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Old 11-02-2017, 02:15 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Holy fuck. We always knew Ray was retarded but this picture business + sleep with me or get out ... even for drunk comics... it's too much.

It's easy for me to say Keith shouldn't hang with Ray. It's his friend and football hang time but He works with Andrea and it's just the respectful/ class thing to do. Show some solidarity.

I do agree 100% with Keith and his boners though. I'm not sure anyone else in studio got what he was saying. As a non-rapey guy, when you hear about these guys doing weird shit. You think to yourself, "I can't picture myself in this scenario. There's zero appeal. How do you even get hard??? I'd be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed, as a man, for all men, just hearing this."



What a roller coaster ep. Even alluded to Brother Love perpetuating rape culture.
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Old 11-02-2017, 03:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle View Post
Holy fuck. We always knew Ray was retarded but this picture business + sleep with me or get out ... even for drunk comics... it's too much.

It's easy for me to say Keith shouldn't hang with Ray. It's his friend and football hang time but He works with Andrea and it's just the respectful/ class thing to do. Show some solidarity.

I do agree 100% with Keith and his boners though. I'm not sure anyone else in studio got what he was saying. As a non-rapey guy, when you hear about these guys doing weird shit. You think to yourself, "I can't picture myself in this scenario. There's zero appeal. How do you even get hard??? I'd be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed, as a man, for all men, just hearing this."

What a roller coaster ep. Even alluded to Brother Love perpetuating rape culture.
Well said. This is exactly the kind of conversations that need to happen in front of preteens, teens, college age kids and adult males. See how actions of men can be so fucked up. It's not about trying to have sex it's about interacting with another human and how your actions can affect them and how you need to respect and communicate with them not just push yourself on them or make demands.
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Old 11-02-2017, 04:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Just to be clear. I'm not a male feminist. I'm not even remotely a good person.

I'm a comedy fan.

Andrea is super funny. Ray is not. The math is easy.
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Old 11-03-2017, 02:31 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I cried when Andrea cried because god damn. I look back at my life and I think "how many times did I experience this exact thing in one way or another?" From the start of being sexual at about 15 until about the age of 35, almost every sexual experience was something I didn't want in one way or another yet had no context or words or way to say why or how or what I did want. Talk about a mindfuck.

In our lives, we women have been taught:
If you kiss you better give it up or you're a tease
Don't wear makeup too young bc old guys will hit on you
Never enter a mans house if you don't plan on fucking him bc we all know that's what we're agreeing to
Know where the exits are on the first few dates
Be sexy
Don't be sexy
Men will do anything to fuck you
Men rape children
Men rape everyone
If you get raped why were you there
If you get raped tell someone
If you get raped and you tell someone prepare for it to ruin your life
Be smart don't get raped
Don't get too drunk
Drink or youre boring
Fuck or you're frigid
If you don't fuck x number of times a week in a relationship something's wrong
If you aren't looking to fuck somethings wrong and you're probably a bitch anyway
Don't enjoy sex or you're a slut
Enjoy sex and do the things that they do in porn or you're boring
No man is ever your friend
Get a walk to your car or you will get raped
Be nice to men who shout at you because they might rape you

Etc
Etc
Etc

It makes sense that so many women are soooooo fucked up for so long when shit goes down. It makes sense that we don't know how to react in certain situations because of all this conflicting garbage, none of which takes into account **what we might actually want at that moment**. The concept of consent and this whole wave of shit coming out now is THE BASELINE of us feeling some minimal agency to have even words to slow men the fuck down so we can move in a way that feels good and safe for us.

Also therapy
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Old 11-03-2017, 03:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Thoughts on Ray:

He was a total creep and asshole that night with Andrea. But what he did was not against the law, which puts him in a different league than Louis C.K./Cosby/Weinstein/Pat Dixon. Those people broke the law with their actions, Ray just broke the rules of being a decent human. I'd like to hear what he has to say for himself.

EDIT: as far as we know what he did wasn't against the law. But if there was touching or harassment or more, he's no longer just a creep he's a sexual assaulter or harasser.
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Old 11-03-2017, 04:44 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Apia,
It took me a lifetime to get there after decades of putting myself into uncomfortable situations with men who (as andrea said) couldn't tell from just MY FACE that something was askew as fuck. Ive been with an incredible guy for the past two years and I'm just learning how to set aside expectations and anger and feelings of things not being fair and accepting that he actually wants to please me and make me feel good because for years I dated guys who didn't give a shit if I got off and I thought that was just normal.
WEED HELPS SO MUCH WITH THIS, WOMEN.

The point I'm trying to make is that the mixed messages we get from birth all throughout life are so shitty that someone like me who never even experienced sexual assault can be so fucked in the head when it comes to sex. Bloop
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Old 11-03-2017, 04:50 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Also

MOTHERFUCKEN PROPS TO KEITH for being a man who is willing to host this platform for women and sit there as sometimes the only guy in the room with all this... stuff. Thank you.

And of course extra super props to Chemda and Andrea for being kickass role models to women. God damn I love this show. Muah muah muah!
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Old 11-04-2017, 01:53 PM   #18 (permalink)
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After hearing this episode, I want to respond. I’ve been on Katg plenty of times, I’ve always been rather transparent and honest and I want to do that now. At first when Keith told me about what Andrea said, I was surprised and confused, that was immediately followed with anger, he also told me 5 minutes before we did an episode of My Name is Keith, so that may come across in the episode. But, after listening to this katg episode, if this is how Andrea feels, I’m glad she said this, I’m glad this came out, if this is what she felt, and I’m not saying she’s lying, hopefully we can all learn from this, I sure hope to.


Before I talk about the night that was referenced, which I do remember well, I want to address the pic that Andrea sent me, it was of a butt in a thong, and yes I did show it to some dudes. It was like a 12 year-old getting his first playboy and showing his friends, it was 100% wrong, I didn’t do it out of spite, it was a juvenile move, when I told her what I did, I saw how hurt she was, I felt horrible, sadly it wasn’t until then did I realize how inappropriate that was, I’ve apologized a 1000x’s for it, and since, whenever a woman sends me a risqué photo I don’t show it to anyone. For the record guys show other guys pics of women all the time, it’s not cool, I never really thought about it until I saw how upset Andrea was, and I felt like shit for it, deservingly so. It still upsets me that I had such poor judgement. It’s been brought up on the show plenty of times. I’ve always owned this mistake.

Ok, the night of the hand job incident, I’m just going to lay all my cards on the table here. At this time, I really liked Andrea, we were hanging out quite a bit, a week earlier we were by her place drinking, she invited me up and I declined. Not b/c I’m a gentleman or have a moral high ground, truth is I’m an alcoholic, I have a drinking problem, also I only hook up w/ girls that I would like to be in relationships with, and b/c of that I don’t hook up while drunk. I’ll make out w/ a girl then, but no penis play, I’m way too insecure and in my own head worrying about not performing.


In no way do I want a potential girlfriend to deal w/ a half-hard drunk penis, especially the first time I’m having sexual relations w/ her. When I do hook up w/ women especially the first time, I have do it completely sober, also most time I do have sex it’s usually in the mornings, or early afternoons, but I have to do it sober. The night of the hand job situation, I was hanging a bar, she texted and we met up near my apartment. I had already been drinking, she wanted to come back to my place, I’m assuming that she wanted to hook up, I have no clue that she just wants a place to crash, so now I’m nervous, this is a girl I’m interested in and I don’t want her first experience w/ me to be this night. I do remember, before going to my apartment asking if we could make plans to hang out another night instead of going to my apartment right now. If she misinterpreted that, as sex or nothing? That was not at all what I meant, if anything I was trying to get out of the situation. Again, I was not under the impression that she just wanted a place to crash and that’s her only objective, the first time I heard that is yesterday, when I listened to this episode. There was obviously a miscommunication somewhere, honestly if she just wanted to crash, that would’ve been fine. I wanted no penis action, trust me, I knew it was going to be underwhelming, I knew I wasn’t going to perform well, it was going to be lackluster. Which makes hearing this story more upsetting b/c she gave a hand job that she didn’t want to give, and I got a hand job that I didn’t want, it was a half erection at most. To be honest, and this is going to sound horrible, but I let her give me a hand job b/c I thought she wanted to, I didn’t want her to see my penis in that condition, I knew it was going to be impressive, I’m sure I made jokes about how it wasn’t going to do much. Regardless, I was not kicking her out of my apartment, and I hope she knows that is true. Btw, plenty of female comics have crashed at my place and I’ve had no sex relations of any kind w/ them.

What makes it more weird in hearing the episode is that after this night, we hung out plenty of more times, a few weeks later I hung out w/ her mom & brother at my comedy show.. If something is weird or you feel uncomfortable ladies, let us know, truth is, I can’t speak for all men, but I felt uncomfortable that night b/c I knew I was not going to perform much, I didn’t want to hook up that night, and I say that w/ a clear conscious. I’m willing to talk about this if Andrea or anyone else wants to, doesn’t have to be on a podcast, but I hope to clear the air, and hope other women & men don’t end up in uncomfortable sexual scenarios. Also, I had no idea that the topic of the podcast in which this was mentioned was about rape and sexual predators.. um, not fun hearing your name associated in any conversation involving those topics. But again, if this is how Andrea felt, I’m glad she brought this up and talked about it. Obviously, if we could go back in time, wish she would’ve talked to me directly about this years ago.
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Old 11-04-2017, 06:23 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thanks for sharing your side of the story Ray. And of course as it tends to happen when you try to reconcile both versions, conflicting details start to emerge between both recounts.

According to Andrea's memory (and yes, you both were inebriated), the deal was "either you put out with at least a hand job OR you can't stay".

I can't help to finding it interesting you missed addressing this part in your message, or maybe it was implied and me being distracted missed it. Can you clarify?
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Old 11-05-2017, 06:35 AM   #20 (permalink)
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"why did she go in the hotel room" re weinstein

i've been asked for kisses and hugs and been touched APPLYING TO BE A DISHWASHER.

my first rape happened at home with my parents asleep in the same house.

you can get assaulted or raped EVERYwhere. which is why i think survivors often become more risky and promiscuous. if it can happen at home or in a turtle neck applying at a grocery store then why not pass out in a mini skirt on the subway? in my twenties i literally had a "meh, rape happens" attitude.

fuck yeah andrea, you're wise and strong and you don't owe anyone your story.

and fuck yeah marilyn manson for firing twiggy; to be fair i think twiggy had a history of "behaviors" where this accusation is no surprise.

also, still love ray.

thanks for having these conversations guys. this -i think- helps change things.
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