992: Keith is a Drunk

[Chef]

According to some answering yes to 2 of the following questions, you could have a drinking problem.

1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?

2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?

3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?

4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover (eye-opener)?

I think this test is a little unfair. I've been listening to Keith and the Girl quite some time and I've heard these interventions before. I do believe that Keith will back off for a while and slowly ramp up to his current level of drinking. This will trigger another intervention from Chemda. I predict we will have another show just like this one in about 9-12 months.

[thirteen]

Originally Posted by Chef

According to some answering yes to 2 of the following questions, you could have a drinking problem.

1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?

2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?

3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?

4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover (eye-opener)?

I think this test is a little unfair. I've been listening to Keith and the Girl quite some time and I've heard these interventions before. I do believe that Keith will back off for a while and slowly ramp up to his current level of drinking. This will trigger another intervention from Chemda. I predict we will have another show just like this one in about 9-12 months.

If you're actually asking yourself (or people who really care about you are asking) if you have a problem, chances are you do.

[King of Assholes]

This list of 4 questions is retarded, I'll pick up pamphlet with the full thing on thursday.

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by Chef

According to some answering yes to 2 of the following questions, you could have a drinking problem.

1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?

2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?

3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?

4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover (eye-opener)?

I think this test is a little unfair. I've been listening to Keith and the Girl quite some time and I've heard these interventions before. I do believe that Keith will back off for a while and slowly ramp up to his current level of drinking. This will trigger another intervention from Chemda. I predict we will have another show just like this one in about 9-12 months.

This is a set of question that sets out to elicit "yes" answers, with the possible exception of #4.

[Eightball]

Try to answer the following 10 questions...

[1] Do you look forward to drinking when you wake up?
[2] Do you feel drinking makes you more fun to be around at parties?
[3] Do people laugh more when you are drunk?
[4] Do you feel like having one too many drinks at a party is okay?
[5] Do you drink alone, or during a chat room session?
[6] Have you become more popular since you started to drink?
[7] Do you want people to have a drink with you?
[8] Can you drink most people under the table?
[9] Does drinking help clarify thoughts or conflicts in your mind?
[10] Do you want a drink right now?

If you answered NO to all questions then you are not an alcoholic, or may have been one at some point in your life. Although you have your habit under control you should never forget that you are not as funny as you may think yourself to be. No one likes a prude. Try to keep your opinion to yourself. At a party try to stand next to the bathroom door so that no one tries to strike up an uneventful conversation with you.

If you answered YES to between 1 and 9 questions, then you are probably just like every other normal human being on this planet. You let things go a bit too far sometimes, but it's all for the sake of a good time. You should have not taken this test.

If you answered YES to 10 questions, then you are pure awesomeness. You'll just get better with time, and drinks. Despite what your spouse and/or children may say, everyone can't wait for you to down a few and then share your whitty comments with everyone else at the scene. Everyone is jelous of your radiating personality, especially your significant other.

[John Galt]

[1] Do you look forward to drinking when you wake up? Depends on the day, I think the answer is "no." I might be looking forward to a party that centers around drinking, but it's the party and not the drinking that I'm looking forward to.

[2] Do you feel drinking makes you more fun to be around at parties? Does "feel" mean the same thing as "know it in my soul?"

[3] Do people laugh more when you are drunk? No, I'm just hearing double.

[4] Do you feel like having one too many drinks at a party is okay? What is one too many? One too many to drive? Not a problem if I've got a DD or when I'm not leaving. One too many because I took the last beer / shot? Yes, that's a problem because it's impolite.

[5] Do you drink alone, or during a chat room session? As in drink to drunkeness or as in pop a beer after work even though nobody else is around at the moment? No for the former but yes for the latter.




[6] Have you become more popular since you started to drink? Yes, but I started to drink about the same time I stopped being an awkward kid and started breaking away from a religiously oppressive upbringing. I doubt the booze is what made me more popular.

[7] Do you want people to have a drink with you? Not if they're assholes.

[8] Can you drink most people under the table? This tactic is not my preferred method for getting people under the table.

[9] Does drinking help clarify thoughts or conflicts in your mind? No, but the conversations I sometimes have with people while we're drinking together do sometimes help clarify thoughts.

[10] Do you want a drink right now? No, but I will later tonight when I go out for dinner. It's $2 draft night at Murphy's. Home | Murphy's Taproom

[punk'n]

I answered yes to all the drinky questions. Ah, jeeze....

[Grapist]

Originally Posted by punk'n

I answered yes to all the drinky questions. Ah, jeeze....

Yeah, and reading them made me crave alcohol. FML

[Junkenstein]

Those questions do not help you realize you have a problem, thry actually make it worse. The "Fuck it" factor grows exponentially with every question.

If you think you have a problem, you may have one. If the ones you love think you have a problem, you may have one. And if your health is getting worse, you have to do something.

Keith, sincerely, i love you and Chemda too much for the great things your show did to help me getting out of very bad places. Think about the issue. That's it. I wont bother you anymore.

[beckydewbabe]

I almost cried it was so painful! The show just started off-confrontation central! I'm going to be pissed though if the party super parties don't happen anymore because i just ordered a web cam!

god i wonder if the show will be as funny if keet stops drinking?