3067: Suicide Solution w/ Trey Galyon

[Venatore]

*raises hand*

I'm late and catching up on shows now, but to answer the poll: I just turned 32. A potent combination of childhood trauma, religious parents, and a total dearth of self esteem/body image issues has resulted in not having dated at all. I wouldn't say that I have social anxiety, as I don't fear interacting with others; it's more that major depression convinced me for a long time that trying to reach out, platonically or romantically, was selfish and harmful. Though I desperately desired these things, I felt I would just be bothering people and wasting their time.

I've been stepping out of my shell more as of late, and meeting everybody at this year's KATG week was one of several opening salvos. I did my best not to come off as a weirdo and no one chased me away with torches, so I think it went well.

[lizsquiz]

Originally Posted by Venatore

*raises hand*

I'm late and catching up on shows now, but to answer the poll: I just turned 32. A potent combination of childhood trauma, religious parents, and a total dearth of self esteem/body image issues has resulted in not having dated at all. I wouldn't say that I have social anxiety, as I don't fear interacting with others; it's more that major depression convinced me for a long time that trying to reach out, platonically or romantically, was selfish and harmful. Though I desperately desired these things, I felt I would just be bothering people and wasting their time.

I've been stepping out of my shell more as of late, and meeting everybody at this year's KATG week was one of several opening salvos. I did my best not to come off as a weirdo and no one chased me away with torches, so I think it went well.

Fuuuuuuck you, welcome to the forums!

[litlokc]

Hi Apia, Yes, I would like to be in a relationship. I'm not sure how to answer the what am i looking for, part... for a woman, open to dating. It feels ridiculous to think of marriage now but open to it. I'm not looking to save anyone or have them save me... be it from debt, family, god or whatever else.
Venatore, welcome and thank you. I agree with your list, all those are on my list of what helped get me here. My childhood trauma, not the worst out there... But as a teen i blocked the whole idea of dating anyone out. I was done with that small town, i knew I wanted out, and knew most were not going to leave. So I found ways to not be noticed (to avoid being picked on) and focused on keeping busy to get by. I don't know where you live Venatore, but you get my respect for jumping out of your shell for KATG week. I've thought about going for several years but NY, and all the unknowns of people, cabs, subway, cost scare me out of going. I trust the KATG listeners over general population, I met a couple of listeners at Brolo's concerts, and a comic's show. Everyone says keep trying, and try not be the creep. good luck
Lizzy1e, thank you for sharing, it honestly helps to hear. I am very happy things are going well for you. I like the Team Africa banner.

[Beth Yaz-Pistachio]

Originally Posted by Venatore

.....no one chased me away with torches, so I think it went well.

(Yes, I did just add this to the list of "KATG t-shirt slogans that should exist".)

[FingerLakes]

Originally Posted by Venatore

*raises hand*

I'm late and catching up on shows now, but to answer the poll: I just turned 32. A potent combination of childhood trauma, religious parents, and a total dearth of self esteem/body image issues has resulted in not having dated at all. I wouldn't say that I have social anxiety, as I don't fear interacting with others; it's more that major depression convinced me for a long time that trying to reach out, platonically or romantically, was selfish and harmful. Though I desperately desired these things, I felt I would just be bothering people and wasting their time.

Fuck yoooooou and welcome
thanks for enlightening us. Bless up on doing those hard steppings out of your comfort zone. Hope you get the help to get out of that religious, traumatic anxiety <3 <3 <3 <3

[Archimedes_Screw]

Welcome Venatore!

[FingerLakes]

Originally Posted by litlokc

What would you like to know FingerLakes? I will try to answer. I guess I'll start by Male, 39, straight. Is it a choice? No, I'm filled with anxiety most of the time. so in part i feel i will only be a burden for someone. So i don't try. But when i'm feeling more confident i am on apps am trying more often now. In those rare chances, I can talk with women. But generally it feels like an interview or a monolog.

Fuck meee for missing this post!
I can find apps to be extra alienating. You feel like all these people are only a click away and they say they're open to so many things but end up being the most closed off and rude assholes. It's easy to put your hopes in them and get let down and keep doing it cuz it's what you know.

Ever consider paying for it? Or are you more interested in a relationship than sex? I was gonna fuck this muscular college jock rent boy a few years back but he had such a nasty attitude I ended up blocking him instead.

[Venatore]

Originally Posted by litlokc

Venatore, welcome and thank you. I agree with your list, all those are on my list of what helped get me here. My childhood trauma, not the worst out there... But as a teen i blocked the whole idea of dating anyone out. I was done with that small town, i knew I wanted out, and knew most were not going to leave. So I found ways to not be noticed (to avoid being picked on) and focused on keeping busy to get by. I don't know where you live Venatore, but you get my respect for jumping out of your shell for KATG week. I've thought about going for several years but NY, and all the unknowns of people, cabs, subway, cost scare me out of going. I trust the KATG listeners over general population, I met a couple of listeners at Brolo's concerts, and a comic's show. Everyone says keep trying, and try not be the creep. good luck

Thanks! I actually just moved temporarily to NYC (I'm working here until July). It's definitely a lot to take in, so if you decide to visit, things like YouTube videos on navigating the subway or even looking over a map of the area and understanding where things are in relation to each other are very helpful. (I've gotten lost before and was able to find my bearings without having to consult my phone, which will know to just strand me on a highway mid-trip when it becomes sentient and wants me dead.) The cost, unfortunately, is going to be intimidating no matter what. The trash pays rent to stay on the sidewalks.

I also kind of gave up on the idea of dating but I know that when I get old and look back on my life, part of me is always going to wonder what would have happened if I had just tried. I'm trying to undo decades of negative self-talk now, which has had the effect of my vacilating heavily between "Just get out there, someone is bound to like you" and "LOL you are uniquely and universally unattractive, the sooner you accept that the faster you can move on from this."

I self medicate(d) with food and gained a ton of weight when I was younger, which, though it didn't feel intentional, some have suggested may have been a subconscious means of keeping people away. Well, it worked, LMAO. Working on getting fit now is another leg of trying to gain confidence and get out there.

So.

Yeah.

[Venatore]

Originally Posted by Apia

Hi!

Did we talk at KATG week?

Hello! We may have spoken briefly (I wasn't good at matching forums aliases with people at the party). I'm Val, and I was hovering around a la the 'wojak party meme' fellow.

Did I just cite a meme? Jesus.

[Venatore]

❤❤❤ Thank you. I sincerely appreciate the kind words.