2843: Dating for Dummies w/ Melody Kamali and Deno DeMartino
 

Stand-Up-Athon results; Keith’s David Bowie exhibit date; studies show that beautiful people believe life is fair and just, and longer penises can deliver more vaginal orgasms than shorter penises; Keith reviews The Quiet Place and Blockers; Tony Robbins says the #MeToo movement is women’s excuse for not dealing with their own failures

Share this episode: Twitter, Facebook & email

Get the show: on iTunes, on Stitcher and RSS feed

I would subscribe immediately to a show where Keith tears A4 sheets of notes in a dismissive and/or exasperated manner.

BOOM.
 

I think it is more helpful if you yell "BOOM! DONE!" after every thing you, um, "accomplish" on the date. Yell it to your date, so they know how it's going.

Also, reiterating my love of tearing up the notes. Yay! (Although, I suppose it has to be for a legit reason. You can't just start tearing paper at random, of course. Or can you? Hm.)

i'm all about the small of the back touch; heightens all your senses and gives you little electric pops and prickles. #drip way to go, Keet!

fish out of water type stories are my absolute favorite movie stories to watch. Overboard has been top 5 since forever ago and it is insanely fucked up. Goldie Hawn is continually victimized throughout. her husband abandons her and then lies to her family about it. there's no indication he was ever going to let them know where she was. she gets kidnapped, placed into coerced servitude, given false memories, and made her captor's wife. then her therapist post-rescue doesn't catch she may have a little Stockholm Syndrome happening and just lets her JUMP OFF A YACHT BACK TO HER KIDNAPPER. good times.

I was concerned Keith was moving too fast. But then that janitor popped up with the mop. Then I knew. Keith’s intuition is spot on. The whoppers were genius. Ya gotta do your FB recon.

A lot has happened to Keith. He’s got a lot to talk about. Looking forward to hearing next album.

Yeah, what gives? It's too late to get over there for it now!

I am pretty sure a YouTube clip featuring Chemda showing off her AB porn voice titled 'I have 10 penises right here' would get huge views.

Clickbait titles is totally the way to go with youtube

Venues are always more work than they need to be in NYC, and so we decided Why aren't we just doing it in other cities as well?

are they moving to LA?

Alright. I suppose I'll allow it. Carry on then!

No, Somerset PA.

I'm so glad Keith is finally listening to his dad and deciding to pursue a career in selling insurance under the tutelage of his dad.

No, you misunderstand.

They're not moving there to quit the show, they're moving there so Keith's dad can help produce the show.

Keiths dads life has been leading up to him being Keith and Chemdas ass prod

it's god damn poetic

My poopsypie and I met on Tinder 2.5 yrs ago. After about a month of dating I quit tinder but I made sure to screenshot our first conversations because I knew that one day I would surprise him with them. BEAT THAT SHIT KEITH

Not to one-up you, but I save the initial conversation AND the first picture I masturbate to.

fuck, dude, i'm not sure what it says about my sweet Bear that he hasn't run screaming from me every step of the way. our first date was my childhood BFF's wedding wherein i was maid of honor. ta-da! i threw him into the deep end of people who know me while i was doing bride stuff in the bridal suite before the ceremony. the man is unflappable.

of note, this was after i'd moved in.

I don't think I could masturbate to pictures. Maybe just the pictures that movie like in Harry Potter world. Or pictures that move continuously like on Pornhub

If you REALLY like her you could print that pic, jizz upon it and then place it in a cute shadow box and give it to her at your wedding.

I do that now just in case. I’ll tell The One that I always knew.

Bad news: My place is covered in ants.

How would one go about romancing a man on the first date?

The exact same thing, right?

If I mentioned an inexpensive candy, bring it. No one loses.

Makes sense.

"Argh me Apia!"
Now you're a pirate couple in my head

The best part is that there's no way that she understands this joke

London, hint hint.

No, that's not ghosting. That's both parties knowing that it's not going further. It's ghosting if he messages you and you completely ignore him (dick move, grow some oves and say you're not into it!! (Not *you*, but the people who do it)).

You can’t ghost accidentally.

I should really wait until the end of the episode to make all my comments...

Re: sneak sex / rape in movies - I really liked 40 Days and 40 Nights but always felt so sick at the end when the "hot" ex girlfriend fucks him while he's passed out and handcuffed to the bed. And then his new gf gets pissed off at him? Huh?! How was that ok???

Video or it didn’t happen.

Guys plz
you can't just end an ep saying it's the last Show in NYC. I'm codependent as fuck. I thought ya'll were about to reveal you actually moved to LA a few months back and everything would be coming from there now. That was an intense 40 something hours till I heard the new episode where you explain that venues are fucking whack.

Now THAT'S what i call ASMR