2811: In the Pants

Lanfear · 02-20-2018, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith

Is being rude and an entitled brat the new appropriate?

Inappropriate feels to me like the wrong word but hey non-native speaker wtf do I know

Mermaid · 02-20-2018, 03:54 PM

If I went out for drinks with a guy and the guy gave the bartender his card to keep the tab on for the both of us. I would assume the guy was paying for the tab. Because... Why else would he give his card?

Maybe I'm confused. You gave your card to the cashier to pay for the game of pool before you began, so that you could be charged for all your games later. When later came.... You didn't want it to be on your card anymore? You didn't want her to tell you that they are charging it now?

Also, the entitled thing. Maybe cause this was supposed to be a free coupon bowling date she figured you'd cover the makeup date cause you screwed up the reservation for the free thing. I don't feel like an entitled bratty woman would even be okay with a coupon date to begin with.

If you want a girl who splits the tab why not just make that clear before the date? Why play the weird game of "let's see if she reaches" then be salty if she doesn't?

Guys are weird.

Mermaid · 02-20-2018, 04:04 PM

The idea of only being okay with paying for the first date if you hit it off with the woman also sends off some feminist red flags for me but I don't have the words for the icky feelings.

Either you like paying or you don't. The conditions make it weird to me.

"objectifying" keeps coming to mind. But Idk if that's the right word. But it does sound like a consumer transaction. "I only pay for services I enjoy" kinda thing.

But Idk. My thoughts aren't fully formed.

This is why coffee dates are the go-to.

Lanfear · 02-20-2018, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid

The idea of only being okay with paying for the first date if you hit it off with the woman also sends off some feminist red flags for me but I don't have the words for the icky feelings.

Either you like paying or you don't. The conditions make it weird to me.

"objectifying" keeps coming to mind. But Idk if that's the right word. But it does sound like a consumer transaction. "I only pay for services I enjoy" kinda thing.

But Idk. My thoughts aren't fully formed.

This is why coffee dates are the go-to.

Yeah I get that but I also can't quite spell out my thoughts on this

I felt it was rude and entitled because that was a very clear 'you pay now' message to what should at least look like a nice spontaneous gesture? I think I would have just paid myself at that point just to not have to say that sentence - I mean how expensive could it have been?

LoopyLou79 · 02-20-2018, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archimedes_Screw

I haven't dated in 18 years. Living vicariously through Keith, Andrea, and Jesse.

#metoo

I've been married ten years, been with my husband 14. Keith sounds pretty smitten at the moment but I'm loving Chemda's questions. They are making me laugh so much I cry.

Paying On Dates
I would offer to pay on dates but a forensic audit of a bill by a man or them not taking the lead is a no from me. I expect my husband to pay when we go out (we share a joint account but he gets paid more even though I'm better qualified

)

Archimedes_Screw · 02-20-2018, 05:07 PM

Keith. I'd date ya.

astrokahn · 02-20-2018, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archimedes_Screw

I met my wife on Yahoo personals in '98. We we're internet friends for a year. Our first date was a picnic in the woods. Only I didn't bring food. I was an idiot 17 year old. Looking back that is a totally valid concern lol

"No food but I brought a knife..."

Archimedes_Screw · 02-20-2018, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astrokahn

"No food but I brought a knife..."

No knife but a big box of condoms. We were both virgins. And I was a dumbfuck. Still am sometimes.

flerchin · 02-20-2018, 08:35 PM

I voted no. The whole paying for stuff game is weird amongst platonic friends, add in gender roles in hetero normative relationships and it's a cluster. Not at all surprising there's an expectations mismatch.

I assume, this is why you date; To find someone compatible with you. She clearly wasn't.

Mrs Flerchin went hiking with me for our first date 18 years ago, so I too am living vicariously through Keith's adventures, and really don't know shit about dating.

astrokahn · 02-20-2018, 10:12 PM

Are we all vicariously dating Keith through Ms. Psychology Doctor? He is a charming fellow.

View Poll Results: Was Keith's date inappropriate when it came time to pay for pool?
Yes	23	69.70%
No	10	30.30%
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll

02-20-2018, 03:54 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mermaid Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: Eating a moonpie Posts: 611	If I went out for drinks with a guy and the guy gave the bartender his card to keep the tab on for the both of us. I would assume the guy was paying for the tab. Because... Why else would he give his card? Maybe I'm confused. You gave your card to the cashier to pay for the game of pool before you began, so that you could be charged for all your games later. When later came.... You didn't want it to be on your card anymore? You didn't want her to tell you that they are charging it now? Also, the entitled thing. Maybe cause this was supposed to be a free coupon bowling date she figured you'd cover the makeup date cause you screwed up the reservation for the free thing. I don't feel like an entitled bratty woman would even be okay with a coupon date to begin with. If you want a girl who splits the tab why not just make that clear before the date? Why play the weird game of "let's see if she reaches" then be salty if she doesn't? Guys are weird. Lanfear, WittyReference and Shanateemanatee like this.
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02-20-2018, 04:04 PM	#13 (permalink)
Mermaid Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: Eating a moonpie Posts: 611	The idea of only being okay with paying for the first date if you hit it off with the woman also sends off some feminist red flags for me but I don't have the words for the icky feelings. Either you like paying or you don't. The conditions make it weird to me. "objectifying" keeps coming to mind. But Idk if that's the right word. But it does sound like a consumer transaction. "I only pay for services I enjoy" kinda thing. But Idk. My thoughts aren't fully formed. This is why coffee dates are the go-to. Lanfear and Shanateemanatee like this.
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02-20-2018, 05:07 PM	#16 (permalink)
Archimedes_Screw Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Hutto Texas Posts: 1,199	Keith. I'd date ya. Keith likes this.
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02-20-2018, 08:35 PM	#19 (permalink)
flerchin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Dallas, TX 5'11" 200# Posts: 885	I voted no. The whole paying for stuff game is weird amongst platonic friends, add in gender roles in hetero normative relationships and it's a cluster. Not at all surprising there's an expectations mismatch. I assume, this is why you date; To find someone compatible with you. She clearly wasn't. Mrs Flerchin went hiking with me for our first date 18 years ago, so I too am living vicariously through Keith's adventures, and really don't know shit about dating. Bucho, Mermaid, Archimedes_Screw and 1 others like this.
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02-20-2018, 10:12 PM	#20 (permalink)
astrokahn Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 551	Are we all vicariously dating Keith through Ms. Psychology Doctor? He is a charming fellow. Shanateemanatee, Apia, Archimedes_Screw and 1 others like this.
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