Ask Marina

[marina]

Originally Posted by lissabunnie

Dear Marina,
How do I tell my best friend I don't want to date him?

Originally Posted by lissabunnie

I told him that already and he kept telling me how much he liked me and that he'd wait for me forever.
And that got me really angry because he wasn't listening.

Then he's not your friend. Best case scenario he's a lovestruck teenager who doesn't even actually know what girls are, much less how to treat them like human beings. Worst case scenario he's a liar and he's just trying to break down your resolve until he can sleep with you. I'd say stop hanging out with him altogether, but if you can't, don't get drunk or high with him, and don't sleep at his house. Unless you actually do want to sleep with him, then be my guest.

Originally Posted by Draconis

Hmmm. This one seems a bit thick (your friend, not you). Marina, work your magic!

voila

Originally Posted by BrownEyedBtch

Marina, am I pretty? How do I get a boy to like me? Why do cute boys only like the stuck-up girls?

Why try to be pretty when you can be beautiful? Just one look at the alien-fake faces of half of Hollywood can tell you that looks have nothing to do with the perception of beauty, it's how you sell yourself (or are sold by others in the case of a lot of starlets). Be confident in your own worth and you're bound to be the most attractive thing in the room.

It's not that cute guys only like stuck up girls, it's that stuck up people only like other stuck up people. A lot of what makes a guy 'cute' is the same thing I said before-confidence. Be confident in yourself, don't settle for idiots with nice wrapping. Demand substance from yourself and your man, and you'll get it even if it means a lot of patience.

Unless you just want to fuck. Then blind one of those pretty fuckers with your dazzling self-esteem and then kick his ass out your house so you can lie across the bed without him stinking up your sheets.

Originally Posted by MaxxedMan

Aww, you are doing the nice friend thing where you are being gentle so you don't hurt his feelings. That's how stalkers are made.

Be firm, be clear. Don't be gentle and nice. One awkward conversation and he'll drop it. You have to make it hurt a little or you're just gonna have to deal with more.

It's the girl version of a boy having to punch a bully once so he'll leave you alone.

Back me up Marina (Sorry for the hijack)

You've done well in my absence. That's basically the other side of exactly what I said.

Originally Posted by punk'n

You'd have to ask her but I know she talked about it in another thread, something about have wonderful your vagina is and how he should feel lucky to be anywhere near it. I liked it.

It makes sense, very much sense. And if he was fucking up on anything else I'd probably make a bigger deal out of it, but he's pretty much the most wonderful boyfriend ever and maybe I'm just dickmatized but I know he's uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't force him.

Originally Posted by Grapist

Marina, why are you letting this infidel answer questions in YOUR thread? Why have his bones not been ground into fine powder yet?

I know, right? I go to work and all of a sudden a pretender had taken my thrown! Nah, he apologized, it's okay. And let's be honest, he propped the thread up while I was indisposed.

Originally Posted by brotherdarkness

Why is there some social look-down-uponness to adult napping? I think it's one of the few awesome things you can do as a full clothed adult.

Because napping is associated with children and the elderly, two things that regular adults cannot abide.

Originally Posted by brotherdarkness

What's your drink of choice?

Diet coke. Not because of the calorie count, but because of the sweet sweet appertain.

Originally Posted by brotherdarkness

Is this thread really a covert way to assemle an army of loyalists to overthrow the white oppressors? (I'm down.)

Quite you.

[EastTexas]

Marina,

For the last couple weeks I've been craving juice. Normally it is something I would never or rarely drink. I'm having like 2-3 servings a day now of some kind of juice (apple, grape, orange, grapefruit, lemonade, mango). Like last Saturday, normally for poker night I'd bring a 12 pack of beer. I brought apple juice.

I watch a lot of House, so I know this means I have some weird illness. How long do I have to live?

[marina]

Originally Posted by EastTexas

Marina,

For the last couple weeks I've been craving juice. Normally it is something I would never or rarely drink. I'm having like 2-3 servings a day now of some kind of juice (apple, grape, orange, grapefruit, lemonade, mango). Like last Saturday, normally for poker night I'd bring a 12 pack of beer. I brought apple juice.

I watch a lot of House, so I know this means I have some weird illness. How long do I have to live?

As long as you're able to procure your insulin, your whole life.. maybe the last bit without toes, but nobody's perfect.

Of course, given this economic climate, and the likelihood (or lack thereof) of us getting healthcare reform in the near or even distant future.... a month and a half. Nice knowing you, remember me in your will.

[pala]

Ok lets put your prognostication to the test. Will the St. Louis Cardinals win the NL central this year?

[marina]

Originally Posted by pala

Ok lets put your prognostication to the test. Will the St. Louis Cardinals win the NL central this year?

No. Obligatory joke about sports only having space for one successful bird-themed team a year. You know how those are.

[Draconis]

Dear Marina,

Why have I not been laid in ages?

Drac.

[pala]

Originally Posted by marina

No. Obligatory joke about sports only having space for one successful bird-themed team a year. You know how those are.

This makes me sad But obviously since it came from marina I have to take it as fact

[HumbleNarrator]

Originally Posted by pala

This makes me sad But obviously since it came from marina I have to take it as fact

this makes me happy. Go Cubs Go!

[porky2468]

What flavour Shakeaway should I get?

[pala]

Originally Posted by HumbleNarrator

this makes me happy. Go Cubs Go!

Poor Cubs

By the way, I wish you luck on your never ending quest of a World Series. You guys are real troopers sticking with the Cubs for so long. You'd think after 100 slaps on the hand for trying to reach in the cookie jar, you and your team would have learned by now. But hang in there, one day you'll learn your lesson.

Sincerely,

A person who knows what winning feels like