2909: Whac-A-Mole w/ Emily Lubin and Andrea Allan
 

How your hair color is perceived; being a poor sport; Chemda's celibacy update; Emily the Cam Girl; Andrea and self-help meetings and Emily's eating disorder recovery; man tattoos skin completely black and removes genitals and nipples; Emily wants children

Guests:
Andrea Allan
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Emily Lubin
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Love you Andrea!
You do you, boo. Don’t listen to the haters, even the one inside your head. You are fierce and sickening.

People who have multiple physical health conditions would never be questioned for seeking to be well.

Folks will allow you to want to heal every part of your body except your brain.

It has more to do with people's ignorance and disregard for the importance of mental health than it has to do with you Andrea.

Noticing that you have mental ticks and doing something about it is no different than noticing you have something like flat feet and buying the correct insoles.

It's all about doing whats right for your health.

Yahtzee ruuuuuuuuuuules!!!!!!!!!!

❤️ Andrea
 

I ❤️ you Andrea, the things you talk about and the changes you are making are very relatable. The explaination about feelings like dominos is so true, our generation of women were given terrible mixed signals about beauty, sexual liberation and career demands and negotiating those pressures was tough.

Keep fighting

Andrea: listening to your voice break a bit was so moving- don't listen to the asswipes commenting on your "too many" groups. Do what you have to do to make your life work.

Mental health is complicated. A lot of times you have a set of symptoms and then you just see which diagnosis fits the best, even though multiple diagnosis can fit.

My son probably has been diagnosed with ADHD, autism spectrum, sensory processing disorder, and OCD. It looks like he has multiple diagnosises and people can think we just run to a doctor for a diagnosis every time we have a problem and there is no way he can have that many problems at 8. But if you look at the symptoms they pretty much all overlap, and the main problem is how his brain processes everything.

I have C-ptsd and a lot of people in my support groups are diagnosed with PTSD, borderline and bipolar. Again, they don't have three totally different problems. They have three diagnosis for almost the same sets of symptoms.

Andrea, you having multiple issues that need to be addressed and several meetings you go to is actually normal and common, even if your head and people who don't actually know anything thing it isn't.
You are getting healthy and taking care of yourself. Be proud and keep moving forward, even when it is hard. ♥️

People who DON'T go to therapy and support groups are the ones we should be questioning! If you are doing these things you are facing your issues head on, turning you pain into possibility, and growing as a person. If you are not then you are not facing your shit. Every human has stuff to work on, that is the human condition. No one has a perfect childhood. You could have the best parents in the world and they will still be raising you from their own limited perspective, which might have truths that are not in line with what is true for the child. We are put on this earth to learn, grow and heal. Every painful thing is just an opportunity to learn what you are supposed to learn. If you are facing the pain then you are nothing but courageous - it's much easier to numb out and not face anything. Our culture offers 10 billion ways to numb out. Shaming anyone for working on themselves is such an obvious defense mechanism that it's almost funny!

I think being vocal about your own self care and mental health is one of the hardest things a person can do and I love that Andrea Allan is being so open about it all. Honestly I'm kind of going through some of the same kind of revelations in life and hearing Andrea talk about it has made me realize that I need to do some of the same things she's doing like go to therapy and possibly even SLA meetings like she is. I've struggled with self worth, sex and basically don't have the ability to build healthy connections with people and for years it has affected me. I honestly don't have the ability to make friends or have relationships and it has led me down a road where I've hooked up with many people and honestly haven't liked but maybe 2 or 3 of the people. In my head however I feel the need to please these people so they'll accept me and maybe something will build, which...fun fact it never does. I constantly feel like I am awkward, inferior and somehow not good enough, so hookups give me a form of temporary self gratification. I honestly knew it wasn't right but I never stopped and tried finding the root of the problem. So hearing her talk about SLA made me realize that its a problem I also have and need to confront. I commend her for being brave enough to talk about it because it isn't easy. I don't even want to admit to myself that I could have a problem more or less to an entire podcasting audience. So Kudos Andrea, love it when she is on KATG and love Hot Mess Comedy Hour.