3186: You Don’t Think I Know What You’ve Done w/ Lucie Pohl
 

James Dean and checking your daughter’s hymen revisited; The Valentine’s Ghost Text Mystery; Roman Polanski’s 6th child rape allegation; Keith’s dad, relationships, and gaslighting; 2019’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees

Guest:
Lucie Pohl
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My parents are immigrants from conservative backgrounds (aren’t they all), and they weren’t crazy enough to actually check our hymens, but it felt pretty damn close as far as ungodly restrictions went, or rather godly restrictions since religion was definitely a strong presence there, which I could go on about.

We were fully expected to stay virgins until marriage, and my folks barely trusted my female friends, much less males, bc they really believed American girls would lead us down the path to slutsville, or something. Jezebels...that was literally the word they used.

Well, that ship happily still sailed despite it all in HS when a guy Id know since 5th grade, from since we’d had the longest crush and awkwardest ongoing flirtation known to man, which eventually culminated in lapsed moments of all my ingrained fear melting away in that last month before he moved away cross country. This was possible under my hawk parents, bc I was an epic sneak disguised with an innocent face. But I was plagued with guilt for some time, bc I was afraid. Almost like I thought they could see me and know.

There were guys that I knew from growing up in our background that would actually say shit like, “non-virgins are sluts” and that “guys who tolerated or ended up with such used whores were cucks” (before that word was even cool).

They sounded like how incels now sound, but before incels were a thing we knew about, only they were not (except the odd Uber religious ones who took the whole virginity thing as a gender neutral rule). They seemed to actually think it, and they were fucking around in the height of hypocrisy. Those rules didn’t apply to boys.

I even had a guy I knew explain once that he would date girls, and sift through the “sluts” to find someone who’s “virtues were intact”. How? He said he would try to seduce them. If they so much as kissed him back or let him kiss them, they failed. If they let him hit any other base, they failed. Not that he would stop them, oh no, in fact, he’d try his best to “hit a home run”, but if it succeeded, it was going to be a “hit and run”. I think it was ultimately a mix of misogyny, a fear of being cheated on, and fragile egos that informed their line of thinking. I did find out later that he’d been cheated on.

It didn’t matter for me bc I grew up not being able to see them as sexual entities, but as cousins of some type, though we were unrelated, due to being part of the same community and growing up together.

I later found out if you looked hot, you were somehow exempt from those generalizations of being too slutty for having a real relationship with. Either that, or I cucked one of them epically, who was really attractive and importantly not from within the community where I’d grown up, but that I’d met at a wedding out of state. We had a decent relationship, and did ask me to marry him 1 year in, but there were other complications.

Since him, I have not being to connect with one of them. There’s just so much traditionalist expectation, far beyond not being a virgin, that makes it dead on arrival. So I “date out”, as they call it, bc somehow they simultaneously feel threatened by me and entitled to me in a way that still baffles me.

I loved the talk about narcissists. I was with one for 7 years. At the end (right before he ran off with someone he once reported to HR) he suggested we go to couples counseling ... not to repair what was going wrong, but because, he said, "I want to find out why I can't totally break up with you." Thanks, pal.

OMG when Chemda was describing her mystery text I just stopped what I was doing and listened with my mouth open in shock. The exact same thing happened to me, but because I'm in Canada I guess it didn't make the rounds. I was worried my phone had a virus.

Luckily my valentines date was with a friend this year, so no exes got my textes.

Same happened to me!! My boyfriends phone sent me “happy valentines!! 😚😚😚”. Yes, it fucking messed with my head majorly because he’s never given a reason for me to think he does cheat.

What's up with that 11-month old Rock & Roll Hall of Fame announcement?


The ceremony was back in March...

Y'all. I was listening to Keith reading about how I walk my dog WHILE I was walking my dog. Incredible.

My wife got one of those valentine's day texts from her friend. Mild confusion and no fighting resulted.

The short version of the Valentine's Day texts:

A company named Syniverse, which provides networking services, later took blame for the messages being delayed. Syniverse said a single server was at fault: that server failed on February 14th, trapping messages waiting to be sent out; the server was only brought back online on November 7th. When that happened, all of the messages were finally delivered.

I used to manage a small ISP. Every now and then we'd find a machine turned off. Why is it off? Dunno. Who turned it off? Dunno. Well, turn it on.

And sometimes then you'd remember why it was off. :)