2893: The Talk w/ Andrea Allan

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

Is ending things with what you consider a liar really a bad thing?

He was picking up on her signals that were contrary to their agreement.

Turns out she was lying.

Did he have to wait for her to confirm her lies before he could remove himself from the situation for it to not be condescending?

He could but he doesn't want to, apparently she is not crazy enough for him yet.

While on the other side the girl is apparently hurting and the only thing I'm arguing here is that I want her to empower herself to leave this situation and not wait around until the man makes her leave.

[Enunciated Piffle]

The honorable thing, in any relationship, is to Communicate feelings as they are happening. It’s hard to do.

I don’t get why Keith is not being applauded for his communication.

That being said. I also think if this person is told Keith’s not feeling it, and she’s still in - so be it. Haven’t you ever wanted something a bit more when told you can’t have it??? Let her do what she wants. I don’t get the “she’s a victim” mentality here.

No one knows her mind. But we do know Keith’s. Stop with the speculation.

[Mermaid]

Keith is an adult who can decide if he wants to answer my questions.

If they upset him then he can decide to leave the conversation.

Since we are on the subject of mature adults who are in charge of their own actions and emotions.

[LoopyLou79]

Some people (a lot of people) play games. When you mature you realise honesty is the best policy and you are capable of standing on your own two feet, so if they don’t like it be an adult and move on.

The work colleague grassing on Keith was also not cool. That’s what I mean about the admin associated with multiple partners is too much like hard work.

I agree with both the previous posts.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Mermaid. I say this with respect, (and a little awe) when I say you should have been a lawyer. I’m sure you’ll make a great scientist, but your ability to argue is top notch.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by LoopyLou79

The work colleague grassing on Keith was also not cool.

We don’t use ‘grassing’ here in the states. Is that like ‘crushing’ or being enamored by’ or something?

[LoopyLou79]

A grass is someone that tells tales on you. A snitch.

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

The honorable thing, in any relationship, is to Communicate feelings as they are happening. It’s hard to do.

I don’t get why Keith is not being applauded for his communication.

That being said. I also think if this person is told Keith’s not feeling it, and she’s still in - so be it. Haven’t you ever wanted something a bit more when told you can’t have it??? Let her do what she wants. I don’t get the “she’s a victim” mentality here.

No one knows her mind. But we do know Keith’s. Stop with the speculation.

He talked about it on a podcast. The point is speculation and sparking conversation.

Why not question why someone would want to be in a situationship with someone who isn't on the same page as them?

We've decided to trust his judgement on everything else except his ability to tell whether the person he is talking to is lying to his face? Even though he has repeated said he thinks she's lying.

At what point do we decide it's not worth it? That there are other fish with pussies in the sea?

Moral conflict about hurting someone's feelings?

I'm not making any harsh judgements on Keith because dating is complicated. I think flippantly saying "welp fuck her feelings, that's her problem. he is getting what he wants out of the deal" is weird to me.

[astrokahn]

Oh hai Sparrow. How ya doing?

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

I'm not making any harsh judgements on Keith because dating is complicated. I think flippantly saying "welp fuck her feelings, that's her problem. he is getting what he wants out of the deal" is weird to me.

Lol

Good to see a scientist staying objective. I hear that’s important.