3284: How to Podcast w/ Katharine Heller
 

Pedophile Chris D’Elia revisited; Juneteenth; OMAT; Father’s Day, birthdays, and The Malleys; President Trump’s white supremacy not-so-hidden messages; the other side of the story: a past abuser writes in

Guest:
Katharine Heller
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I know there’s been a lot of talk about the statute of limitations for sex crimes lately. Without weighing in on whether the author of today’s letter admitting to assault should come forward, it’s worth noting that the statute of limitations for sexual assault varies by state. There are states where it can extend based on when the victim discovers or remembers the crime. There are states with no statute of limitations for rape (and depending, this could be deemed rape). It’s not clear cut, and simply being a couple of decades ago doesn’t necessarily mean someone can’t be charged. It also doesn’t necessarily affect whether they can be sued civilly (where they lose money but not freedom).

It’s a state by state question. And - rightly or wrongly - something to consider before coming forward and admitting to a crime.

And on the flip side, it might not be too late for legal remedies for people who suffered sexual assault.

There were 88 Facebook ads. The 8th letter is H. So 88=H H or Heil Hitler. It’s half of the number 1488. 14 being the Fourteen Words, is a reference to the fourteen-word slogan "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children,"
There are no more dogwhistles now.

What I also noticed in the Officer Karen McMuffin audio is that as she's crying as dispatch is trying to reach out about real problems going on live!

The only real problem is her contaminated Karen McMuffin and that nobody thanks her any more. Cmon Keith.

I bet if you saw her, a random police officer, and you said, "Thank you," that she's the kind of asshole that says, "You're welcome."

I would advise against a public statement according the moleststion. This would lead to lots of speculation among the community and likely out the victim.

I liked Keith's advice way more.

Keith: do you think if you lived in another country and were hearing all the news going on in the US, would you legally have to “X” the United States on your globe?

I think this is what we partly did.
New York was super fun and we have seen lots of the US in the past but now it seems insane.

Karen McMuffin
 

Great name first off! Lol. My friend mentioned she said she was sleep deprived and up for days which can lead to irrational emotional breakdowns and other major issues. As someone with autism and low blood sugar issues, I can become very manic and paranoid as well at times I havent eaten in a while and can be irrationally emotional, usually I can get into fights about my opinions online and rant about how stupid society and religion is and piss a lot of people off, i think mcmuffins problem was filming her meltdown and putting online, out of context for everyone to misread as her being a crazy jerk. I can understand her paranoid sentiment at the moment of her being in a state of meltdown, but to put sed paranoid sentiment out publicly in such a time in the world, was a poorly thought out action.

Cadaver Dogs
 

The mystery of the holes at the Malley farm has been part of the KATG lore from the very beginning but with everything that’s come out recently there’s almost no way that there wasn’t some nefarious purpose behind them. We need to set up a go fund me to hire someone to come on to the property with cadaver dogs and find out what was really going on. I swear, this whole father Malley saga is just one step away from being a full on murder mystery docu-series on Netflix.

Oh and y’all would need a film crew to record the dogs finding all the bodies.

Brothervlad: She was up for a couple of days?

Maybe her dog died too.

Yes, the problem MIGHT be that she videotaped it and posted it. ;)

I will say I go back and forth about this! It's complicated. I just wish more people took personal responsibility, but I hear you. Thx for listening

That is probably where family cats went. You can't mock the cat in its presence but you can bury it in the back yard after making the kids dig the grave.

She's back!
 

Always nice hearing Katharine Heller on the show. She has such a great laugh and fits so nicely into the show, very natural.

Concerning the 10pm TXT from Mother Malley to Keith about missing Father's Day. Did she really send it, or did FM send from her phone?

Oooooh didn’t think of that!!! Good question!!


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So the abuser-talk to a therapist first before going forward with anything. People react differently to trauma. The victim might remember or his brain might have buried it to protect him. He might be in denial, he might not be. You just never know how someone is going to react. And if you do a public statement-that’s cause rampant speculation and god forbid if someone guesses what happened. As great as it is that you are admitted that you fucked up wnd seem self-aware that you don’t want to make it about you-you need to wait for him to say something, if he ever does. And go to therapy to work through what you did. You’ll be able to provide them with more information than you can to a podcast and they can hopefully lead you in the right direction. And feel free to shop around for therapists. If you get one who just wants to harp on you for what you did versus helping you through it, or you aren’t comfortable, find another one. There are many online options as well.


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Literally finally stopped being lazy and made a forum account just to reply about a few things in the abuser letter.

I wanted to say as a therapist, the mandated reporting(have worked in two different states now and has been valid across both) is for child abuse, active/intent/plan suicidal ideation, and homicidal ideation. Like you seriously have to have a plan with those two, or we have to really really sick where we don’t think you can consent. That second one is real iffy, unless you have a therapist who is inexperienced and afraid to ask the hard questions. Then get a different therapist because, I don’t know, it’s our job to ask the hard questions? As far as child abuse it has to be to someone who is a child. Aka the child is/could be in danger. If that person is an adult it doesn’t qualify. If whatever the child protective services have already been involved for this situation, it also doesn’t qualify. So yes, therapy therapy therapy.

On another side as someone who has been sexually abused multiple times by multiple people(I became a therapist for a reason and have been through lots of therapy for a reason) it was incredibly helpful for me when it was acknowledged by my first (teenage years) abuser. He was a boyfriend and even just him acknowledging “yeah I knew you weren’t comfortable with it” was a floodgate to me starting to no longer blame myself for things I thought I was at fault in because I didn’t know how to stop it when “no” didn’t work and I wasn’t violent towards him, continued the relationship for a year, and while wasn’t really consensual blamed myself for.... 10 or so years? I couldn’t really take my own blame out of it until that happened, but( and a heavy but here) that was just me and where I was at in my healing. I think just a general apology and then if he pushes it then the conversation gets open. But also therapy, because otherwise it could quickly turn into all about the abusers guilt and not the survivor’s pain. Or go to a therapist together! I do family work, am trained in it, I would totally do a session about that if it was beneficial to both people.


That was significantly longer than intended. My bad.