2893: The Talk w/ Andrea Allan

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Keith

This was answered, but I like you, so I can explain it again.

It's fun to have sex with different people. If the woman swears she's okay in a relationship with me, and she says she's comfortable with the relationship being where it is, and she says that jokes about the seriousness of our relationship are just jokes, then I respect her by believing her and not treating her like a child.

How am I the one playing games?

OR: Are you saying that deep down I know better so I should be ignoring what she says she wants and what she is or isn't okay with?


Aren't you a scientist? You can understand what I'm saying. I know it.

I am a scientist. So when I don't understand something i ask a bunch of questions.

Idk why you think there is an ulterior motive.

I was just completely confused during the show so I asked questions.

I can not relate to either side of this conversation.

Entertaining men is exhausting so I'd never keep dating one (or multiple) I didn't *really* like.

Too much dick out here to be messing with one who doesn't seem to get the picture.

And I have a friend with benefits who is just legitimately my friend so if he were dating someone I would know. Cause that's the kinda thing you talk to your friends about not because it would matter to our situation.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

Sorry but why wouldn't he? He gets to hang out and sleep with them.

If Keith is as honest with them as he claims and it sure sounds like he is then it's up to the women to make up their mind on whether they want to continue.

Us women have been trained forever that we need to wait it out and eventually the rom-com cliche will happen and the man will realize that he loved you all along. But sometimes he's just not that into you.

It just seems messy if one party is saying one thing and obviously doing another.

I dont think acknowledging the inconsistencies and acting accordingly is infantilizing the women.

This feels kinda like that weed thing from the other week. They dont have to take the weed, but you dont have to offer it either.

[BenAtlanta]

Andrea is hilarious. I'd love to hear a whole segment where she plays both Keith and Chemda having a conversation

[Mermaid]

I get the one lady who didn't know that dating multiple people meant having sex with multiple people.

That's the kinda thing you have to make clear.

For safety.

A lot of STDs are spread by skin to skin contact and condoms don't offer protection from them.

I can't blame her for being a bit taken aback about learning her risks just increased exponentially.

[invader]

Whenever I've dated someone with the intention of keeping it casual, I always end up in an area where they like me more than I like them. Then I realized after talking to a bunch of people that, despite what I say, I was acting like a boyfriend even after saying I don't want to be that. In my head I was just acting like a decent person, while staying as honest as possible, but its not that simple. Keith is 100% right there is a muddy middle ground that whenever I try to vocalize it I'm just met with eye rolls and sighs. Even on this show all the stuff that Keith brought up wasn't really addressed but rather explained away, "yes this woman was being manipulative, but that's because..."

Even when listening to the show over the years so many women say that all they want is a casual relationship but then immediately contradict themselves with anecdotes of their recent dating experiences. It's like they are vocalizing how they wish they felt, but not saying how they actually feel.

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

I get the one lady who didn't know that dating multiple people meant having sex with multiple people.

That's the kinda thing you have to make clear.

For safety.

A lot of STDs are spread by skin to skin contact and condoms don't offer protection from them.

I can't blame her for being a bit taken aback about learning her risks just increased exponentially.

Yes absolutely that's a very important point.

But these woman also need to be a little bit realistic. 'He slept with me after the second date but I'm sure he just has coffee with all the other ladies because I'm special' is being silly.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

Yes absolutely that's a very important point.

But these woman also need to be a little bit realistic. 'He slept with me after the second date but I'm sure he just has coffee with all the other ladies because I'm special' is being silly.

I dont feel right calling women silly in situations like this.

In the same way that women are taught they are supposed to feel special, men are taught that they are supposed to make women feel like they are special even if they aren't.

Maybe Keith just did a really good job at making her feel like their time together was special.

In which case, if she's silly for thinking she is special. He's silly for being shocked she feels that way after doing things to make her feel special.

[Keith]

I’m not shocked. I’m amazing.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Chemda made a great point. Keith just got divorced.

I would think not pressuring a recent divorcée into serious exclusivity is a no-brainer.

[Mermaid]

How long before a woman who is interested in him is allowed to ask for an exclusive relationship?