3200: Extreme Interrogation Tactics w/ Calvin Cato

[marykae]

1. I enjoy getting cards from far away family but don't expect them from my partner and don't give them.

2. I thought Chemda was upset because she laid everything out and just wanted Xerxes to think of one thing on his own. I am still on Xerxes side with this but that was my thought until....

3. Andrea brought up relationship PTSD which is so real and I suffer from it really badly. I am a messier adhd person and my last boyfriend was so clean and so neat and made no attempt to understand my issues until he knew it was over as a last ditch. I know I'm not perfect to live with but I don't deserve emotional abuse about it.

My current boyfriend is also a super clean person but so much more understanding. I'm better at loading the dishwasher but don't always remember. When my boyfriend comes home from work and immediately starts doing the dishes I start to panic and my anxiety shoots through the roof. This has nothing to do with my boyfriend and everything to do with my ex.

We don't argue much. But the other night we were arguing about something and in the middle of it I realized I was responding to my ex and not my boyfriend and I just started crying and apologizing. We are over three years on. It's better than it was at the beginning but I obviously still suffer.

It does start to feel better but just because you didn't go to war or get kidnapped or something doesn't mean you can't have ptsd.

[jjrtootle]

Originally Posted by Apia

I was tame. No poll like how cool is Apia?
1.very
2.extremly
3.the coolest

For example

There's no science there! It would just be 100% on option 3.

[Scrumpty]

Thought let me listen to this episode at work because i needed to here the self reflection Chemda needed to go through.
I am tearying up at work hearing about Xeres being the cutest fuckin man in the world!
And yes I AM on my period. Which I think is why I felt emotional lol damn hormones !

[Rune]

Tbh, I’ve never kept a card. For me, they eventually end up cradling the other contents of my trash can. The stuff people tend to write on cards always seems vaguely yearbook-y. Either they’re very generic, or they sign something “with love” Hallmark mass produced. I’ve never felt anything when I’ve opened them. I feel the same way about flowers.

[Keith]

I wish there was a way where everyone who said cards aren’t important on their birthday didn’t get one from their loved one and then was showed how they voted on the other day’s poll.

“Yeah it’s not important but you still could have done it!!!”

[Lanfear]

I think I didn't get what Chemda meant when she said 'give me a card' - from the explanation today it sounds more like she would like to get a well thought out deeply emotional love-letter.

Which to me is different and also a hard ask because not everybody is good at putting their feelings into words like that. Luckily Xerxes is amazing and crushed the assignment.

So I voted 'cards are not important' because what I considered a birthday card is just some 'happy birthday, hope you have a great day I love you bla bla bla' which will end up in the recycling in a few weeks

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Keith

I wish there was a way where everyone who said cards aren’t important on their birthday didn’t get one from their loved one and then was showed how they voted on the other day’s poll.

“Yeah it’s not important but you still could have done it!!!”

Challenge accepted. Get back to me in June.

[Rune]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

I think I didn't get what Chemda meant when she said 'give me a card' - from the explanation today it sounds more like she would like to get a well thought out deeply emotional love-letter.

Which to me is different and also a hard ask because not everybody is good at putting their feelings into words like that. Luckily Xerxes is amazing and crushed the assignment.

So I voted 'cards are not important' because what I considered a birthday card is just some 'happy birthday, hope you have a great day I love you bla bla bla' which will end up in the recycling in a few weeks

The love letter is a whole nother animal. Now that I can get behind!

[punk'n]

I voted no to the card thing because my love language is more the stuff that Xerxes did. If my bf cooks or cleans, I feel extra loved. If I mention that I am craving something sweet and he comes home the next day with half a dozen fresh macarons from my favorite bakery (happened last week), I know he gets me.

If he cooked 3 meals in one day and I had massages and sex, I wouldn't even think about a card!

But Chemda expressed how she felt, and instead of running from it, Xerxes NAILED IT. You guys are a super great match. I love it.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Chemda doesn't come across as high maintenance. So it was weird to hear a hallmark card is a big deal. After listening to this show it sounds more like a card is something really important to her. Most of us are used to a card being some frivolous/ throw away.

There's a difference between being a Pretty Princess and voicing your needs. Cool to hear Chemda being open enough to talk it out on show.