698: Deconstructing McNally

[Zenos]

Originally Posted by firefighter_chick

so.. I attempted to break up with the bf. I told myself I was going to do it, no matter what. So I went home, and told him I was leaving for a few days to think about things. Well, he started bawling. he offered to quit the fire department, his job, go on meds, anything to try to make it work out. the big sucker that I am couldnt leave with him like that, so I stayed. Hes been awesome the last couple of days, but I know things will go back to normal very quickly, and then it will be that much easier to leave for real, because at least it wont be that much of a shock to him. This process sucks.

We'll support you through it, but at least he now knows this is the beginning of the end.

[LabMonkey]

My friend's uncle's girlfriend left him a while back. He came home after work to a note on the door and house that was empty of all of her stuff. Apparently most of the big furniture and the kitchen supplies were hers so it was very empty. But she was nice enough to leave him a fork, a spoon, a knife, a plate, a bowl and a cup.
You could take that approach Fire Fighter Chick. Make it quick like removing a bandaid.

[firefighter_chick]

Originally Posted by LabMonkey

My friend's uncle's girlfriend left him a while back. He came home after work to a note on the door and house that was empty of all of her stuff. Apparently most of the big furniture and the kitchen supplies were hers so it was very empty. But she was nice enough to leave him a fork, a spoon, a knife, a plate, a bowl and a cup.
You could take that approach Fire Fighter Chick. Make it quick like removing a bandaid.

I thought about it! haha. but I dont think I could ever do that. Thats awful
like keith said, I wish I could just pack up all of his shit and make him his favorite meal and have it be the end.

[The Girl]

she owns the house with him... otherwise, i would say pack and leave.

[CandleGirl]

Originally Posted by firefighter_chick

so.. I attempted to break up with the bf. I told myself I was going to do it, no matter what. So I went home, and told him I was leaving for a few days to think about things. Well, he started bawling. he offered to quit the fire department, his job, go on meds, anything to try to make it work out. the big sucker that I am couldnt leave with him like that, so I stayed. Hes been awesome the last couple of days, but I know things will go back to normal very quickly, and then it will be that much easier to leave for real, because at least it wont be that much of a shock to him. This process sucks.

I'm in a VERY similar place right now. The b/f and I have been together for just over 5 years, and it's time to end. I've tried breaking it off with him in the past, and he always suckers me into staying with him. The shitty part is that we live in MY house. If we rented or if he owned the house, I would just leave. It's a little harder to convince him to leave, especially when he doesn't take me seriously that I want to split up. Ugh...

[Hodad]

Originally Posted by The Girl

she owns the house with him... otherwise, i would say pack and leave.

FFC, is the house in both your names? And is the mortgage in both your names?

[LabMonkey]

Originally Posted by The Girl

she owns the house with him... otherwise, i would say pack and leave.

I know and that certainly does complicate things. I do think she needs to just do it. If it is over, it is over. If you don't do it quickly and sternly, it can go on forever.

[CandleGirl]

I'm (un)fortunate enough to have been able to buy my house without a mortgage. My father and grandfather passed away about 6 months apart, and I got a pretty large inheritance.

Anyway, so my delusional boyfriend thinks that since he pays half the bills, that somehow he partially owns the house. He forgets that he's been living with me virtually rent-free for two years. Yes, he pays half the bills, and yes he helps clean the house, but he didn't BUY the damn thing!

[dragonize]

..."Lawyers"! Hire one! Or blow one on a Wednesday so he'll do you a freebie divorce!

[jorjo]

Originally Posted by firefighter_chick

so.. I attempted to break up with the bf. I told myself I was going to do it, no matter what. So I went home, and told him I was leaving for a few days to think about things. Well, he started bawling. he offered to quit the fire department, his job, go on meds, anything to try to make it work out. the big sucker that I am couldnt leave with him like that, so I stayed. Hes been awesome the last couple of days, but I know things will go back to normal very quickly, and then it will be that much easier to leave for real, because at least it wont be that much of a shock to him. This process sucks.

Originally Posted by CandleGirl

I'm in a VERY similar place right now. The b/f and I have been together for just over 5 years, and it's time to end. I've tried breaking it off with him in the past, and he always suckers me into staying with him. The shitty part is that we live in MY house. If we rented or if he owned the house, I would just leave. It's a little harder to convince him to leave, especially when he doesn't take me seriously that I want to split up. Ugh...

What is wrong with the two of you? FFS - tell them! Do you think you are doing your men a favour by sticking around when you're unhappy and don't want to be with them anymore? Because you're NOT. You're preventing them (and you) from getting on with their lives and from finding someone who will be happy with them.

Tell them you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. Tell them you want them out of the house by the end of the weekend and that you'll make arrangements regarding any property that is theirs or shared.

Of course they'll be hurt - there is NO WAY you can end the relationship without hurting them. Accept that as a fact. And tell them anyway. Don't let it drag on.

Get it done. If you don't you deserve to be unhappy.



And if they refuse to leave ... bring home a new man and have loud sex ... every night until they're gone.



Oh ... and if you're still having sex with your respective bfs - STOP - that is the mother of all mixed messages.