2879: In the Spirits w/ Julian McCullough

[theycallmepyro]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Am I like, not liberal enough?

Basically, yeah.

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

...

You made some good points in your post though. I’ve wasted time on dating apps where I met damn near the perfect woman. Weeks later I think we’re getting serious. We click on so many levels. Also the fact she put LOOKING FOR SERIOUS in her profile - made me think yeah.

We’re about to have sex. She announces she’s polyamorous. I’ve never seen my penis run so fast. Worst part was I think she thought I’d think it was hot if she brought her girlfriend into the mix... we’re both in our late thirties. I’m not looking for a fuck buddy. Man. Really broke my heart.

...

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Hey Sparrow there’s a lot to this story. I don’t think I told it right/ and or/ yer missing my point.

I’m still cool with this person. There was an understanding that we were dating with an end goal of something serious. Possibly marriage. At no point was I given an indication that monogamous relationship wasn’t an end goal. Maybe. MAYBE she mentioned she was bi. I’ve dated bisexual women before. It’s never been a “well she’s gonna have a GF as well, cuz bi..”

IM NOT SHAMING or judging nor did I ‘punish’ this person for their polyamory. It was something only revealed at the end. It broke my heart. It still does. I wish I could go there. I can’t even hang with her because it’s too confusing.

You say don’t judge people for disclosing personal info. Well. That’s kinda what I’m doing here *eye roll* #hastag. Fml

Duuuuuuude you really might want to work on your storytelling skills.

There is a huge difference between I knew this girl for a few weeks and now I hate her with a passion of a thousand suns for hiding this
Vs
We were in a super serious relationship where I was considering marrriage and looking forward to hanging with her family

[HumbleBee]

That guy was bonkers. Instant fave! Hope he's a guest again soon.

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[indianprincess]

Originally Posted by HumbleBee

That guy was bonkers. Instant fave! Hope he's a guest again soon.

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Same. I came on here after hiding away from the forums for a bajillion years to say this. Loved him. The tender ribbing back and forth reminded me of Jesse Joyce, whom I miss dearly. DEARLY.

As a recovering addict and alcoholic, I have a skeptic curiosity of people - Julian - who says that they can drink normally but hey, if they can do it, good for em. Drink one for me! Or two.

[Keith]

They could. They just choose not to.

[lvsound]

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but that letter Keith read hit me hard. I was in a relationship for 11 years and told she didn't love me the past 8. We have a 6, 8, & 11 year old. Why did we continue if she didn't love me. I built my life around her and this family, and now I resent all of it. I have no friends to turn to and like Chemda said, suicide hotlines are useless, they just rephrase what you say to try to validate your feelings.

I have begun seeing a psychiatrist and therapist, it's not enough. Where do I go next?

[The Girl]

Originally Posted by lvsound

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but that letter Keith read hit me hard. I was in a relationship for 11 years and told she didn't love me the past 8. We have a 6, 8, & 11 year old. Why did we continue if she didn't love me. I built my life around her and this family, and now I resent all of it. I have no friends to turn to and like Chemda said, suicide hotlines are useless, they just rephrase what you say to try to validate your feelings.

I have begun seeing a psychiatrist and therapist, it's not enough. Where do I go next?

That is harsh as fuck. I'm sorry you're going through that.

What's next is accepting that you don't know what's next. Taking time to figure out one item, one step at a time.

For me, it was going to group meetings. Your therapist might know a few to recommend or you can look for meetings that you connect with. Is it Al-anon? Is it a group for recently divorced people?

You can use this forum as a group meeting.

Don't worry alone. It might seem like no one understands but we do. And we're here for you.

Give yourself some credit, you already reached out. You are seeing a therapist and also came here to find some friends and/or let out some emotion.

This is a hard time. Try to be gentle on yourself.

[lvsound]

Originally Posted by The Girl

That is harsh as fuck. I'm sorry you're going through that.

What's next is accepting that you don't know what's next. Taking time to figure out one item, one step at a time.

For me, it was going to group meetings. Your therapist might know a few to recommend or you can look for meetings that you connect with. Is it Al-anon? Is it a group for recently divorced people?

You can use this forum as a group meeting.

Don't worry alone. It might seem like no one understands but we do. And we're here for you.

Give yourself some credit, you already reached out. You are seeing a therapist and also came here to find some friends and/or let out some emotion.

This is a hard time. Try to be gentle on yourself.

I am a extremely private (shy) person, writing here is one of the hardest things I've done, I could never talk at a group meeting. So many say they are here for me, I don't see it, I am still home, alone. I am sorry, I know there is nothing more that you can do.

[Sparrow]

oh hey! consider me in the circle. or however the seating arrangement is here at the KATG Center for Unfucking Yourself. i like circles.

anyway, if writing here was a super hard thing, you did it. awesome. keep on, bruh. this is the finest place i know to spill your guts; even and especially the ugly scary stuff. we all done it. y'all know all my damn dirty laundry. it feels good. 'cause we're all at home, too, with you.

[The Girl]

Originally Posted by lvsound

I am a extremely private (shy) person, writing here is one of the hardest things I've done, I could never talk at a group meeting. So many say they are here for me, I don't see it, I am still home, alone. I am sorry, I know there is nothing more that you can do.

That’s the thing, you’ll have to do uncomfortable things. And, likeSparrow said, you’re doing it.

You don’t have to speak at group meetings. You can even speak just to say you don’t know what to say.

If you’re at home alone and you don’t want to be and there are people who said they’ll be there, take a chance and call one of those people?

If you take tiny chances every day, you’ll feel more confident about doing things you’re uncomfortable with.

You can start a thread where you can tell us what uncomfortable thing you did for the day and how you’re feeling about.

We can join in and tell you what we did that felt funny.

It also helped me to look up podcasts and YouTube videos about anything I was feeling: how to deal with loneliness, what to do when you don’t know what to do, what happens after heartache.

Again, you’re doing it. Here you are. Sharing what scares you. Great job!!


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