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View Poll Results: Has a driver ever kidnapped you when you simply went to check out granite around 4am?
Yes 6 17.65%
No 28 82.35%
Voters: 34. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-14-2018, 03:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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if there's a subsequent round. i mean, they pop right back up. easy breezy.
Up until a certain age yeah, they pop right back up.

For the first time in my life I'm dating someone who comes like immediately!! takes her 2-3 minutes, sometimes less, and I'm the one sitting there with a need for some attention.

Usually we can just keep going but when it's particularly intense for her and she needs a break I end up finishing myself off or faking it.
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Old 06-14-2018, 03:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I end up finishing myself off
i dig this. watching a dude jerk off while i watch is fire and a wonderful opportunity to play with eye contact.
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Old 06-14-2018, 03:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by LoopyLou79 View Post
I havenít got time for secret fake orgasms.
Of course not. Nobody does. Why would it be fake AND secret?
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Old 06-14-2018, 05:02 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Part 2

Anyway Iíve resigned myself to the fact that Keith is having great tantric sex (all be it in a sneaky way) and all his partners thinks heís a machine in bed.

In no way are any women sat around discussing the weird thing someone did when they fake orgasmed only to real orgasm ten minutes later. It will definitely only be about what a sex machine one is if you manage to pull it off
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Old 06-14-2018, 05:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Youíre deliberately being aloof, right?

Like even with the toothbrush talk, youíre deliberately pretending you donít understand, right?

In no way are your children talking about what a goofy mom you are that canít comprehend a simple statement, right?

This is all a joke. Admit it.
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Old 06-15-2018, 12:08 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Kids

Letís be honest, if my kids didnít think I was a fucking moron I wouldnít be doing my job right, thatís the circle of life.

You cloth them, feed them, send them to the best schools and all they do in return is make you out to be an incompetent idiot.
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Old 06-15-2018, 12:18 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Let’s be honest, if my kids didn’t think I was a fucking moron I wouldn’t be doing my job right, that’s the circle of life.

You cloth them, feed them, send them to the best schools and all they do in return is make you out to be an incompetent idiot.
Have you tried being awful? I works. Stockholm syndrome. Kids are so stupid. I love you kids.
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Old 06-15-2018, 02:49 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Hormones

As if to prove my point, Iíve had all out war with daughter number one over the heinous crime of asking her to empty the dishwasher

I suppose me and Mr Loopy should be glad that our gulag like conditions will ensure that they arenít still living in our lovely house when they are forty.

There is a line in Edward Scissor hands that sums it all up about how daughters are nice until they get hormones. I used to love watching supernatural movies with possessed people in it, now all I have to do is go home
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Old 06-26-2018, 07:45 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Keith's Dating Book

"Keith is writing a new book called "Lie To Women But Small So It's Ok"

Keith's 'date improvement' ideas are pretty great. I'd love to see this in KATG store. I feel like Pound Town should be in the title though. Such as...

Pound Town: By Any Scheme Necessary

How to Get to Pound Town

or

Pound Town: An Innovative Guide to Getting It In
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