547: Kill Yourself

[DJQuad]

Originally Posted by ncfcyank19

I'll keep my mouth shut about the photo right now. I have my own opinions and feelings about 'em. I'll just let you all say what I'm feeling right now. If it doesn't come up by tomorrow, I'll spew it out. For now...just...yeah better let it go.

Thanks Matt.

Whoever gets that gets a gold star.

[paul_r]

Originally Posted by banisters_mind

I seriously considered ending it all, in fact I planned it and even got to the roof of the hospital I was in and prepared to roll the wheelchair off the building. I didn't (obviously) and rolled back to my hospital bed.

Jumping is not a nice way to go.

We had one a college, he downed a bottle of vodka and jumped the 10 stories from the roof, a friends dad worked on security, the guy was still alive for at least 1/2 an hour after he hit the ground.

death is not always instant.

[The Gunner]

Nick is alive, he pussed out of a pussy's way out.

Nick, you owe me $20 and I get to punch you in the fucking throat. You better come through by the time I deploy. Death isn't the worst thing that can happen to you, The Gunner is worse.

[ElleJ]

Originally Posted by The Gunner

Nick is alive, he pussed out of a pussy's way out.

Nick, you owe me $20 and I get to punch you in the fucking throat. You better come through by the time I deploy. Death isn't the worst thing that can happen to you, The Gunner is worse.

I say that at least twice a day!

That said, it's much scarier coming from you than from me!

[The Gunner]

Originally Posted by ElleJ

I say that at least twice a day!

That said, it's much scarier coming from you than from me!

Thats the deal, it'll be worse if he doesn't come through.

[bluecrucial]

Incase Nick needs instructions on how to actually jump and perhaps survive to get the attention I found the instructions on how to jump off a bridge from The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook:

"HOW TO JUMP

1. Jump feet first.
2. Keep your body completely vertical.
3. Squeeze your feet together.
4. Enter the water feet first, and clench your buttocks together. If you do not, water may rush in and cause severe internal damage.
5. Protect your crotch area by covering it with your hands.
6. Immediately after you hit the water, spread your arms and legs wide and move them back and forth to generate resistance, which will slow your plunge to the bottom. Always assume the water is not deep enough to keep you from hitting bottom.

BE AWARE

1. Hitting the water as described above could save your life, although it may break your legs.
2. If your body is not straight, you can break your back on entry. Keep yourself vertical until you hit the water.
3. Don't even think about going in headfirst unless you are absolutely sure that the water is at least twenty feet deep. If your legs hit the bottom, they will break. If your head hits, your skull will break."

Number 4 was enough to convince me the attempt probably isn't worth it.

[King Will]

hay, the gunner, love the avatar!
but if you think about it, being killed by being shot, is bad ass. i think suicide is fitting for this guy. or maybe he could choke on a cock.

[evanonut]

Is that pick on twitter of Nick? If so I'd commit suicide too! FYI, being shot is not the way to go. My choice is being struck by lightning...ZAPPPPPP.

[brotherdarkness]

Originally Posted by evanonut

Is that pick on twitter of Nick? If so I'd commit suicide too! FYI, being shot is not the way to go. My choice is being struck by lightning...ZAPPPPPP.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
welcome to the forums
we hope you enjoy your stay
unless you're lame
in which case you should kill yourself

[Chinaman Fathead]

The newest episode of Nobody Likes Onions is entitled iSuicide and contains some Nick Starr fake suicide info. They also talk about how Nick created fake user account so he could keep up with all of his fake friends wishing him fake heartfelt messages. If you want to skip right to it, it's at the 46 minute mark. It's something I would encourage you to do unless you want to hear a lot of weird sound effects and guys pretend to talk like spiders. I guess I just don't get their show. It's not for me.

Speaking of Nick Starr and podcasts that aren't for me, The Dawn and Drew show episode 611 also discusses Nick Starr's fake suicide attempt. Dawn hoists herself up on her industrial strength soapbox and whines about how mean some unnamed podcasters are - I think it's the Nobody Likes Onions guys - and how these mean podcasters are obviously the ones that pushed Nick into the fake suicide attempt. Not once does she theorize that the reason he tried to commit fake suicide could have been that his fake friends allowed him to live in his car for the past 11 months without stepping in to even fake help. It's also worth noting that this fake heartfelt message from Dawn was brought to you by Podshow and GoDaddy.