Lil' help

[lizzy1e]

Hi guys

I could really use a little advice or a kick in the ass, whichever you think is needed.

I've been whining about wanting to leave this country for years now. I'm an artist and there is just no way for an artist to really make it here, especially not with the type of day job I have where I work 12 hour days quite often. I recently found out that anyone born here before 1990 qualifies for a South African passport and I've considered applying. Not that it's an absolute happyland over there, but there is a lot more opportunity work-wise and a lot more to do for fun in general - if you don't mind the occasional murder/robbery/hijacking.

All I had to do to apply was get a certified copy of my birth certificate and I asked my mom for mine. She said it was packed in boxes somewhere and she'd look for it. Last weekend I asked her again and she admitted she knew exactly where it was, but didn't want to give it to me and if I moved we may as well kill her. She keeps saying things like this and it really upsets me... she keeps telling me to wait until she dies to move anywhere else and everytime I bring it up she'll ramble on and on about every negative story she saw on the news about another place.

I know I can't live for my parents, but hearing things like that doesn't exactly encourage me or make it easy to go. It really doesn't feel fair, but I'm so terrified to leave after hearing her talk like that. I currently live 4 hours drive away and hate where I am. I've considered moving back to where they are as I like the slower pace of life near the ocean, but to find work there that isn't something industrial or as a receptionist for someplace industrial is nearly impossible so I don't think it would be a step forward.

I don't really know what to do. I had all these dreams of doing something creative for a living like animation or illustration and now I don't even know what I want anymore. I feel really lost. Any advice?

[DWarrior]

Can you get a copy of your birth certificate from the government?

[lizzy1e]

I eventually got it from her. It just makes it all a little harder not having my family's support, but I guess I should suck it up and give it a try.

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by lizzy1e

I eventually got it from her. It just makes it all a little harder not having my family's support, but I guess I should suck it up and give it a try.

Pretty standard imo if you want to do something nonstandard (that's why it's nonstandard). Lip up and go!

[BrianAlt]

Sit her down and say, "mom, I know you said that my moving would kill you, but this is something I really need to do. I appreciate that you want me to stay here, but it's time for me to do something for myself and on my own."

Don't let her cry you out of it. She'll try to. Don't expect that she'll understand what you're saying, even if she does she'll never admit it.

The bottom line is, she will live! Stick to your guns. You'll regret it forever if you don't.

[marina]

Originally Posted by DWarrior

Lip up and go!

win

[lizzy1e]

Thanks guys. I realise this was probably a bit of a useless thread, but I just wanted an opinion on the subject. I'll get the necessary papers tomorrow and start living my own life.

[poingjam]

Good for you. Moving is a great way to add some steam to your life. It may be tough as hell, but if you have an ounce of wanderlust, you'll be glad you left every time you remember that you could still be stuck at home.

[dannyhatch]

Originally Posted by poingjam

Good for you. Moving is a great way to add some steam to your life. It may be tough as hell, but if you have an ounce of wanderlust, you'll be glad you left every time you remember that you could still be stuck at home.

Exactly. Speaking as someone who very recently moved across the country, I don't regret it one bit. There are times when I miss the luxuries at home that I took for granted (no rent, always having food in the kitchen) but then I see the Manhattan skyline and every ounce of doubt I have about my choice is wiped away.

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by dannyhatch

Exactly. Speaking as someone who very recently moved across the country, I don't regret it one bit. There are times when I miss the luxuries at home that I took for granted (no rent, always having food in the kitchen) but then I see the Manhattan skyline and every ounce of doubt I have about my choice is wiped away.

What about for those of us who could see the Manhattan skyline from our parents house bedrooms before we moved out, and now we can't?