DUMPED!
 

What's up my fellow humans?! That's rhetorical.

I had been dating a chick for about 9 months, which is a fair amount for kids my age (17), and we were really serious for whatever we were.

Essentially what happened today was that she woke up at about 3pm, and then she called me on the phone and told me that it was over, because she didn't feel the same. I talked to her on MSN about it. Here is the chatlog, cos fuck privacy.

3:36:24 PM adam: I'm ready to talk.
3:39:17 PM Roz: I'm still crying. Give me a sec.
3:39:30 PM adam: wow, you're crying.
3:39:41 PM adam: okay.
3:39:50 PM Roz: It's still hard for me, you know.
3:39:53 PM adam: sure
3:39:54 PM Roz: I'm so sorry.
3:40:04 PM adam: of course you are
3:40:14 PM Roz: I just felt like the bad outweighed the good.
3:40:17 PM Roz: We fight all the time
3:40:20 PM Roz: & if we're not fighting
3:40:28 PM Roz: we're just dealing with eachother's mood swings
3:40:30 PM Roz: it's not you
3:40:30 PM Roz: or me
3:40:31 PM Roz: even
3:40:38 PM Roz: We're just not right for eachother
3:40:43 PM Roz: & it doesn't matter how hard you work at it
3:40:45 PM Roz: we're not right.
3:41:18 PM adam: fine
3:41:35 PM adam: how long have you not loved me?
3:41:42 PM Roz: I still love you.
3:41:55 PM Roz: Please. THis is really difficult.
3:42:06 PM Roz: I dunno
3:42:13 PM Roz: it just faded into this state of just
3:42:17 PM Roz: not enjoying being together
3:42:23 PM Roz: because I knew it would just turn into something bad
3:42:39 PM Roz: i feel like I clinged to you for security & that's the wrong reason to be together.
3:42:57 PM adam: I was happy.
3:43:09 PM Roz: I wasn't.
3:43:25 PM adam: and it was my fault?
3:43:47 PM Roz: No.
3:43:51 PM Roz: I jsut said it wasn't
3:44:02 PM adam: I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.
3:44:09 PM Roz: I know.
3:44:16 PM Roz: I wasn't happy anymore.
3:44:24 PM adam: will you be happy now?
3:44:26 PM Roz: I feel like to a certain degree I was pretending.
3:44:33 PM Roz: Well i don't know!
3:44:48 PM adam: I was the thing that was making you sad
3:44:52 PM Roz: I just don't want to cling to something that made me feel secure just for that reason.
3:44:58 PM Roz: No you silly, I have depression
3:45:02 PM adam: why else break up with me
3:45:03 PM Roz: It's not contagious.
3:45:06 PM Roz: The thing is
3:45:11 PM Roz: I'll be like this
3:45:12 PM Roz: sad
3:45:18 PM Roz: having break downs
3:45:22 PM Roz: with or without you.
3:45:32 PM Roz: I'm breaking up with you because it doesn't feel right anymore.
3:46:07 PM Roz: & I just couldn't pretend anymore
3:46:15 PM adam: ok
3:46:18 PM adam: done
3:46:43 PM adam: well
3:46:52 PM adam: that's it then.
3:47:15 PM Roz: I really want to stay friends with you.
3:47:23 PM Roz: & I don't mind if I have to wait a year
3:47:27 PM Roz: you were my best friend
3:47:34 PM Roz: you were there for me & I still value you
3:47:57 PM adam: I don't want to stay friends at the moment
3:48:04 PM Roz: I know.
3:48:13 PM Roz: I can't ask for anything more
3:48:23 PM Roz: We had a great run
3:48:32 PM Roz: you're the best boyfriend I've ever had
3:48:39 PM Roz: & I still love you so much
3:48:47 PM Roz: but I just don't think that we're right for eachother
3:48:52 PM Roz: I don't feel the way that I used to
3:48:58 PM adam: yeah
3:49:00 PM adam: I get it
3:49:00 PM Roz: & it just didn't seem worth fighting for.
3:49:23 PM adam: even though you were always the one to say 'i'll fight for you'
3:49:26 PM adam: blah blah
3:49:41 PM Roz: I know, I said that
3:49:43 PM Roz: but it felt like
3:50:00 PM Roz: there was more fighting than there was things to fight for
3:50:25 PM adam: if you think so
3:50:26 PM adam: well
3:50:32 PM adam: I'm off to write a song
3:50:36 PM adam: it's a shame
3:50:36 PM Roz: Please don't make me out to be a bitch.
3:50:44 PM Roz: You know I'm not.
3:50:47 PM adam: we can never play developed* again
3:50:58 PM Roz: Yeah.
3:51:22 PM adam: bye
3:51:26 PM Roz: bye.

*Developed was one of the favourite song I've written to play with my band. It was about her.

Anyway, there are a lot of questions to ask.

1. Should I be satisfied with that explanation?

2. Why don't I feel as bad as I think I should?

3. Ladies?

1. She was pretty straight up about it. Rather that than drag it out with some convoluted excuses.

2. Because you're 17 (when people change their mind about who/what they want a thousand times), she wasn't all that great to be with anyways, you know there's others, etc. Furthermore, she already admitted she's depressed and has break downs; you don't want to be with a basket case.

TL;DR

She's a whore

You're a rock star! Ride it out. Look around. Harden up. Stay aloof. Have fun.

Thanks for that. I kinda understand that all relationships at this age are just learning experiences, but it didn't stop from hitting me pretty hard.

Actually, come to think of it, she was pretty crazy. There were a lot of midnight phonecalls in tears and stress. Thing is, that was my first real relationship, and I kinda got into thinking that all chicks were like that.

Looking back, I hope to fuck they're not.

Hahaha. She was before she met me, and fuck, probably afterwards too. I wish her the best.

Ha, thanks Steve!

A: You're 17. Write some songs about how she broke your heart and move on.

B: If she doesn't have the balls to break up with you in person and has to do it over the phone/MSN at 3 am, she's a drama queen. Drama queens don't grow out of that behavior, so you got out early.

C: Living well is the best revenge. Want to get back at her? Date someone hotter than her and act like it's no big deal. It will drive her nuts.

D: Again, you're 17. Being dumped is part of life. You have to experience being dumped so when you have to dump a girl in the future you'll know not to do it over the phone like a pussy.

E: If none of this sticks, fuck her best friend. If this chicks a whore, her friend is probably a whore too.

Cheer up emo kid, and good luck.

A: Yeah, I was planning on it. If a breakup does any good, it's breakup songs.

B: I was a bit perplexed as to the time and method, but you're right. She is.

C: Haha, yeah, that'd be a good way to get back at her, but idk, she was pretty freaking hot. I thought I was doing quite well for myself :p

D: True, I agree. I imagined a breakup would be just this, and everyone goes through it, so now I know how I handle them, and it's not that bad.

E: I laughed :p Turns out she is kinda whorish, but she's already threatened to kill me. She has a couple of restraining orders against her. Probably not the best idea.

Thanks heaps for advice PoorGradStudent :)

These things don't improve with age!:cool:

This.

Also, fuck her one more time (she's a whore, it won't be a challenge), then get up, start getting dressed and tell her you've got to get ready for a date.

Yeah, but least I know that it's not a life and death thing now, that it's all okay.

Yeah man, that's an excellent idea. The kinda thing that if I did it, people would think it's so genius that it's not possibly true. Hey, who knows what kinda casualness we could get up to. I won't try to seek it out, unless maybe we're at a party and things happen and.. I should start one of those ihateX.com sites.