bathroom at work...

[the big lebowski]

okay, so the bowl should be empty when i go to use it. instead you walk into the stall and there's a nice surprise a-waitin. why not flush so that everything goes down. what do you just wipe your ass (i hope) pull em up and jet. or am i the only one that cares if someone else can examine my breakfast? i mean flush twice if you have to...go ahead it's not embarrassing. it's a manly thing. give us a courtasy flush. but don't just leave it. i don't know, maybe i'm too anal about it. litterally. heeyuck!

[Keith]

You took a shit, everything went down but a floating log, but everything just won't flush because the person before you used Wet Wipes instead of regular toilet paper. Is it your job to get a plunger, or has somebody already been paid to do that job?

No, I flushed twice. That's honestly all I can do.

[the big lebowski]

i'll give you that... you try twice there's not much you can do. leave it. you can't spend all day pining over your shit. but most times when i go to do a flush of the remains it goes down no problem. i don't even know why i'm complaining about this to be honest. i mean george bush is killing black people for god's sake.

[MichaelG]

If it's Brown, Flush it Down.

If it's Yellow, Let it Mellow.


My Mom's favorite saying during a water shortage in California

[LD]

I remember going into the bathroom stall in my last job after one for the board directors and he'd just had a barium meal at the hospital.

End result, a nice pile of barium-something-or-other sat in the bottom of the bowl. Which from the looks of it doesn't flush easily, and has some ability to stick to ceramic.

[tranzorz]

We had this guy, used to work for us, had no sense of smell. No sense of personal hygiene, either, by the looks of the concussion blasts he would leave in the bowls.

You could hear the eruption from his ass from across the office, echoing like a fart flirting with the Grand Canyon. He often did what was quoted here before, 1/2 flushing and leaving surprises, and a stain, a fucking stain! The bowl had a layer of, I don't know, like spaghetti sauce in it that you had to smother in that bowl cleaner just to remove. Flushing didn't do, and goddamnit if I was going to shit and have any of that Hazmat water splash up and hit me, you know?

One time, we had plumbing problems (go figure), and that fuck took a dump and couldn't flush it, and just left. I took a 5 gallon drum of water and forced that sonofabitch's rectal intollerance down the drain.

Some people should be force-fed their shit on principle...

[Bob Loblaw]

I'd love to test drive one of these puppies:

http://washlet.com/jasmin.asp

[cognitiveg]

All I gota say is that I dont want to see your face if your getting out of the shitter at work. If I see who is in there smelling up a godam storm I will hence forth associate them with smelly shit. When I shake their hand or say hello all I will see is a big pile of shit so take note and stay in the stall untill you can sneek out. unless you could careless then fine

[the big lebowski]

i know what you mean. if i'm dumping at work and someone else is in the bathroom, i'll wait until they're gone before i leave. like has anyone else noticed that if you're taking a dump and someone comes in to pee at a urinal or something, they start breathing in heavy through their nose? what the fuck?! are you smelling my shit?! i don't try to smell your shit. it's okay to smell your own, but damnit smelling mine is just nasty.

[rellek]

This account departs from the workplace shitting experience, but its shitting related none the less. One year I had a timeshare in NC and the home I stayed at had toilets with powerful suction that has yet to be matched. One actually had to stand up to flush or lean to one side to prevent a complete seal around the toilet seat. Failure to prevent this seal meant an unpleasant pullin on the colon - I shit you not.