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View Poll Results: Is 2018 Your Year?
Yes 16 55.17%
No 13 44.83%
Voters: 29. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-02-2018, 10:53 PM   #11 (permalink)
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That logic of "well you SAY the word god so you can't be an Atheist" is literally on the level of children. "But yesterday you said the ice cream store was closed on mondays!" I have a coworker in his teens who gives me the same level of argument as Keith's dad. "You just said "goddamnit. How can you say that when you don't believe in him?" It's like aline from Animanics or Tiny Toons. Just assbackwards and full of themselves thinking. "Every single person who says "god" definitely means MY god, whose name is also "God" or else why would they be saying it"

My friend used to be more squeemish and it would piss me off when she would get offended that i would "take the lords name in vain." We talk about sex and fucking in public and getting drunk and hating people but she would half the conversation to chastise me when I said "goddamnit."
'I'm not taking it in vain. I literally want god to damn that person."
"Don't be CRASS" would be her response.
She's lightened up and stopped that over the years but, GODDAMN! some people really need to learn what an idiom or turn of phrase is.

Also your brother is def swindling ya'll out of $100. He's "giving" your sister his old camera that he never uses (read: selling it to her) and instead getting gifts from the rest of ya'll he wants you all to pay him what it costs, instead of her paying for it by herself. I guess it would be a gift to both of them?? but...gtfo.
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Old 01-03-2018, 05:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FingerLakes View Post
That logic of "well you SAY the word god so you can't be an Atheist" is literally on the level of children.
but calling whatever you're into "God" is also kind of bullshit. take the leap.
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Old 01-03-2018, 06:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am in the middle of reading The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. Very dense. Very excellent. Very helpful. Very recommended.
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I don't know if I can handle more than 2 or 3 pillars, is there an abridged version or maybe a study guide?

I wasn't trying to make this about me, I was thinking more people would be replying saying 'Yeah I'm a piece of shit as well' or just laughing. Not sure I'm comfortable with all of you being so nice and helpful.

You are all so positive about this year, I'm on the verge of freaking out. Will I get laid off, will I have to start a new job, will I get a new job or stay unemployed for way too long, how will I afford my son's therapy. I'm a mess and nothing has happened yet!
Meanwhile I go home all stressed after work and yell at my son too quickly and too much when what he really needs from me is more positive attention and patience. I really want someone else to take over so I can roll up into a ball in the corner. Does anyone relate?
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Old 01-03-2018, 07:53 AM   #14 (permalink)
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You are all so positive about this year, I'm on the verge of freaking out.

I really want someone else to take over so I can roll up into a ball in the corner. Does anyone relate?
i have no intention to motivate you or be positive about your situation. i'll just sit with you in the corner and commiserate a little.

last year kicked off with getting married (YAY!) aaaaaand immediately losing our savings in a business thing that didn't work out. i put my career on hold so the hubs could try some things and figure out what he wanted (he did), which actually came at an opportune time b/c my creative impulses dried up and i haven't done anything worth a goddamn in a good while. i'm in this weird nebulous limbo where i'm doing shit all but treading water and feeling stagnant while everyone else is moving forward with their plans all laid out like a yellow damn brick road. i have zero idea what's in front of me, but i'm just gonna keep walking into it. b/c that's how time works and i don't have a choice. so, ya know, you're not alone in not knowing how it's gonna come together if at all or feeling like garbage about that. i'm scared, too.
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Maybe we should all smoosh our dicks together until the spirit bear tells us who's right.
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Laugh a little, chigger. The world is a fun place.
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Old 01-03-2018, 08:26 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Sorry for being nice.
Loosing a job sucks but it hasn't happened and a new job can be fun. You are smart. Look how many stupid people who can't even write have jobs. You can write and articulate. Yay!
You have a family that's good. What kind of therapy is it?
I didn't mean to be negative about how you and Chemda responded. If it honestly came across that way I'm sorry. You are both very nice and I did like what you two both wrote.

ABA therapy, he's autistic and it helps him focus and relate better. It has really been remarkable how much it has helped him. It is about 150k a year and without health insurance it would not be something we could do. We just started working on feelings, he seems to think he should always be happy. So when he is sad or angry he doesn't want to deal with it and tries to laugh and seem happy. You can't get an answer about what is wrong because he can't admit he is not happy. He has also taught himself to play the piano by simply watching his cousins play. He loves it and really is good for a 7 year old. Trying to get a piano teacher who can work in a non traditional way that he needs is not easy.

He's the best.
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Old 01-03-2018, 08:36 AM   #16 (permalink)
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i have no intention to motivate you or be positive about your situation. i'll just sit with you in the corner and commiserate a little.

last year kicked off with getting married (YAY!) aaaaaand immediately losing our savings in a business thing that didn't work out. i put my career on hold so the hubs could try some things and figure out what he wanted (he did), which actually came at an opportune time b/c my creative impulses dried up and i haven't done anything worth a goddamn in a good while. i'm in this weird nebulous limbo where i'm doing shit all but treading water and feeling stagnant while everyone else is moving forward with their plans all laid out like a yellow damn brick road. i have zero idea what's in front of me, but i'm just gonna keep walking into it. b/c that's how time works and i don't have a choice. so, ya know, you're not alone in not knowing how it's gonna come together if at all or feeling like garbage about that. i'm scared, too.
Thank you for sharing, it does help to see someone is having similar feelings. I hope you pull out and find your muse soon. I really relate to the keep moving forward, I feel like the next day is coming and I need to be ready. I know things will get better, they might get worse first but better is also on the horizon. I need to keep my eyes on whats coming and keep working on what I have in front of me.

Thank you all for sharing and helping and just being awesome. You all have me crying at work now so I'm out for bit.

by the way ABA=Applied behavior analysis
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Old 01-03-2018, 09:50 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 01-03-2018, 11:39 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Scorpion,

I also had trouble with saying bad things. It’s as if I was disappointing people with my feelings.
Negative feelings seem like they evoke scary responses from people.
Even when we play high/low it’s hard to say the low. It feels like a bummer. So, we added “lesson and grateful”. We say what we learned from the low and then say what we were most grateful for that day.

Feels are tough. You sound like you guys are doing awesome. There is clearly a lot of love in your home.


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Old 01-03-2018, 09:51 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Negative feelings seem like they evoke scary responses from people.
It me. I am the people.

Mostly because I have no idea how to relate or respond. My default is the opposite.
So I feel like anything I say will be annoying and unhelpful to a person going through those negative thoughts.
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Old 01-04-2018, 04:42 PM   #20 (permalink)
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It me. I am the people.



Mostly because I have no idea how to relate or respond. My default is the opposite.

So I feel like anything I say will be annoying and unhelpful to a person going through those negative thoughts.


So many people do. People freeze and ask their kids not to talk about their uncle touching them because they don’t know how to console them. Unfortunately, feelings are terrifying to people.
I love them. But I had to learn. My parents hated feelings so I was embarrassed to have any for a long time.
I would stare if someone was telling me about something sad. Or sometimes I would cry along with them but that’s not helpful either.
I learned that nothing is the end of the world. Even death. People go through things. I found it best to empathize without making about me and to express love and availability.
Most of the time no one can really help. It’s the collective. We are a small source for someone. We need lots of sources.
This community is one of my sources. You’ve made me feel better when I’m sad by articulating a truth that helped my brain calculate my reality better and help me through pain rather than sitting in it.
You might be better than you know. But we can all use more compassion.




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