296: Advanced Racism

[MichaelG]

At the end did Keet say he sent Chemda to get the car, because it was Raining?

Chivalry is Dead my friends, it died right before our eyes.

Oh wait, he almost kept Spooky from going through the windshield. It is still alive and well.

[Blitzgal]

Ah, fun grocery store stories! I worked at one during college and let me tell you--the clerks DO hate you as much as you think they do. Highlights of my three years in that hellhole:

-- Having a woman throw her groceries at my head because she was running late and I was taking too long. She ran out of the store without any of her shit, including a personal check! If I was really into vengeance, I could have done some fun things with the personal information on that check.

-- Dealing with many men who would either demand that I smile for them, hit on me, or refuse to believe anything I told them unless I got a male manager to come and explain it to them.

-- Working the 6 AM shift on New Year's Day for three years in a row because my manager knew that I would actually show up.

-- Realizing just how many people do not understand the concept of an "electronic eye" that magically knows when their items have reached the front of the belt, and laughing as they get increasingly pissed off as they hold their groceries back while the belt continues to move underneath them.

-- Getting screamed at by old people because their order was $0.02 more than they expected it to be. And they would really get pissed if I just handed them a couple of cents from my own pocket and they had nothing else to yell about.

And regarding those little plastic separators, if people didn't use them I just kept ringing up all the items until somebody noticed that I was overlapping the orders. I hated the job, customers were assholes, and I did whatever I could to make their day a little worse. I still regret not keeping that woman's information and fucking with her a little bit after she threw a glass jar at me.

[IAMjoCanadian]

Max is a great guest. I think he should be a fixture on Mondays. Now Matt on the other hand is getting tiring. Im sorry Matt, you're a good guy and all but I dont like how he always adds to Keet's jokes.

[arcatacat]

There were so many one liners that Max had that Keith and Chemda missed. That guy's hi-larious. I wish I was coming to show #300 just to have a beer with him.

[Dana3262]

Ah, fun grocery store stories! I worked at one during college and let me tell you--the clerks DO hate you as much as you think they do. Highlights of my three years in that hellhole:

-- Having a woman throw her groceries at my head because she was running late and I was taking too long. She ran out of the store without any of her shit, including a personal check! If I was really into vengeance, I could have done some fun things with the personal information on that check.

-- Dealing with many men who would either demand that I smile for them, hit on me, or refuse to believe anything I told them unless I got a male manager to come and explain it to them.

-- Working the 6 AM shift on New Year's Day for three years in a row because my manager knew that I would actually show up.

-- Realizing just how many people do not understand the concept of an "electronic eye" that magically knows when their items have reached the front of the belt, and laughing as they get increasingly pissed off as they hold their groceries back while the belt continues to move underneath them.

-- Getting screamed at by old people because their order was $0.02 more than they expected it to be. And they would really get pissed if I just handed them a couple of cents from my own pocket and they had nothing else to yell about.

That is sooo funny. Every one of these things (except the first one) happened to me at one time or another while working at a grocery store.

[Rhian]

I still can't believe that I missed a live show about the ghetto. Blasphemous.

[DanClass]

Originally Posted by Blitzgal

Ah, fun grocery store stories! I worked at one during college and let me tell you--the clerks DO hate you as much as you think they do. Highlights of my three years in that hellhole:

.

i mostly cleaned the floors and stocked but i'd have to work the register and i fucking hated it

i think mainly because i wasnt on the register long enough to learn to not give a shit if the customers were mad

who invented the register that locks up if you mess up punching in buttons? how does that increase your productivity? if you want to steal from the register, you just steal from it
if i hit the wrong key punching in the fucking 20 digits from a check why do i then need to wait for the fat ass manager to waddle over and unlock the god damn thing?

i hated the people who would try and listen to the beep from the scanner and catch me double scanning their shit

i didnt care; here ya go, next item goes straight into the bag no scanning , happy ?



or if i didnt know the code for the fancy ass apples i'd enter the shit can cheap variety and they'd get a few dollars off (fuck looking those codes up, i hardly knew which type of fruit was what) most of the old fuckers would say "that's the wrong type of apples!"

ok old bitch your bill is now 5 dollars more, happy?
no they'd keep bitchin about how expensive everything is

price checks? not on my line; if something didn't scan, then i ask "how much was this?" fucking hit the whatever button and enter that price, if they didnt know it was a quarter

i did get a few packs of free smokes there which was nice

and if you got thirsty or wanted a snacky snack while stocking groceries, then items sometimes get damaged and might as well eat some of it before it goes in the damage pile

there was this one manager in perdido key delchamps who just wanted to find something to bitch at me about; i was stocking the beer section one summer holiday weekend and everyone is buying up some redneck hillbilly cheap beer from the cooler section and instead of walking all the way back to the back and getting another load of beer i mosey across the isle and load up from the warm beer section , same shit beer and we were totally out in the cold beer section so i thought i might save the store a couple sales..... who am i kidding, i just wanted to walk less
well shit head finds me doing this and stops me and says over and over

"i am not impressed dan, i am NOT impressed"

i'm standing there thinking about this bit of managerial guidance and it hits me that "impressed" is a neither inherently positive or negative state of mind and i kindly inform him of this

as his face turns this crimson shade , i then add "so your statement leaves me wondering whether my actions meet with your approval or disapproval"

he never did respond

wonder if he's had his first heart attack yet

[MichaelG]

My Family was/is in the grocery buisness,

Eveytime we get together they all have a story about a customer. Just like kids parties, the shittie customers make the best stories.

[default]

paper or plastic?

such a hard question to anwser

[Jenna_f]

Originally Posted by benjita

And the best way to get back at the guy who left jizz in the shampoo bottle....

Tell him you got pregnant from it.

How does that work exactly?