3248: Love in the Time of Corona
 

Quarantine, grocery shopping, cam girls, vasectomies, and restaurant-worthy sandwiches; Joe Biden and Keith’s dad continue to defeat Bernie Sanders; Brother Love, Tennessee gun owner

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Thank you for working so hard to get episodes out. I truly appreciate it.

A timeline of Trump's coronavirus statements:

Jan. 22: "It's going to be just fine. We have it totally under control."

Jan. 24: "It will all work out well."

Jan. 30: "We think we have it very well under control."

Feb. 7: "… as the weather starts to warm & the virus hopefully becomes weaker, and then gone."

Feb. 10: "I think the virus is going to be -- it's going to be fine."

Feb. 14: "... we’re in very good shape."

Feb. 19: "I think it's going to work out fine."

Feb. 24: "The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA."

Feb. 25: "You may ask about the coronavirus, which is very well under control in our country. We have very few people with it ..."

Feb. 26: "Because of all we've done, the risk to the American people remains very low."

Feb. 28: "I think it's really going well."

Feb. 28: "It's going to disappear. One day, it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

Feb. 28: "This is their new hoax."

March 4: "Some people will have this at a very light level and won't even go to a doctor or hospital, and they'll get better."

March 10: "... it will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away."

March 11: "I think we're going to get through it very well."

March 12: "It's going to go away. ... The United States, because of what I did and what the administration did with
China, we have 32 deaths at this point..."

March 15: "This is a very contagious virus. It's incredible. But it's something that we have tremendous control over."

March 16: "If you're talking about the virus, no, that's not under control for any place in the world."

March 17: "I've always known this is a, this is a real, this is a pandemic … I've felt that it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."

No way Biden can win against Trump especially if Hillary, specifically, was to be his V.P. Too many angry Bernie Bros. are going to vote for Trump if Bernie doesn't get the nomination. It's like the DNC learned nothing four years ago.

Quarantined
 

My wife doesn’t want me to get within 6 feet (2 meters) let alone touch her.
I WAS traveling a lot and have had to be at work. She is unhappy and scared. I’m not mad at her or anything, I get it. It makes me sad because I want to at least hug her to make us both feel better. It’s hard.

If you are living together it doesn't matter. You might as well.

Speaking about school, I work at a university here in Montreal. Obviously everyone is working from home. The government closed all schools for 2 weeks, so all classes are cancelled until the 30th then we're offering all courses online for the rest of the semester including final exams. At one point I heard grumblings that this might risk the whole semester for our students but I really hope that isn't the case and they still get the credits.

This is insane and I agree with you Keith, it's going to be more like a month+ than weeks...

And yeah, we weren't allowed to work from home until we were required to (assholes!). I love it! Might just tell them I want to keep it up after :D

It’s obviously awful.
Everything is VERBOTEN.
I’m waiting for the total shutdown to come.
Things I will be allowed to do than:

1.Going to the supermarket
2.walking the dog once a day

This was a lot of fun as always, but for the next ep can you please also have Andrea and/or Julia Skype into the call and laugh at you guys as they sit 10 or so feet away from their mics?

Motherfuck 2020
 

We had a 5.7 earthquake that shook us out of sleep 7am on my off day, and started hurling things across the room here in UT. The airport is down and flooded. The Mormon temple Moroni statue lost its trumpet lol. We’re still getting scattered ”tremors” in the high 3s. I’m getting the hang of feeling out magnitude like a goddamn human seismometer. We have no running water, but thank Corona we’re stockpiled. Ironically, the earthquake seems like it’s undermining the social distancing efforts. Power is out in some parts, but thankfully we have it. What an eventful year this is turning out to be. Stay safe out there, all.

Thanks to the poll, I’m now wondering if anyone was getting laid while it hit. Must be quite the experience to have the ground beneath you gyrating as well.