Embarrassing shitting stories

[Apia resurrected]

I listened to the Sarah Silverman podcast and she said what connects us all are embarrassing shitting stories.
I thought about it and I have one. Who else?

My story:

I was working and at a physician’s office for an appointment.
After the appointment I was at the front desk to fix the following appointment. It was pretty busy with lots of people waiting. I noticed that I felt the need to go to the toilet for Nr 2. It’s not something I regularly do somewhere else but it happens.

After I was done I noticed that the toilet was somehow disconnected from water. It was worked on but I didn’t notice it when I walked in. And why was the door open? Why?
No sign?

I didn’t know what to do. I removed as much of my shit as I could from the bowl and packed it in toilet paper.
Than I packed it into some prospects from my work bag.
I obviously gave up on the appointment, opened the toilet door, rushed to the exit and run away.
My shit went into a dog shit waste bin outside.

Luckily this physician was one of the least important for us in the area, so I decided to remove him from my selection.

[littlp]

I am a home care social worker. I made the mistake of eating Mexican right before doing one of my assessments. As I’m going through the depression screen I can feel the telltale signs of trouble in my bowels. I had to excuse myself in the middle of the assessment to use his bathroom. He was sitting in the front room which didn’t have anything to distract him. And the bathroom was connected to his room where his wife was sleeping. I barely got there in time and the farts made the bowl like a trumpet. I proceeded to destroy their toilet for the next 20 minutes. It was the kind of shit where your entire body overheats and you feel like you will throw up if you don’t get your clothes off. So I had my shirt off, hoping that the lock actually worked. I woke his wife up and could hear her going “what the hell? Oh my!”

When I finally felt like I could function again, I tried to find some air freshner, which of course there wasn’t-had to go back out there and try to do a memory assessment and act like I didn’t smell the god awful left over stench of my horrific mistake.


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[Sparrow]

when i was a kid, my Brother tickled me so hard i full on shit my pants. ran to the bathroom to change and figure out a plan to hide it. what i didn’t realize is a chunk of poo had caught itself on the shower curtain when i bent over. my Mom was very cool to make that a sensitive conversation when she came home and found it.

[Apia resurrected]

Thank you for sharing your shitting stories, it makes me Scheiß-glücklich.
( Scheiße means shit in German. We often say scheiße where you might say fuck. I’m not sure what it says about us)

[Svage]

I was 14, freshman in highschool.

Walking home from school, it would take about an hour for me to do so. I was about 15 mins into my walk and my stomach/intestines started to do the bubble gut dance. I hastened my pace. I was sweating, clutching my gut, looking around wondering if I could duck behind a bush and let it out, sadly there were too many cars around and didn't have the mental fortitude to do it. I was about 10 mins from home when it happened. I had to walk the rest of the way with shitty diarrhea jeans. And yes, I passed by a few people. Thankfully it wasn't anyone i knew.