3154: Impulse Control w/ Calvin Cato
 

Shane Gillis and SNL revisited; Chemda’s Depo-Provera sex shot; the audience’s KATG dreams; celibacy; Keith as a gay man; Weird but True: using emojis = getting sex, the 12,000 calorie burger, Paris etiquette, woman dreamt she ate her engagement ring and she really did, man pulls 220-ton tugboat with 1 finger, brain chip zaps you when you think about overeating

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Calvin the early bird. It was great seeing him crack up on the JFOD episode. Calvin is a hilarious sweetheart.

Yup, that was worth seeking out (1:46:53)...

1) When Calvin said Keith had "Daddy Energy" I audibly said "Mmmmm" at the same time Chemda said "Eeewww!"

2) re: what kind of women would [me, a gay] like. In college I fell in love with the professor of my Violence Against Women in Literature class. She was in her early 50s or late 40s, had a daughter in college and ran marathons. She was the smartest person I'd ever taken a class from, just fucking ripping these novels and themes to pieces and analyzing things down to the punctuation. I was enamored. I felt giddy to see her talk. I felt butterflies when I had to go to her class.

I told my friends I was in love with a woman and they laughed so hard and so long that I ran out of the apartment. When we all calmed down and I returned they asked me what I would do with her: "I-I dunno! Hug her! And cuddle her! ALOT! Just listen to her read me the articles she writes." So there's that. So if I make Keith laugh like Kyle does, maybe my wetdreams will come truuuue!

3) I think Keith is a Stonewall gay. Boxers is so cheesy like an Applebees. Rockbar is a bit too much. Stonewall is classic and kind of divey and often has stand up on the second floor.

EDIT
2B)On the night before the last day of class I decided confess my love but didn't know how to tell talk about my childish crush with such a sophisticated woman. My friends convinced me to get her cocholate; everyone likes chocolate. I went to her office (I didn't have to take the final cuz I already had an A+ in the class, obviously). We talked (she talked, I fawned) she gave me a few novels to read and I brought out the chocolates. She said she couldn't take them because she was dieting to run a marathon. I was crushed. It was a good book