera asking random female strangers is suspect. He went to your mom's house??? SUPER creepy. They have restraining orders in Deutschland?

Hey you said something interesting. You thought, "Is there even a job?" There are scammer/ creeps online who offer photography/ make you a model etc. more people, ( especially younger women) should be aware.

There's no job. Just a creep with a camera.
I wonder if he hurt someone, I hope he never got the chance. He is really fucked up.
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Old 11-02-2017, 09:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
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You should not feel dirty. He manipulated you, he is a scum bag. If you take anything from this it should not be feeling dirty it's knowing now you have to stick to your guns. If you feel like "no" say "no" and let that be the end of it. It's not being nice to say yes to something you don't feel comfortable doing, that's him being a manipulative fuck. I feel like from what I know of you, that you have gotten there already but that's it. Don't feel dirty because some scum bag was able to manipulate you into doing something you didn't want to do. He's a scum bag and that's the end of it.
Thanks. This really helps
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I came here with two minutes left in the show to say that instead of wondering if it's ok to watch the sports with Ray, Keith should talk to him about changing his behavior and base his decision on Ray's reaction. Leave Andrea out of it.

But then that's what everyone else told Keith but I'm already logged in, so I'll just add another voice to the chorus.

More men than not have done some level of unwanted bullshit. I think in cases where society has blurred lines, we are now unblurring them. You can separate the good ones from the bad ones by how they take responsibility for past actions and what they plan to do going forward.

Additionally, men that do take responsibility should have no expectation that the women (or people of any gender) that they have affected in this way, will want them back in their lives. Logically, I can be happy that a dude made the decision to change, doesn't make the bad feelings stop when I see them. On the other hand, I can feel comfortable with a man that has engaged in unwanted behavior (to a certain point, like, I don't want to be friends with a reformed violent, child, or serial rapist ) NOT toward me, and has taken responsibility to change.

There are a lot more nuances than I listed, like what about x offense, or what if the person he hurt was my best friend, etc. Etc. But this post is already too long.
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:43 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I just finished listening to this episode.

I don't understand how this continues to be an issue when it's been public for so long. Every coed college and university has a horrible record for the number of rapes that happen and this has not gotten any better since I went way back in 1987. Yet here we are in 2017 and we are just starting to get some traction on this issue. I hope it gets called out more and more people have to deal with what they did to another person.

Andrea,
I'm sorry men did this to you. I don't want to sound like even one man who does this is OK, BUT clearly there are WAY too many men who are doing these horrible things to women like you. This sucks that it happened to you, it happens way often to way too many women. Remember that it was not and is not your fault. You are a person who should be respected regardless of the situation or how you got to the situation. It's horrendous and should not happen.
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Old 11-02-2017, 11:15 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Andrea: "Why are we beating a dead dick about it?"

HA! I really want this to be a new thing people say. Please, please, pretty please make this happen!
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Old 11-02-2017, 12:45 PM   #17 (permalink)
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This conversation is so intense when the room is mixed.

I think I'd be hard pressed to find a woman who has never been in an uncomfortable sexual situation with a man.

That's what makes the conversations so uncomfortable in mixed company.

If every woman has experienced it at some point in her life, that means a lot of men are doing it, have done it, or are friends/family with men who do it.

That's also the scary part about rape statistics. If there are a shit ton of people being raped, than there are also a shit ton of rapist.
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Old 11-02-2017, 12:57 PM   #18 (permalink)
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True. I was lucky I guess compared to others ( no 100% rape in my past) but still I had some experiences I don't wish for my daughter.
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Old 11-02-2017, 03:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Holy fuck. We always knew Ray was retarded but this picture business + sleep with me or get out ... even for drunk comics... it's too much.

It's easy for me to say Keith shouldn't hang with Ray. It's his friend and football hang time but He works with Andrea and it's just the respectful/ class thing to do. Show some solidarity.

I do agree 100% with Keith and his boners though. I'm not sure anyone else in studio got what he was saying. As a non-rapey guy, when you hear about these guys doing weird shit. You think to yourself, "I can't picture myself in this scenario. There's zero appeal. How do you even get hard??? I'd be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed, as a man, for all men, just hearing this."



What a roller coaster ep. Even alluded to Brother Love perpetuating rape culture.
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Old 11-02-2017, 03:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Invite him on the show and ask him about this stuff. Is he remorseful? Or defensive? This would be important.
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