326: Chavs are Bollocks, Innit?

[arcatacat]

There's this truck that's always parked by the side of a house about 3 blocks from where I live... "Homicide, Suicide, Accidental Death" stenciled on the side door, and this website: http://www.crimescenecleaners.com/. And the nasty part is that there are a couple of mop buckets that sit under a hedge next to the sidewalk all the time as if the guy cleans out the blood, guts and gore, then just tosses it into the street to get rid of it.

[MichaelG]

Wrong Matt

"Almost Perfect" as Owen Kronski, is one of his best work.
Andy Dick is a genius


The original moon landing Film was never shown. When it was shown on TV, they pointed a camera on a monitor to broadcast out tot he real world

[jwdd27]

GREAT SHOW, not least because my story was on it - feel free to use the follow up stories as well, they're on the 325 thread.

And I've still got a couple more about this fucker (one of my best friends etc etc - Chemda was right, it's only guys who stay friends after beating the shit out of each other)

And also, please can Chemda do her English accent on one of the shows soon - so funny.

EDIT: Oh my god, just listened until the end - perfect song. Have you seen the "Dirty Harry" pics, which are three years old BTW. Fucking parasites.

[MichaelG]

ANDY DICK LICKING

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/0...at_the_co.html

[Cubby]

Originally Posted by benvh

My mom always bought a ton of bread and kept it in the freezer. She wouldn't even leave one loaf out. If you wanted a couple slices for a sandwich or whatnot you'd have to defrost them in the microwave. If you were making toast you could just toast it frozen. What a pain in the ass. Sure there's no mold, but every slice of bread is dried out and tastes like freezer burn.

And all the pieces somehow shrink in the freezer and are too small to make samiches. My mom does this to this day. I just put bread in the fridge if I'm gonna be gone for a few days and it doesn't mold. The freezer is just unnecessary roughness!

[Canuck]

Originally Posted by stjoe

Ahhhhh. Look at you. So green, yet still fucking.

Guess *I* better keep a civil tongue in my head for a while until my green fades then.

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by benvh

That and bread is like 1.50 per loaf.

What do you buy, Wonderbread? The fridge is a good place for it, though. My mother once read somewhere that keeping your peanut butter in the pantry caused cancer so she keeps it in the fridge. I hate trying to spread cold peanut butter on bread, it always breaks the shit up! And I think the peanut butter/cancer thing is bullshit, but she still does it fifteen years later!

[starscream]

Cold peanut butter ain't worth the cancer it prevents. And cold bread sucks too.

Those clean up crews do a pretty good job, though they're hard to find if you're not in a city. My mother is a real estate agent and listed a house a guy had killed himself in, very messily at that, and it took her three weeks to find a company to come in and take care of it.

Then it fell to me to clean the rest of the non-organic mess out of the place since nobody in this guy's family wanted anything to do with him. Which worked out pretty well since I got to keep his car and the hundreds of CDs he had. One of the ones I kept though, I later opened up and saw a spot on it. I tried to rub it off but nothing happened, so I went to lick my finger and had this flash of the rainbow stickers I had scraped off the car, the broadway soundtrack CDs I'd traded in, and then the ridiculous amount of medication and herbal remedies I'd thrown out of the kitchen and realized why this guy killed himself. And even though I would imagine AIDS can't live on a CD for very long, I feel like a narrowly dodged a bullet.

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by starscream

Those clean up crews do a pretty good job, though they're hard to find if you're not in a city. My mother is a real estate agent and listed a house a guy had killed himself in, very messily at that, and it took her three weeks to find a company to come in and take care of it.

Gross, the real estate agent has to do that? Why don't the police arrange that sort of thing? Don't they have to investigate suicides just to determine no crime has been committed?

We had an elderly neighbor kill himself several years after his wife had died. He blew his head off with a shotgun. I was already gone at college at that point so I didn't get to hear the whole story, so I don't know the details about who cleaned everything up, etc. His body wasn't found for a week afterward. I asked my mom why the hell she didn't hear a shotgun blast from less than a hundred feet away, and she figures he must have done it during the day when everyone in the neighborhood was at work.

I saw that episode of Insomniac, too. That job is assed out.

[paul_r]

Originally Posted by starscream

Then it fell to me to clean the rest of the non-organic mess out of the place since nobody in this guy's family wanted anything to do with him. Which worked out pretty well since I got to keep his car and the hundreds of CDs he had. One of the ones I kept though, I later opened up and saw a spot on it. I tried to rub it off but nothing happened, so I went to lick my finger and had this flash of the rainbow stickers I had scraped off the car, the broadway soundtrack CDs I'd traded in, and then the ridiculous amount of medication and herbal remedies I'd thrown out of the kitchen and realized why this guy killed himself. And even though I would imagine AIDS can't live on a CD for very long, I feel like a narrowly dodged a bullet.

some info i dug up:

"The longevity depends on where the virus is. Left lying on a desk for example, it won't last long at all. HIV is a relatively fragile virus and is easily killed by drying out, UV light (i.e. sunlight) and basic detergents and cleansers (e.g. household soap). It will probably last only a matter of hours, if not minutes.

However, in unclotted blood (at the other extreme) it can be a different story. Although the virus viablity declines an awful lot, active virus has been cultured from syringes containing blood after many days."
http://experts.about.com/q/Immunolog...-Longevity.htm