Dating

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

this is a really shit attitude to have when you're trying to meet people. you are ready for people to disappoint you. you are ready for these men to meet some stereotype of sexist so you can feel validated and run off.

might i suggest before you start dating you reaffirm some faith in humanity? it really sounds like you don't enjoy men. not in the gay way, just generally. that will make it hard to recognize a great one.

Sparrow, I can't help it! It's mostly anxiety though, when I talk to people irl I give them the benefit of the doubt. For some reason I can't do the same online.

I'm a really positive person in general. But I get pretty cranky about protecting myself.

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

I think Sparrow may have a point. You sound like you're expecting people to suck. Men in particular.

Don't you live in Portland? AKA home to the majority all cool liberal/ progressive men? Aren't there a ton of KATG guys out that way?

I picture every local shop and music venue teeming with cool single peoples. When all else fails: Match.com

I went to the Organic Brewfest by myself! But that's the end of the story.

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

I'm not trying to be mean here, but are you horribly insecure? Or just horribly judgmental?

I think the problem with dating is that you know right away "this isn't the one" So rather than have all these expectations. Maybe try, "well maybe this is the guy I go bowling with. Or go have beers and see live music with."

I got a gal that all we do is pretend to watch Netflix and fuck. You know, certain people for certain activities.

Yes and no. I go back and forth between amazing self confidence to zero, with little in between.

[marykae]

OK, I'll stop whining. I don't think online dating is for me, but I have a million friends here, I'll just hang out until they introduce me to their other friends. That's how I used to do it in the nineties.

[Enunciated Piffle]

Originally Posted by marykae

I don't think online dating is for me...

Everyone thinks this. You should try it. Big city like Portland probably has some great singles You should totally try. You'd be surprised.

If you do actually find someone worthy of introducing to friends or family; you both just make up a lie like you met at the local coffee spot.

It's 2015. Internet dating is less taboo or embarrassing as you think.

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by marykae

Yes and no. I go back and forth between amazing self confidence to zero, with little in between.

PM me when your pendulum is on a zero swing. I tend to do well with low self esteem chicks.

After I'm done, they usually hate me so much they forget about what a piece of shit they think they are.

So it's actually a win/win.

[Nettie-poo]

Originally Posted by Apia

I found my husband though the Internet.
Score.

Me too! Craigslist baby!

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by marykae

when I talk to people irl I give them the benefit of the doubt. For some reason I can't do the same online.

I'm a really positive person in general. But I get pretty cranky about protecting myself.

here's the thing about any kind of intimacy: you have to let the guard down or it doesn't really happen. jump off into nowhere. trust on faith.

it's scary. do it anyway.

you might fall on your face, get your ego or your heart bruised, you might feel embarrassed or out of control, it might not work out

do it anyway.

everybody online is a real person in their underwear watching Netflix worried their profile is stupid. give 'em a break.

christ, you're a derby chick. you're already ahead of other girls by 10 full gold star points.

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Enunciated Piffle

Everyone thinks this. You should try it. Big city like Portland probably has some great singles You should totally try. You'd be surprised.

If you do actually find someone worthy of introducing to friends or family; you both just make up a lie like you met at the local coffee spot.

It's 2015. Internet dating is less taboo or embarrassing as you think.

I don't care about taboo. It's that I don't trust strangers.

[marykae]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

here's the thing about any kind of intimacy: you have to let the guard down or it doesn't really happen. jump off into nowhere. trust on faith.

it's scary. do it anyway.

you might fall on your face, get your ego or your heart bruised, you might feel embarrassed or out of control, it might not work out

do it anyway.

everybody online is a real person in their underwear watching Netflix worried their profile is stupid. give 'em a break.

christ, you're a derby chick. you're already ahead of other girls by 10 full gold star points.

I know. I'm sitting her complaining when I'm basically the best.

Here's the plan. Keep the online profiles, if there's a match and I'm only medium interested, I'll let them know the next big event I'll be at and ask them to meet me there for a couple minutes and simulate accidental irl meeting. So far I've only been medium interested, so I'll leave it at that for now.