I was on the KATG chat the other day and got BEAR SPRAYED IN THE FUCKING FACE

[KeithM]

It was about 3am, I was walking home from work. I stopped about 3 blocks from my house, sat at an out-of-service bus stop and pulled out my laptop, because there was a wireless signal there. I was just gonna check email and book, but I hung around to see who was on the chat. Jennifer from Victoria, Bren_duh from the brolo show, and Frizz, how you doing.

It really was truly retarded for me to have a laptop out in public at 3am, so when two asian kids sidled up I reckoned something was up. One of them said "I think you should give me your laptop", and before I even had a chance to say, "Okay" I got a face full of bear spray.

I cannot over-emphasize how incredibly painful bear spray is at every stage. Even though I was close to home I had to call 911 because I couldn't open my eyes. It was 12 hours before the burning subsided enough for me to go to sleep, and today I buzzed all my hair off because I couldn't get the shit out of it. Bear spray is truly hellish, because hot water makes it burn more, and cold water is too cold to take a prolonged shower in. Also it spreads, so the spray on my face made its way to my dick, and that was second only to the eyes for pure pain.

I haven't got a computer, and Erin's comp is fucked up and keeps resetting every 15 minutes, so this looks like an indefinite end to logorrhea. I'll try to find a computer somewhere to at least do a send off episode, because I've got a fucking good story to tell. Fucking christ, bear spray. I would seriously not wish that kind of pain on anyone I've ever met. There are a couple faceless rapists in my ex-girlfriend's past who could use a face full of it, but that's it. Holy FUCK.

I am proud to say that the last thing I heard on my laptop was Uncle Miltie's dozens of jokes about his giant cock, which made me laugh incredibly hard. So thanks Matt, Keith and Miltie for the hilariousness.

The worst part is that there's no way I could ever recognize those kids and bust their skulls open with a baseball bat, because asian teenagers all look the same. It's like a built in ninja ability. Little fucking bastards.

[JediMom]

Bear spray? I have never even heard of the stuff. That fucking sucks! Sorry, man.

Here is hoping that there is some nasty karma floating their way. Like some freakish Dance Dance revolution accident. Or maybe they get their arms stuck in a plinko machine or something.....

[RichardAZ]

Jesus, that has to suck. Only in Canada, is all I can say. I feel really bad for you Keith. I guess I'll have to go elsewhere for my fix of "making fun of drunk Native Canadians".

Darn!

[Annie]

Sorry to hear about it. It sounds horrible. Whatever Bears Spray is.

It does remind me of the story you told about shooting a load in a girl's face and blinding her. And then delighting in leading her to the bathroom instead of getting it with a shirt or something.

[DanClass]

bear spray is like pepper spray or mace but the canister launches the shit like 20 feet

the shit is so foul it repells pissed of bears

very popular in the great northwest

[stjoe]

Originally Posted by KeithM

It was about 3am, I was walking home from work. I stopped about 3 blocks from my house, sat at an out-of-service bus stop and pulled out my laptop, because there was a wireless signal there. I was just gonna check email and book, but I hung around to see who was on the chat. Jennifer from Victoria, Bren_duh from the brolo show, and Frizz, how you doing.

It really was truly retarded for me to have a laptop out in public at 3am, so when two asian kids sidled up I reckoned something was up. One of them said "I think you should give me your laptop", and before I even had a chance to say, "Okay" I got a face full of bear spray.

I cannot over-emphasize how incredibly painful bear spray is at every stage. Even though I was close to home I had to call 911 because I couldn't open my eyes. It was 12 hours before the burning subsided enough for me to go to sleep, and today I buzzed all my hair off because I couldn't get the shit out of it. Bear spray is truly hellish, because hot water makes it burn more, and cold water is too cold to take a prolonged shower in. Also it spreads, so the spray on my face made its way to my dick, and that was second only to the eyes for pure pain.

I haven't got a computer, and Erin's comp is fucked up and keeps resetting every 15 minutes, so this looks like an indefinite end to logorrhea. I'll try to find a computer somewhere to at least do a send off episode, because I've got a fucking good story to tell. Fucking christ, bear spray. I would seriously not wish that kind of pain on anyone I've ever met. There are a couple faceless rapists in my ex-girlfriend's past who could use a face full of it, but that's it. Holy FUCK.

I am proud to say that the last thing I heard on my laptop was Uncle Miltie's dozens of jokes about his giant cock, which made me laugh incredibly hard. So thanks Matt, Keith and Miltie for the hilariousness.

The worst part is that there's no way I could ever recognize those kids and bust their skulls open with a baseball bat, because asian teenagers all look the same. It's like a built in ninja ability. Little fucking bastards.

First off, that was a shit-for-brains move on your part. You live somewhere near Broadway or something? Okay, that was a stupid question... anywhere in the Lower Mainland is a dumb place to pull out a laptop at any time of the day.

Secondly, I have a piece of shit PC sitting at the bottom of the stairs I might be able to mail you. I forget what it is, but it's fast enough to run WinXP (sort of. I think it only has 512MB of PC2100). I don't have a monitor for it, but you can find one pretty cheap.

Thirdly, If Erin's PC is rebooting every 15 minutes I'd check the power supply, and if not that, I'd check to make sure the MoBo isn't overheating. That's what my last two PCs did, and it turned out the temperature gauge on the motherboard was fucked on both of them. Another cause for the overheating can be too much coolant goo on the chip, which pushes the sys fan away from the chip and causes overheating (friend had that problem two weeks ago). Either way, rebooting every 5 - 20 minutes is the result.

[KeithM]

Originally Posted by stjoe

First off, that was a shit-for-brains move on your part.

Trust me, I've learned my lesson. You'll recall that I was sitting in a parking lot the other day torrenting the miltie preshow from you, so I was getting more and more comfortable with the idea of having the computer out in public. I definitely had that presumption taken care of, and then some.

Originally Posted by stjoe

Secondly, I have a piece of shit PC sitting at the bottom of the stairs I might be able to mail you.

I would be glad to take it off your hands, and shittiness is all relative with computers. Anything that can record a wave file is really all I need, and I do have a spare monitor kicking around. Mailing a pc is bound to be pricey, so if you'd rather that I just pick it up, drop me a line and we can meet somewhere. keithmpire@hotmail.com I'm the bald guy with bloodshot eyes that scares all the children.

[Dave]

Yup it stings. I find getting very drunk helpfull.

[stjoe]

Originally Posted by KeithM

Mailing a pc is bound to be pricey, so if you'd rather that I just pick it up, drop me a line and we can meet somewhere. keithmpire@hotmail.com I'm the bald guy with bloodshot eyes that scares all the children.

Hahaha! Nice description. I'm in Kelowna, which would be 4.5 hours away. I lived in PoCo, Chilliwack, Burnaby, and New West for about 6 years, though. Mailing it can't be that much. I buy my parts for PCs from Anitec on Kingsway and usually the shipping is reasonable.

[Noahfingway]

Originally Posted by Annie

Sorry to hear about it. It sounds horrible. Whatever Bears Spray is.

It does remind me of the story you told about shooting a load in a girl's face and blinding her. And then delighting in leading her to the bathroom instead of getting it with a shirt or something.

So...your'e saying.....he deserved it? Like Karma?


Sorry keith that's a bummer but at least they didn't cover you with glitter. YOu can never get rid of that shit.