The Gay Thread

[DarkKnightJared]

Probably be more hardcore if it wasn't Alice in Wonderland characters, but that's still pretty cool.

[marina]

So what do you guys think about the 'It Gets Better' campaign?

Here's an Atlantic Article examining it in depth
Does 'It Gets Better' Make Life Better for Gay Teens? - Sady Doyle - Culture - The Atlantic

Here's their youtube page
YouTube - itgetsbetterproject's Channel

[DarkKnightJared]

I like it--great messages, and I like how all these big people are doing this. I approve.

[notedhero]

I've only seen the one from Mr. Gay San Diego, and now Tim Gunn, so I'm in the middle of the road. Mr. GSD's was a terribly hollow, self-serving video the likes of "Leave Britney Alone." This one from Tim is great, though, so I think it depends on the celebrity. Honestly, I don't really get the idea of people like Kevin Jonas doing it, but I guess it's coming from a good place.

[Abacus]

Zachary Quinto did one, and I nearly poo'd my pants.

I think it's good, it's about time they address this really serious issue. It's something that I definitely have dealt with in the past, so it's nice to see people do something about it.

[RealEmotionX]

Great messages? Excuse fucking me?

IT DOESNT get better. Not all of these kids get to escape in time. Or at all. Not everyone goes to college. Not everyone gets to go to College towns where there is support for them. The message is passive and fucked up. Stop saying it gets better. Take a fucking moment and MAKE IT BETTER.

I understand the message is coming from a good place, but Telling these kids it gets better doesnt help. Its not enough. I know from experience.

[Abacus]

REX, how old are you? Trust me, it gets fuckin better. Obviously going from like, 16 to, say, 19, yeah, it might not get better. But eventually it does.

And you make it get better. If you stop complaining and looking at everything like an obstacle, and just kinda chill, and take a positive outlook, and be pro-active in making things better for you, it gets better.

Obviously the campaign isn't perfect, but at least it's a step. It's bringing attention to a serious issue.

I used to hate living at home. I felt trapped, and alone, and shitty, and all those things. I despise living in my small town. I barely have any friends left here after high school, and certainly no other gay friends here.

But then, instead of thinking of it as a cage, I started thinking, "Hey. I live at home. Yeah, sure, it's not ideal, but at least while I'm living here, my dinner is cooked for me, my laundry is done for me, things aren't THAT bad..." And I made a choice to switch from a program at school that was "proper" or whatever, to something that I am passionate about and I love... And you know what, even though circumstances may not have changed much, things got better, simply because I grew up a little and changed my perspective, and that only came with time and maturity.. And I know that once I finish school, and move to Toronto, they'll get even better.

I'm not saying everyone's life is as peaches and cream as mine. A lot of people have it a LOT shittier. And they don't get home-cooked meals, or free laundry, or a free room even while they live at home. But the fact is, you grow up, you become a real person, get a real job, and you make shit better for yourself. You don't have to go to college, you just have to grow up. Hold strong and stick it out.. Don't kill yourself at 16 or 17 or 18...

The "It Gets Better" campaign isn't about spreading a false image of the future, it's about giving hope. "Don't kill yourself, even though it feels hopeless... You WILL feel better later. Things MIGHT JUST get better later. Don't end your life and give up your entire future." For kids on the brink of suicide, that means a lot.

I'm sorry I went on a rant about this, but I really can't stand when people have shitty and negative attitudes. Life isn't easy, but that doesn't mean you give up and hate it. You make the best of it. And that doesn't mean you're not allowed to complain, of course you are... but like.. Don't take a dump all over something people are doing to try to give these kids hope. Sometimes, someone telling you, "Yo, hang in there, it won't be this shit forever" can mean the difference between life and death. Trust me, I've been there, and if someone hadn't talked me down, and told me, "Look, I know it's mega-shit right now, and it won't get better overnight. But hang in, and think about 5 years from now, and how much better you'll be able to make shit for yourself then" I wouldn't be here typing this right now.

Sorry, that just frustrated me.

[RealEmotionX]

Gurl, we are the same age.

For people stuck in rural areas it doesnt really get better, and the effort it takes to escape is huge, and generally relies on them going to college. College isnt for everyone.

In these places things don't get better. They just get worse.

But when someone asks me: Well how do you make these places better? I dont know how to answer. I dont know what to do. I am stuck in Wyoming for another two years before I can escape, I am luckier than most gays in these places too, I have supportive friends online and offline.

[notedhero]

But that's kind of the point. You can't make the world around you change unless you have political power. What you can do is craft a social environment that doesn't drive you to suicide. It's very true that college is the main escape hatch for most of us in smaller towns, but it's not the only one. I was in college for 2 years before finances made me come back home. That was a little devastating for me on a personal level because it set my "plan" back. 3 years later, I'm moving to New York, when I could have done it earlier had I not obssessed about doing things in a certain order, feeling sorry for myself, and wanting to place blame on other people for my situation.

I don't think that's what you did, Rex, because you did have the balls to move out as quickly as you did. I'm saying that a lot of people make their lives worse by piting themselves and not realizing that their life can be better by being optimistic, setting small goals for themselves, and not allowing setbacks to defeat them. Then, regardless of location, they end up being those lonely, bitter queens tossing cynicsim at everyone's happiness.

[Abacus]

Originally Posted by notedhero

But that's kind of the point. You can't make the world around you change unless you have political power. What you can do is craft a social environment that doesn't drive you to suicide. It's very true that college is the main escape hatch for most of us in smaller towns, but it's not the only one. I was in college for 2 years before finances made me come back home. That was a little devastating for me on a personal level because it set my "plan" back. 3 years later, I'm moving to New York, when I could have done it earlier had I not obssessed about doing things in a certain order, feeling sorry for myself, and wanting to place blame on other people for my situation.

I don't think that's what you did, Rex, because you did have the balls to move out as quickly as you did. I'm saying that a lot of people make their lives worse by piting themselves and not realizing that their life can be better by being optimistic, setting small goals for themselves, and not allowing setbacks to defeat them. Then, regardless of location, they end up being those lonely, bitter queens tossing cynicsim at everyone's happiness.

Word!